


The Fletcher's Heart Paradox

by Moonlady9



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adult Content, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Love Triangles, Slow Burn, Time Travel, Triggers, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 75,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlady9/pseuds/Moonlady9
Summary: They are familiar yet total strangers. She knew their names but not the kind of people they were in this moment in time, she knows who they are from her moment in time. 28 years is a long time for people to change, but how much will Sakura change? How long will her heart stay steadfast, now in this new time. Time changes people, and their hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi here is a new story,  
> Please let me know what you think. I need a little extra confidence on this one because I'm not totally sold on it, I have an idea where I want it to go but not sure how much time I want to invest in it. Also, here's an explanation on The Fletcher's Paradox for those that want to know.
> 
> The Fletcher's Paradox- By Philosopher Zeno  
> For motion to occur, an object must change the position which it occupies. That in any one instant of time, for the arrow to be moving it must either move to where it is, or it must move to where it is not. However, it cannot move to where it is not, because this is a single instant, and it cannot move to where it is because it is already there. In other words, in any instant of time there is no motion occurring, because an instant is a snapshot. Therefore, if it cannot move in a single instant it cannot move in any instant, making any motion impossible.

A groan escaped her lips. Her entire body ached, she felt like she had just been dropped from the highest building ever built. She took in a deep breath, she sniffed and smelled the trees in the forest and wet undergrowth, she felt the moist grass under her. She heard the grass crunch beside her, her eyes flew open and in a flash she was in a crouching position with a kunai in her hand.

“Maa, Maa, relax I’m not going to hurt you. Who are you? I’ve never seen you before." He put his hands up to show he was unarmed.

Sakura stared at the man in front of her, his silver hair sticking up just as she remembered, but his headband was covering his left eye again. “Kakashi-sensei?”

He quirked his head in confusion, “Sensei? Did Tenzo and Yugao put you up to this? It’s bad enough they call me senpai.”

She blinked, she stood up straight and studied him, he was as tall as she remembered but leaner, his uncovered eye seemed to be younger, his hair was a steelier silver. He had on a short sleeve shirt and black pants with brown skirted panels that fell to his knees on the either side of his waist. She didn’t know what was going on but she knew for sure this Kakashi was not the one she knew.

“I’m sorry I hit my head pretty hard, but you are Hatake Kakashi correct?” She gave him a smile hoping to seem like she was lost and needed help, which was the truth.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her, “Yes, who are you?”

She bit her lip, she needed more information, “How old are you twenty? Twenty-two?”

“I’m twenty-one. What does that have to do with who you are?” His voice now had an edge to it, he was becoming suspicious of her.

Sakura was doing the math in her head, the Kakashi she knew was forty-nine, she tried to contain her shock as she realized she was twenty-eight years in the past. She would be around seven or eight years old in this time. She couldn’t give him her real name. “I’m…” She looked around and noticed the morning sun rising, “Akemi, my name is Akemi.”

“Akemi, where are you from?” His stormy eyes were watching her closely.

“I’m from Konoha, see.” She reached for her headband and noticed it wasn’t there. “Where is my headband?” She looked around hoping it had just fallen off and landed nearby.

Kakashi’s stance changed, he was now wary of her. “You could be an enemy trying to infiltrate the village. You’re not going anywhere until I can verify who you are.

Sakura was becoming irritated. “Look kid, if I say I’m from Konoha then I’m from Konoha. I don’t know how I got here or why my headband is missing but you will let me go into the village.” She clenched her fist using her best mom voice.

He bristled, “Kid? You look to be the same age as me.”

She gasped and looked down at herself. Her hands were smoother with less scars, she grabbed at herself, everything was tighter, she looked behind her and moved her hands down her hips, then she grabbed at her breasts, back as perky as they used to be before Sarada.

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably as she groped her own body, “Will you stop? What do you mean you don’t know how you got here?”

Now Sakura was extremely confused, she was back in time and in a younger body, it’s one thing to possibly fall through a portal and land back in time, but her body to switch to a younger version of herself was something else. She shook herself from her thoughts, she needed to deal with the situation in front of her. She needed to talk to someone that could confirm her identity and she could trust. She snapped her fingers as the perfect person came to mind. “Yamanaka-sama, is he in the village now?”

Kakashi stared at her, not answering.

She sighed in exasperation. “Kakashi, he’s the only one that can verify who I am, send Pakkun to get him since you don’t want to leave me alone.” She crossed her arms in annoyance.

Kakashi didn’t like the way she said his name with such familiarity, “How do you know about Pakkun?”

“I just do, now just do it, I don’t have all day.” Her anger was starting to show.

He scoffed, but summoned Pakkun and sent him to the village. Sakura sank to the ground, she felt so weary. She reached up to her hair and realized it was long, down her back. She sighed, she was in a mess and didn’t know how she got here let alone how to get out of it. She was overwhelmed, she needed to find out how to get back to her own time and her own body. She pulled her knees up and put her head between them.

“Hey are you ok?” Kakashi watched her hunched form.

“I don’t know yet.” She really didn’t, she just knew she needed to get back. She thought of the possibilities. This wasn’t a genjutsu, it was more of a space-time jutsu. The last thing she remembered was training with Sarada and Boruto and Sarada’s mangekyo awakening.

They waited in silence, after some time they heard footfalls and the pattering of Pakkun’s paws on the grass. She stood up and saw Inoichi’s sea glass colored eyes. Her heart lurched, he had been dead for about twenty years to her. She felt his eyes study her, he turned to Kakashi, “Is she why you called me?”

Sakura spoke up, “I asked for you specifically Inoichi-sama.”

He turned back to her with his penetrating gaze. “Why?”

“Because you are the only one that will know that I am telling the truth.” She needed his help.

“I don’t know who you are, I’ve never seen you before.” His eyes moved to her hair, “My daughter’s friend has hair like yours, are you related to the Haruno’s?”

She sighed, he had met her already, just as a child, “In a way. Inoichi-sama, I think it would be easiest if I tell you my story and you look through my head to verify.” She could see his distrust, “Please, it’s a good story, but if you don’t mind please only look at the most recent memories. It should be enough to prove who I am.”

He nodded slowly, “Well let’s hear the quick version so I know what to look for.”

“Um, it’s sensitive information.” She glanced at Kakashi, he followed her gaze.

“Kakashi could you give us some privacy?” Inoichi asked, Kakashi nodded and left. He turned back to Sakura.

“I’m from the future.” She saw his eyes widen in surprise, “I don’t know how it happened but I’m 35 and my real name is Haruno Sakura.”

He stared at her dumbfounded. “From the future?”

Sakura nodded, “My daughter is part Uchiha and awakened her Mangekyo Sharingan, I think she sent me back. If you need to look into my memory please do, but for your safety you can’t know too much of the future. Look into my childhood and my most recent memories.” She knew it sounded crazy, she knew it made her seem like she needed to go to the hospital and get checked out for mental health issues, but she hoped he trusted her.

He nodded, and she sighed in relief, he did a few hand signs and placed his hands on her temples. She felt a pressure push into her mind. She could see what he was searching through, he was going through her childhood, her playing with Ino, her crush on Sasuke, then he switched to her newest memories of the last week. She was having dinner with Ino, Sai and Inojin.

He gasped and pulled back. “Is that Ino?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have seen that one.” She said sadly.

“Is that my grandson?” He couldn’t help the small smile on his face.

Sakura bit her lip in thought, he would never meet his grandson, this was the only time he would see him. “Yes, he’s your grandson, but it’s best for you not to see too much, but if it helps, Ino grows to become a wonderful woman, a strong kunoichi head of the Yamanaka clan.” He opened his mouth to ask her questions, “Please, the less you know the better when it comes to the future, I don’t know what kind of repercussions would happen if you acted on this knowledge, how that may change things.” He nodded and went back to sifting through her memories, he zeroed in on the last thing she remembered before waking up.

He stood back trying to comprehend everything he had just learned. He sighed, “I believe you, but how are you going to get back?”

She shook her head in desperation, “I don’t know but I need to get back to my daughter, my family, I need your help Inoichi-sama.”

He thought about what to do, “I can speak with Lord Third, I think I can give you a temporary identity as a special-nin that has been away for a long term mission, and that should explain why no one has seen you.”

She nodded, “That should give me time to research jutsus so I can get back. I told Kakashi my name is Akemi.”

“Good let’s go to the Hokage.” He called for Kakashi, who appeared in a flash on his knee.

“Yes Inoichi-sama.” He glanced at Sakura before settling on Inoichi.

“You are free to go, I will take Akemi. Thank you for your help.” Kakashi stood up at his dismissal.

Sakura bowed, “Thank you Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi nodded, she could have sworn she saw a light pinkness on the edge of his mask, then he was gone. She smiled, he seemed so different form the Kakashi she knew, but he still felt uncomfortable when people showed him gratitude.

She was waiting outside the Hokage’s office as Inoichi talked to the Hokage. She saw a few people she recognized as they walked past her, some that she hadn’t seen in a very long time. Asuma walked by, she wished she could tell him what a beautiful and fierce daughter he left behind. The door opened, she followed Inoichi out as they went to the rooftop gardens.

“This is your apartment key, I’m not sure how long this will take but you need somewhere to sleep and shower at least. It’s the large apartment building in the third district by the library, you won’t miss it.”

Sakura took the key and nodded, “Yes I know which one you’re talking about.”

Inoichi handed her a card, her Shinobi Identification Card, stamped with a seal to give her special access to ANBU libraries. That was more than she had expected. “You will have better luck researching Uchiha justsu in the ANBU libraries, though I still believe it will be very limited. What did you specialize in before?”

“I am Jonin rank, I specialized as a medic, poisons and antidotes, I run a children’s clinic. I am also a taijutsu specialist using my chakra control for super strength.” She pocketed the items he gave her.

“Sounds like Tsunade-hime.” He smiled at the thought.

“She was my shishou.” He looked Impressed. “I can even summon Katsuyu, I also have mastered the Byakugo Seal. The seal mark should still be on my forehead, I haven’t looked in a mirror yet to check.”

He glanced at her forehead, “It’s there. You seem to be quite a powerful and accomplished kunoichi.”

She smiles, “My entire generation goes on to accomplish great things.”

He smiled back, “That’s good to know. Here is your allowance for food and things, if you need anything please come to me, you might want to avoid seeing your child self or others if you can.”

Sakura nodded in understanding, “Thank you Inoichi-sama.”

“One last thing,” He reached into his pocket and gave her a headband, “Don’t lose this one.”

She grinned, “I won’t.” She tied it around her head.

They headed their separate ways, she wanted to take a shower, she always felt better after a shower to clear her head. She stopped by the store for soap, shampoo and a change of clothes and other necessities. She found her apartment, it was a small studio, sparsely furnished. She stepped into the shower letting the steam clear her mind.

She thought back to the moment Sarada had awakened her Mangekyo, she tried to recollect everything she knew of the Sharingan powers. She knew of Kamui and Izanagi, she wondered if Sarada had somehow combined the two. It could also have environmental factors, they were at Blood Cave, an Uchiha sacred training site. Sakura sighed, she just hoped Sarada was safe, that she would go to Kakashi, or Naruto so they could get in contact with Sasuke. If it was Sarada’s jutsu that sent her here, she may have to wait until they figured it out.

She turned off the shower and threw on black cuffed shorts, a black undershirt, and a red vest tied together with a black sash. It was already mid day and her stomach was protesting, so much had happened in such a short amount of time. She walked out and searched for a place to eat lunch, she was stopped in her tracks seeing an eight year old Sasuke smiling and laughing at Itachi’s side. She felt her stomach flutter, she had never seen Sasuke smile and laugh like he was now, she then felt a heavy sadness fill her heart. She watched Itachi smile back at his little brother, it wouldn’t be long from now that he would massacre his entire family leaving behind a broken and hate filled child. She couldn’t stop herself and followed them at a distance. Itachi bought Sasuke some dango on a stick that they shared, She wondered if Itachi had already started planning for the tragedy that would befall the Uchiha clan. She continued to watch them, she wanted a glimpse of the love the two Uchiha brothers shared before that night.

Sakura had been so intent on watching them, she didn’t even notice when Itachi put her under a genjutsu. She saw a black crow land on a branch in front of her.

“Why are you following us?” It spoke to her. She quickly broke the genjutsu, she cursed at herself for letting him notice her, she ducked into an alley catching a small glance and a look of surprise on Itachi’s face that someone had broken his genjutsu so easily. Years of experience with Sharingan left her with a few tricks. She dashed across the market place and found herself in front of a very familiar place, she stepped into Ichiraku. She sat down and was surprised to see Kakashi sitting on the other end, he was engrossed in a book, she wasn’t going to bother him. She ordered and hoped he would ignore her, she didn’t feel like talking to him after that morning.

She was halfway through eating her ramen when she felt someone slide in to the stool next to her. She turned and was met with large chocolate brown eyes, matching shoulder length hair tied back with a bandana, and a very charming smile with a senbon between his teeth. She swallowed.

“What’s a beautiful woman doing eating alone?” He smiled as he turned to face her.

Sakura felt herself flush, and then wanted to laugh. She was older than this Genma by a decade at least, but now they were technically around the same age. She smiled back, it had been a very long time since someone had flirted with her, “I’m a big girl now, I can eat by myself.”

He chuckled, “You have a wonderful smile. I’m Genma.”

She didn’t want to be rude, “I’m Akemi.”

“A beautiful sunrise, it fits you.” He grinned.

She had never really spent time with Genma before, being a guard their time hardly ever overlapped. The most they had ever interacted was when he came to fetch her when she was being summoned by the Hokage, while on duty he was serious and proud. Outside of work, she knew him to be an eternal bachelor, there wasn’t a woman that Genma didn’t find beautiful, which was a positive point in his personality, he loved all women, he could always find something unique and good about her, making her feel special, even if it was for a night. She heard the stories from many a woman that he had chosen and been attentive to, and every woman had a positive experience with him. She noticed his broad shoulders she couldn’t deny that he was quite handsome in a way that made women feel at ease which helped with his reputation as a ladies’ man.

“So why haven’t I seen you around before? I try to make it my business to meet as many beautiful woman as I can.” Sakura laughed, mostly because this was such a ridiculous situation, more than his cheesy pick up line.

“I have long-term missions, I don’t spend too much time in the village.” She finished her ramen, “Anyways I have to go. Nice to meet you Genma.” She stood up, Genma moved and knocked over a glass, it broke on the counter, a shard landing on his thigh, blood started flowing out.

He hissed in pain, “Damn it.” He reached to remove the shard, Sakura slapped his hand away.

“Hold still.” She grabbed clean napkins, took the shard out, and pressed more on the wound. She reached into her pouch and pulled out a disinfectant to clean the area. She finished by closing the wound with her healing chakra. She stood up, “There, all done.” Sakura had reacted without thinking, and now she had two stunned young men staring at her in awe.

Kakashi seemed to find her healing more interesting that his book. “You healed him in under a minute.”

“Wow, you’re quite a woman Akemi, you should let me thank you with drinks tonight.” Genma offered, Kakashi rolled his eyes, Sakura stifled a giggle.

“Don’t worry about it, it was a small cut. Just try not to do that again.” She put away her disinfectant.

“No promises, especially if you’re going to be around to heal me.” Genma winked at her.

Sakura shook her head, “I won’t always be around Shiranui.” She walked off, and then realized she had called him by his last name which he hadn’t told her.

He called out after her, “How did you know my last name?”

She turned and gave him a wink, “I know a lot of things.” She left them with that and jumped up to the roofs heading to the general library. She pulled books and scrolls related to space-time jutsus and teleportation. She sat down and started reading. Sakura hadn’t wanted to go straight into the ANBU library yet, she wanted to learn about the basics before she could research Izanagi and Kamui.

Hours passed when she felt someone sit down in front of her, she rolled her eyes hoping it wasn’t Genma, she didn’t want to be bothered. She looked up to see a masked face, his lone eye staring at her intently.

“That’s interesting reading.” He watched her as if she was prey.

Sakura did not like the way he was looking at her, “What is it to you Kakashi?” She turned back to her scroll.

“There’s something off about you, I can’t put my finger on it, but I don’t trust you.” Sakura looked up at him and felt a sting in her heart. If there had ever been a person she trusted with her life it was Kakashi, and he had always trusted his life to her. This Kakashi was not hers, she reminded herself, and considering the circumstances, she wouldn’t trust herself either if the roles were reversed.

She met his stormy eye and smiled softly at him. “You may not trust me but I trust you. In another time I think you and I would be great friends.”

He was taken aback, she was being nice and he wasn’t sure if it was genuine or an act. He stood up and left. Sakura watched him leave, she breathed out, she didn’t need to worry about changing his mind, the less he saw of her the better. She went back to her research.

She left when the library closed and stopped by a stand for some steamed buns. She ate as she walked, she passed the entrance to the Uchiha district. It was strange to see it full of people, she had only seen it empty, now it was full of life. She kept walking, she didn’t want Itachi to notice her a second time. She walked down a street heading back to her apartment. Sakura saw dark wings cross her path and felt the signature chakra of the sharingan.

“If you have something to say, say it to my face Itachi.” She broke the genjutsu. He appeared from the shadows. She was surprised at how young he was, he was as tall as her, but his eyes held so much sadness.

“Who are you?” He questioned. He had a deep commanding voice for his age.

“Someone who isn’t here to harm anyone.” Sakura answered vaguely.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He activated his scarlet eyes and bore down on her.

Sakura stared back defiantly, “That’s all you need to know, I’ll be gone soon enough anyways.”

Itachi let his eyes turn back to his midnight ones. “How can you break my genjutsu so easily?”

“I’ve been around Uchihas most of my life, I’ve learned a few things.” She crossed her arms in front of her.

“Why are you watching us?” His eyes were just as penetrating as his sharingan.

Sakura didn’t have a good answer to give him, “I just wanted to see how the Uchiha’s are doing before I have to leave again.” She looked down sadly, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop what would happen in the near future. “Anyways, I’m going to get going.” He seemed confused but let her walk away.

She reached her apartment and realized she hadn’t bought clothes to sleep in, she took off her clothes leaving panties and her undershirt, she finished the rest of her buns. She sat on the bed and went over her notes. She sighed, how was she going to get home? She felt tears start to flow down her face, she sobbed. She missed her family, her friends, she wanted her own bed. She was so overwhelmed, she had tried to remain levelheaded and strong but as she looked at her research, she hadn’t encountered a jutsu powerful enough to send her back. She laid down, hugged a pillow and cried herself to sleep.

Sakura woke up still feeling heaviness in her heart, she looked up at the unfamiliar ceiling, she would normally wake up, call for Sarada to get up, she would make breakfast and then prepare lunch for the both of them. Now she just laid in bed, she had nothing to eat and she needed to go to the ANBU library. She was hoping she could avoid seeing anyone familiar and that she would find something that would help her. She showered, got dressed and headed out.

Sakura found a shop for a quick breakfast and coffee. She waked over to the ANBU Headquarters building. She received curious looks, she ignored them and walked in. She flashed her card to the guards and was let in. She quickly made her way to the library and pulled more books on jutsus and some on the sharingan. She worked until her stomach started protesting. She put everything back and started walking out with the intention of finding something to eat. She had her nose in her notebook when she bumped into someone.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Sakura looked up and was faced with a white mask, silver hair sticking up. “Oh Kakashi, I was distracted.”

Kakashi took off his mask, “What are you doing here?”

She couldn’t read his expression, but it wasn’t the warm feeling she was used to from him. “I’m doing research.” She closed her notebook and tucked it into her pouch.

He narrowed his eye at her. “Are you ANBU?”

“All you need to know is that I have access to be here.” Sakura knew she was being rude and that it wasn’t helping her reputation with him, but she had no choice. Luckily ANBU was shrouded in mystery, even to its own members. He made a sound of discontent, “I am under no obligation to tell you why I am here. I don’t ask about your missions.”

At that moment another person appeared at Kakashi’s side. Sakura cursed, this was another person she wanted to avoid at all costs. Itachi gave her a hard look then turned to Kakashi, “Taicho, Lord Third is waiting for us.” Kakashi nodded, Itachi turned his gaze back to Sakura, his eyes now scarlet.

“It’s rude to use your sharingan here and against a fellow shinobi, and I think it’s been established that it doesn’t work on me.” Sakura spoke softly but with a razors edge to her voice. Kakashi was watching this exchange, and Sakura could have sworn he looked impressed.

“You can break his genjutsu?” Kakashi tried to keep the surprise out of his voice.

Sakura huffed, “I have to go.” She left both men, she could feel their eyes follow her out. She had barely stepped out of the building when Genma was walking in with Iwashi. “Well shit.” She cursed under her breath. So much for staying away from everyone. At least Genma always made her smile.

He came up to her, “Hey beautiful, fancy seeing you here.” He smiled at her.

“Sorry Genma, I’m in a hurry.” She smiled apologetically.

“Well how about drinks tonight? As a thank you.” He looked at her expectantly.

“Ah, I can’t sorry.” Sakura walked off in a hurry, she really needed to stop meeting those three in the worst places.

She grabbed a quick lunch and went to the rooftop gardens to read over her notes. She saw red and white robes from the corner of her eyes. She immediately stood up and bowed. “Hokage-sama.”

He chuckled, “Sit please.” He waived his hand for her to sit. He sat down next to her. “You are the young woman that Inoichi-san told me about yesterday, correct?”

Sakura flushed, “Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“He didn’t tell me your real identity, just that you are calling yourself Akemi.” Sakura nodded, he continued. “I understand your predicament. I am told not to ask too many questions about the future, but if I can be of any assistance, please feel free to ask.”

“Thank you Hokage-sama, I’m not sure anyone but an Uchiha could help, and even then from what I know, even within the Uchiha the power I have questions about is rare, not that a single one would ever talk to me, secretive as they are.”

He looked down pensively, “You are quite correct that the Uchiha will not talk to you, and if the power you are talking about is as powerful as you say, the Uchiha of your time must be quite talented.” Sakura nodded, there was only one true Uchiha left in her lifetime and Sarada.

“Well she’s only half Uchiha, she shouldn’t have such abilities. I’m wondering if there was something in the environment or another jutsu that combined with her ability.”

“Where were you when it happened?”  She could see in his eyes that he was thinking hard on her situation.

“I had been told to train her in the Blood Caves to the east. Her friend came with us, they were sparring, I got caught in their crossfire, fell down a crevice then I awoke here. I assume her distress awakened her Mangekyo.” Sakura felt a wrench at her heart as she thought about her daughter.

“Her friend, does he possess special abilities? Maybe they unknowingly combined abilities.” He scratched at his chin.

Sakura sat back, the thought of Boruto and Sarada combining abilities hadn’t occurred to her yet. “Yes, he is quite special himself, a unique dojutsu and a special mark.” Sakura thought about Boruto’s abilities, could it be possible that his Jogun or his Karma mark have affected Sarada’s jutsu? She was in deep shit if that was the case, Boruto had abilities uniquely his, that had never existed before.

“Unique dojutsu? Outside of the Sharingan and the Byakugan?” The Hokage seemed curious.

“Yes, he is the only person to have ever awakened this dojutsu.” She sighed. “There’s nothing I can research when it comes to his powers, we barely know the extent of them now.” She felt a desperation settle in her heart.

“It seems you have quite a powerful generation of shinobi to look after.” He gave her a small smile.

She chuckled, it sounded a little forced to her ears, the irony she was stuck here because of their abilities. “You have no idea Sandaime. Each generation is surpassing the one before. They are leaving us behind.”

He laughed, “As it should be, but it puts you in a tough position. It maybe that they are the only ones that can bring you back to your own time.” He ended seriously.

Hearing it out loud from the Sandaime, the Professor, the Hokage that knew every jutsu, made her feel hopeless. “I can’t stay here, I want to go back home to my family. I need to go back to my time.” Sakura felt like crying.

He placed his hand on her shoulder in comfort. “Continue your research, try to find a solution. You have my support.” He spoke kindly to her.

“What will happen if it takes a long time?” Or forever? A thought she didn’t want to voice.

“We will talk about it then. Don’t lose hope in yourself or in your comrades to get you back.” He stood up.

She stood up with him and bowed, “Thank you Hokage-sama.” He left and she sank back into the bench, she brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around herself, she let silent tears fall from her face. All she could do was hope. She hoped Sarada and Boruto had gone to find their father’s or Kakashi, so that they could work together to get her back home quickly.

Sakura felt a presence nearby, she sniffled, she wiped her face, stood up, grabbed her notes and started to leave. She didn’t want to see anyone. Her exit was stopped by a white ANBU vest in front of her. She knew who it was without having to look up. “Please let me pass.” Her voice a whisper. She could feel tears threatening to spill, she wanted to get away quickly.

“I’m sorry for my behavior before.” Kakashi spoke softly, his voice apologetic.

She sobbed out, in her time he would have ruffled her hair or wrapped a comforting arm around her, but here, this Kakashi wouldn’t do that, this was not her Kakashi and the thought made her despair even more. “I need my sensei.” She whispered to herself. She leaned her forehead on his chest without thinking, she felt him stiffen and it made her cry harder.

“I’m sorry… I just..” She needed something he couldn’t give her. Sakura moved to turn away from him and flee but he softly held her to his chest, he was a stranger to her and she to him.

Kakashi stood rooted, he had no idea why he was suddenly comforting this crying woman. He didn’t like crying, he didn’t really want to be touching her, but he didn’t know what else to do. He had been on his way to the gardens to read without being disturbed but then he saw her taking to the Sandaime and knew that he had been wrong to mistrust her, Inoichi-sama had also trusted her. He shouldn’t have judged her just because he hadn’t seen her before, there were plenty of shinobi that went on long-term missions, he had no reason not to trust her now. He had only wanted to apologize, and yet here he was as she cried onto his chest.

“I’m sorry Kakashi.” She looked up at him and ran off.

Kakashi watched her leave, her emerald eyes stunned him, sparkling through tears, he thought he sensed a familiarity and a sense of disappointment from her. He stood confused. Itachi landed next to him.

“Who is she?” Itachi asked.

Kakashi shook his head, “I don’t know.”

“You should find out. There is something about her that troubles me.” Itachi looked off in the direction she disappeared to.

Kakashi looked at the young man with his serious face. “Because she can escape your Sharingan genjutsu?” Itachi remained silent. “She might be Root for all we know.” Kakashi thought out loud.

“Maybe Danzo sent her to watch us.” Itachi didn’t trust her still.

“For what purpose?” Kakashi couldn’t see an angle, Itachi was just being overly cautious as usual and was probably annoyed at her ability to negate his genjutsu. Itachi let out a sound of discontent and left.

Sakura had spent three weeks scouring the libraries, she had read every book on the Uchiha, space-time jutsus and teleportation jutsu’s and anything else that was relevant, and she had nothing. She knew the Hokage was right, she was stuck here until Boruto and Sarada brought her back. The Sandaime had summoned her, she appeared before him in his office.

“Akemi, how is your research coming along?” He put his hands up on his desk, his chin between his hands.

Sakura swallowed, her throat suddenly dry at having to actually say it out loud and accept it. “I fear that you are right Hokage-sama. I have to wait until they find a way to bring me back.” Her lips felt numb as the words left her mouth.

He nodded gravely, “I am sorry to hear that. What will be your next move?”

Sakura sighed, “Well I can’t keep living here without contributing to my village. I would like to be assigned missions.” She hadn’t been on active mission duty for a long time, having focused on the clinic, but it may be good for her to go out and travel, maybe she could learn new things to help her and gain a new perspective.

He nodded and pulled a sheet of paper and pen, “What are your skills?”

“I am a jonin level shinobi, I specialized as a medic, in taijutsu, I have enhanced strength with my chakra control. I am above average with shuriken, and I also have mastered poisons and antidotes.”

He quirked up the corner of his lips, “You sound like my student, Tsunade.”

Sakura grinned “But better.”

He chuckled, “That’s a bold statement.”

“We all must surpass our teachers.” She gave him a knowing smile.

He returned her smile and nodded. “Go to field eighty-five this afternoon. I would like to see you in action.”

“As you wish Hokage-sama.” She bowed and left as he dismissed her.

She arrived at the field early, she had been practicing on her own for the last week in the back of the mountains. She couldn’t sit reading anymore as the truth settled into her heart, she was tired of crying herself to sleep every night, she decided to get back into active duty and she needed to get back in shape. Sakura needed to put her faith in Boruto and Sarada to get her back home, she needed to make the best of the situation she had here.

She punched a boulder in front of her watching it disintegrate as she released her frustration. She heard an impressed whistle from behind her, she turned.

“Beautiful and strong, and with those gentle healing hands, are you trying to get me to fall in love with you Akemi or is that just an accident?” Genma smiled at her.

Sakura rolled her eyes and laughed, “Anyone every tell you that you’re cheeky Genma?”

“A time or two.” He grinned, his senbon still in his mouth.

“Why are you here?” She couldn’t help but let his upbeat attitude make her feel better.

“I’m here for the Hokage.” She saw the red robes approaching in the distance.

“Oh right, you’re one of his guards.” Raido was following the Hokage. She bowed when he was close enough. “Hokage-sama.” She greeted.

“Akemi, you will spar with Genma.” The Hokage smiled at them both.

They turned to each other, Sakura grinned. “Don’t worry Genma, I’ll heal you after.”

He chuckled. “If I win you have to go out with me for drinks tonight.”

Sakura blushed, “I couldn’t.”

“That’s the bet Akemi, you have to.” They walked towards the center of a cleared area.

“Ok, and if I win?” She conceded.

“Then I’ll treat you to drinks.” He winked.

She laughed, “That’s the same thing! You know what? I don’t care, fine, I’m going to need a drink tonight, might as well let you pay.”

They settled into a fighting stance and gave each other the hand sign of friendly sparring. “I’m already a winner.” Genma grinned.

They lunged at each other, she focused on evading all his attacks, he was a great taijutsu fighter, even she was having trouble keeping up. He had managed to land a few jabs and kicks as she landed a few of her own. She sidestepped his punches, flipped back when he kicked, he was fast. She could see why he was a guard to the Hokage. She blocked a punch he aimed for her chest. “I hope you’re not holding back Genma.” She grabbed his arm and threw him in the air, she jumped up and landed a kick on his side sending him flying into the ground.

He flipped in midair and landed on his feet in a crouch. He sent out a wave of kunai, she countered with her own. “Tschk, I’m not all looks either sweetheart.”

She landed on the ground, she saw him do a set of hand signs, put his fingers on the ground and the dirt under her feet turned to sand swallowing her feet. He did a new set of seals and two slabs of earth came up to surround her. She punched the slab in front of her with enough force to shatter it, sending the debris forward, she took advantage of the momentum to free herself from the sand by jumping back. She threw kunai and senbons mixed in with the debris hoping he wouldn’t stop them all. He released a few kunai to counter hers, then he noticed the senbon, he spit out the one on his mouth to counter those. One made it through and embedded itself into his leg, he dropped on his knee looking surprised. He quickly took out the senbon, in a flurry of his fingers he released another jutsu, a giant dragon made of earth came at her. Sakura channeled chakra into her feet and jumped toward the center of the beast, with a chakra laced punch the dragon fell apart. She landed on top of Genma, her knee on his chest ready to strike.

He smiled and put his hands up in defeat, “I give. You win.” They pressed their index and middle finger together as a sign of a match ending. His groaned in discomfort. “What did you put in that senbon?”

“Since this was a friendly match, I only dipped it in paralysis poison. For real battles I use something much deadlier.” Sakura grinned as she stood up, she offered him her hand that he took and lifted him up holding on to him as the paralysis spread through his leg.

He put his arm around her neck as she walked him to a large rock to sit. “You’re certainly special Akemi. Glad you’re on our side.”

Sakura smiled gratefully at him, “Well let’s take care of your leg.” She reached into her pouch and pulled out the antidote and injected it in the inside of his leg where his vein was. “Give it a few minutes.”

The Hokage came up to them, “Very good Akemi, I will start assigning you missions.” He smiled at her, then turned to Genma with a chuckle, “Come back when you get feeling in your leg.”

Genma flushed, “Hai Hokage-sama.”

“There’s no shame in defeat from a better shinobi, it’s how we grow.” The Sandaime smiled kindly at him before Raido and him left.

“I’m sorry about the poison.” She placed her hand on his leg flowing chakra to help the antidote work faster. She healed his bruises and a few scratches.

He chuckled, “I wouldn’t expect you to go easy on me. You are amazing.”

Sakura blushed at the compliment. She saw a cut across his cheek, she reached up to heal it. “I think you’re all done now.” She moved to take her hand back, but he grabbed it and kissed her knuckles.

“Thank you.” He gave her a warm smile.

She pulled her hand back gently, she thought of Sasuke, she was married still technically. “Genma you are very sweet and a very good flirt, but my heart belongs to another.”

He gave her an exaggerated gesture of heartbreak, “Well stab a kunai in my heart Akemi.” He smiled, stood up to test his leg. “Well we can still be friends, and I still owe you for drinks tonight.”

She giggled, “I’d like that.” They walked back towards the village together.

Sakura walked into the bar, she was wearing a pair of white shorts with a light green off the shoulder sweater. She sat down on a barstool since she hadn’t seen Genma when she walked in, she ordered herself a beer. She thought back of the last three weeks, she ached to be back with Sarada, and with Sasuke when he came home. He had been more frequent in his visits the last few years, it was starting to feel like she had a real family. Now she was suddenly ripped away from it all to be here surrounded by people she knew but were complete strangers to her.

She wondered when the last time she had come out to have drinks with friends, it had been a few weeks since she had gone out with Ino, Ten-Ten, Hinata and Temari before she had ended up here. Since she had arrived she had tried her best to avoid everyone, she had immersed herself into her research, she only left her apartment to go to the library and for food. She was severely lacking in some human companionship.

“Why the sad face Akemi?” Genma plopped himself down and dragged Kakashi down to the stool next to his. Sakura looked at them in surprise. “I found him being all lonely and moody with his nose in a book. So I brought him along since this isn’t a date.” Genma grinned.

Kakashi scoffed, “I wanted to be alone, I wasn’t lonely.”

“Whatever Kakashi, you need to interact with people every once in a while.” Genma smacked his back, much to Kakashi’s annoyance

Sakura smiled at them, “I didn’t know you were a drinker Kakashi?”

“I’m not.” He deadpanned, glaring daggers at Genma.

Genma laughed jovially “Oh come one, you need to loosen up Kakashi.” Genma ordered a round of drinks for all three as Sakura finished hers. Kakashi appeased his friend by ordering a beer while they ordered whiskey. Genma had them raise their glasses. “To new friends! Kampai!”

They all took a gulp of their drink, Sakura giggled, “I don’t think Kakashi has warmed up to me yet.”

Kakashi made a noise like he was about to choke, Genma laughed, “Nothing personal, Kakashi doesn’t like anyone that’s not in one of his books.” Kakashi chose to ignore him and went back to his drink.

“What are you reading now?” Sakura wanted for Kakashi to at least not hate her, especially since their last interaction, she was still embarrassed.

Kakashi quirked his eye up and pulled out a book to hand to her, she took it and read the title _The Mask of Death_ she looked at the dark cover, it was one of those action and gore books, she was surprised. “It’s not Icha Icha.” She stated as she handed it back.

He jerked his head in confusion, “Icha Icha?”

Sakura laughed, “Sorry you just seem like the romance type.”

Kakashi gave her a blank stare as Genma started laughing, “Kakashi is not the romance type.”

Sakura blushed, she hadn’t meant to put Kakashi on the spot, but she had only every seen Icha Icha in his hand, hard to think of him reading anything else. “Sorry, I didn’t mean… I just meant that I think you would like Icha Icha, if you were to give it a chance.”

Kakashi nodded, “It was written by Master Jiraya.” She nodded, he gave her a quick nod and went back to his drink.

Soon Genma was challenging Sakura to a drinking contest when he noticed she could keep up with him.

“You can’t out drink me Genma. I was trained by the best.” She smirked and could have sworn she saw Kakashi smile. Genma called for a row of shots for them, she rolled her eyes. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’re about to get your ass handed to you twice in one day Genma.”

He scoffed, “Big talk for such a little lady.” He grinned.

Sakura shrugged “Your funeral.” She matched him shot for shot. Kakashi sat back watching until Genma fell off his chair. “Shannaro!” She slammed the last shot glass down on the table. She felt flushed but still able to stand, she giggled as Genma tried to pull himself up. She got down, wobbled a little before she composed herself and helped him up.

“You are something else Akemi.” He slurred as he laid his head on the bar.

“Oh no you don’t, you need to get home.” She pulled him up slinging his arm over her shoulders. “Stay with me, where do you live?” He mumbled something but she couldn’t understand him.

Kakashi reach for his other side and helped her hold him up. “I know where he lives. I’ll take him home.”

Sakura wobbled again as her load was lightened. “Oh thanks Kakashi, I can carry him home, you don’t have to, I know you didn’t even want to be here let alone deal with his drunkenness.”

He looked at her, she was clearly drunk, not as bad as Genma but still, he couldn’t leave her alone. “We can both take him home and then I’ll walk you home.”

Sakura blushed, she liked him being nice to her, it reminded her of the Kakashi she knew. She nodded, “Ok, sounds like a plan.”

They both held Genma between them as they walked him home. Genma lived in one of the nicer apartment complexes, he had a very spacious one-bedroom apartment that he kept very clean. Kakashi took him to his room leaving Sakura to admire the rest of the space.  Kakashi walked back, “This is nice.” She was impressed.

Kakashi nodded, “Guards get paid well.”

They left and started walking down the dark Konoha streets. She breathed in the cool night air, she felt warm and felt a lightness she hadn’t felt since she had arrived here.  Sakura knew the feeling was false, but she embraced it anyways, at least for the temporary relief it offered for the sorrow that she felt more and more lately.

Kakashi watched her as they walked in silence, she had a small smile on her lips but he could see the sadness in her eyes. He thought back to that day she cried on his chest, she had her own sorrows. He could see the way her shoulder slumped at the weight she carried on her own. He wondered what had caused her to feel so heavy, but he also admired the way she still tried to smile even if it was forced. He wished he could do that, smile through the darkness. She tripped on a rock, he was at her side in a flash holding her up, she laughed.

“I’m sorry Kakashi, I think it’s finally hitting me.” She giggled.

“Well you did drink a lot. I’ve never seen anyone outdrink Genma.” He held her around her waist. The light breeze brought her scent to him, she smelled of a summer rain, and of something sweet like watermelons.

Sakura righted herself and stood on her own. “My shishou liked to gamble and drink, I learned a few things.” She laughed and kept walking, she was more careful with her steps now. Sakura was conscious of his presence next to her, she felt a small sense of comfort that she was familiar with. They reached her building and walked to her door. She turned to him before she opened the door. “How did you know where I live?”

“Hmm? I just followed you.” He watched her as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.

Sakura blushed, she had been walking ahead of him, of course he was following her, “Oh, well thank you for walking me home.”

“Try not to let Genma goad you into another drinking contest.” He advised.

She laughed softly “I could have metabolized it, but that’s cheating, and now it would be a waste of a good buzz especially since it takes so much for me to get drunk.”

Kakashi chuckled, Sakura was surprised at how nice it felt to hear him laugh. “You can metabolize the alcohol? You’re full of surprises Akemi.”

Without thinking she took his hand and gave him a chaste kiss on his masked cheek, like she had done so many times before. “Well thank you again.”

He stood frozen in surprise, other than Gai, no one had ever dared to come so close to him, at least since Rin, especially with his reputation. He felt his face warm up, he nodded stiffly, “You’re welcome.” He started walking away and turned back, “By the way, I live upstairs.”

Sakura scoffed, “Of course you do.” She opened the door, “Good night Kakashi.”

“Good night Akemi.” She closed the door softly, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked up to his apartment.

Sakura woke up with a massive headache. She flowed chakra through her body to clear it of toxins, she gulped down what felt like a gallon of water. She took a shower and threw on some lounge shorts and a tank top, she wanted to relax. She heard a knock on her door, she was surprised, she didn’t get visitors, maybe it was a summons. She went to open it and was amazed to see Kakashi and Genma at her door.

“We brought breakfast and my famous hangover cure.” Genma held up a bag and a bottle of a very distasteful looking green liquid.

She grinned and opened the door to let them in. “Oh thanks!” She smiled at them as she went to get plates and make more coffee.

Genma sunk into a chair, Kakashi went into the kitchen to help her with bringing out the plates. Genma groaned in discomfort, “How are you functioning?” He took a sip of his drink and grimaced. “I barely managed to get up today.”

Sakura giggled and went up to him, she put her fingers on his temples and cleared his body of the remaining pollutants. He moaned in relief as his hangover disappeared leaving him feeling refreshed. She could see Kakashi smirk. Genma pushed aside his drink. “Well this can go in the trash, it taste’s like shit anyways.” They laughed, Kakashi shrugged and they settled down to have breakfast.

They joked and teased each other, Kakashi was mostly silent, when they finished they cleaned up. “Thank you for breakfast.” Sakura was grateful for not having to make her own breakfast.

Kakashi shrugged, “Thank Genma, I was just walking out when he was walking in and he dragged me along.”

“Well thanks for coming along and thank you Genma for the food. I appreciate it.” She gave them both a grateful smile.

“Well you just literally saved my life by helping me with my hangover, so no worries.” He gave her one of his charming smiles. He really was quite handsome.  “Anyways, I have to go, I’ll see you around Akemi.” Genma waived at her

Kakashi followed, “I have to go too.”

Sakura waived at them both, she smiled to herself as they left. She had inadvertently made friends it seemed, and the knowledge made her feel a little better about her situation. At least she didn’t feel so alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter, thank you so much for your support, every review made it easier to come back to this story, you keep me motivated with your words, so thank you very much!

The summer nights in Konoha were uncomfortable to say the least. Kakashi was trying to sleep in his boxers with the fan on but so far was unsuccessful. He groaned, he stood up and went to the refrigerator for a glass of cold water. He sighed as the cold air hit his skin, he gulped down the water hoping to cool himself, it didn’t really help. He threw on a tank top with a mask and walked out to his balcony hoping there was at least a breeze. He glanced down to Sakura’s balcony, he saw the light was still on. He wondered what she was doing in the middle of the night, she was probably having a hard time sleeping as well.

Sakura had her knees pulled up letting tears fall down her cheeks, her notebooks and books were strewn around the floor. She knew she needed to have hope but every day was harder than the one before. She missed her family and her friends, she missed them with such desperation that every night she looked over her notes trying to find something she missed and ended up crying when she didn’t see anything. There were jutsus for traveling dimensions, jutsus for body switches, for youth but none that fit her exact specifications. She wiped her face, got up to pick up the books and put them away. She walked up to the window and looked up at the crescent moon, she wondered how Sarada and Sasuke were doing and if they were working on getting her home.

Kakashi could see her through the window and noticed her wipe her face. He sighed, she had been crying again. Every night he would glance at her she was crying, he remembered her glistening emerald eyes that day at the rooftop gardens, he couldn’t deny how captivating her eyes were, even in sadness, maybe especially in sadness. He wondered who she had lost that brought her such distress. He wondered if she was just like him. He never saw her with anyone, other than Genma and himself, she always stayed away from others, when he saw her in the market she always walked with her head down, hardly talking to anyone, but he once he saw a flash of pain cross her face when she saw a group of teenage girls, especially towards one that had black hair. He wondered if she had lost a sister or someone else close to her. He supposed he could try to talk to her, but she seemed to value her privacy, she never talked about her private life with him and Genma, and to be honest, he didn’t want to talk about himself either.

The night had been so hot and humid that throughout the night Sakura had taken off her top and was sleeping in only her panties. The fan was on, but it just circulated the hot air, she wished air conditioning had been invented in this time. The heat made her sleep restless, she had finally fallen deep asleep in the early hours of the morning when the temperature was lowest. From her deep sleep she heard a tapping sound, she groaned not wanting to wake up, she had finally been sleeping. She heard her name being called, she sat up slowly, still groggy. “What?” She rasped out through the irritation of her sleep being interrupted. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She heard a small cough coming from her open window.

“Um, Akemi…”

Sakura had a moment of confusion wondering who Akemi was before she remembered, she turned back to the window and saw Genma averting his eyes, his face a deep shade of red. She looked down at herself and realized she had kicked off the sheets sometime in the night, she realized he had seen her topless. She screamed.

Kakashi was finishing his cup of coffee when he heard a blood curling screech, he jumped out of his window and found the source of the sound. He jumped down to see if she was all right, his sharingan ready. He caught a glimpse of her before she managed to pull up a sheet to cover herself.

“Fucken pervert! Why didn’t you use the front door?” She screamed, Genma was trying to apologize.

“I didn’t mean…” His eyes glanced down to her chest without thought, she roared, landed a punch in the center of his chest that sent him flying out the open window into the railing, denting the metal. Kakashi heard Genma grunt and a sick pop of a bone coming out of a socket.

Sakura caught sight of Kakashi, “What? You here for the show too?” Her fist was clenched, anger overtaking her embarrassment.

Kakashi looked over at Genma, “I don’t know what’s going on, but it sounded like his shoulder is dislocated and his breathing isn’t sounding too well.”

She huffed, “Well he fucken deserves it.” She walked over to her shirt and picked it off from the floor. “Well shit, bring him in. Put him on the bed, I’ll heal him.”

Kakashi leaned over to Genma’s hunched form, picked him up hearing a grunt of pain and laid him on her bed. With her back to him she slipped on her shirt, he glanced at her bare back and the dips of her curves. She was muttering to herself but she walked over to Genma, his breathing was ragged. She hadn’t bothered with putting on shorts needing to take care of Genma’s injuries quickly, she kneeled on the bed next to him. Kakashi watched as her perfectly manicured hands glowed green and held them over Genma’s chest, he couldn’t stop his eyes from following the curves of her body.

Sakura checked the damage, he had a few fractured ribs and his shoulder had indeed been dislocated. “Damn, I guess I put a little too much into that punch.” She formed a white chakra ball between her hands and pressed it into his chest to heal his fractures, she even helped to alleviate his pain. She then sat him up and put his shoulder back in place following it with more chakra.

“Is this the only way I’ll ever end up in your bed?” Genma joked halfheartedly.

Sakura scoffed, “Next time use the fucken front door.”

“You certainly are beautiful Akemi.” Genma muttered.

“I swear Genma, next time I won’t leave anything left to heal.” Sakura threatened.

“It’s worth it.” He grinned through the pain.

“I’m warning you Genma…” She growled. He laughed as he grimaced. “Why are you even here?” She finished and sat back.

“Summons, for you and Kakashi.” Genma tested his shoulder, wincing.

“You’re going to be fine, I even helped with the pain, not that you deserve it.” She looked back at Kakashi, he was leaning on the wall adjusting his headband. “Well get out so I can change then. Both of you.”

Both of them walked out to the hallway to wait for her, Genma rubbed his chest, “Gods that woman sure has one hell of a punch.”

Kakashi made a noise of agreement. “You always had a thing for the dangerous ones.”

Genma chuckled, “What’s life without a little danger, and she’s dangerous. Don’t tell me you didn’t look at her.”

Kakashi made a non-comital noise, “I’m not like you.”

Genma scoffed, “Don’t pretend, even your cold blood warmed up, admit it.”

Kakashi leaned against the wall, “I’m certainly not wanting to be on the receiving end of her fist. Next time she won’t be so lenient.”

“Whatever man, someday you’re going to find a woman that’s going to knock the air out of you. It will feel like a punch to the gut and you won’t even be expecting it.” Genma pulled out a senbon and put it back in his mouth to chew on.

Kakashi hadn’t meant to see her in that state of undress, but he couldn’t deny that Genma was right, she certainly was beautiful. With his sharingan activated even if he only saw it for a fraction of a second, her milky skin was seared into his mind. He thought of her eyes, one moment wet with tears and another glowing with anger, he wondered what else those eyes could show him. Kakashi was shaken from his thoughts as Genma asked him something he didn’t hear. “Hmm?”

“I said, I wonder who the mystery guy is that holds her heart. Any ideas?” Genma’s voice full of curiosity.

Kakashi shrugged. “No idea. It’s not our business.”

They both straightened up as they heard the door open and Sakura walked out. She was in her summer uniform, a red crop top with white trim, black shorts with red skirted panels, her pouches around her waist and her knee high sandals. She had put her hair up in a ponytail letting her bangs frame her face. She was still irritated, but both of them forgot how to breath for a moment. They followed her out.

Sakura couldn’t help but smile as she noticed how both men looked at her. It felt good to feel like a desirable woman. Growing up she had been teased about her looks, and when she felt she had finally filled in she was married to Sasuke, she never had anyone look at her like Genma did, and she thought she saw a small glimpse of a blush from Kakashi. Next to Ino, Sakura had never received much attention for her looks, but now, it felt nice. She also felt slightly guilty about the fact that she was a married woman, but still, it gave her a bit of confidence that two attractive men found her attractive too. She blinked, she just said two, she thought Kakashi was also attractive. When did that happen? He was her sensei, she wasn’t supposed to be thinking like that. Well here he wasn’t her sensei, they were equals, even if mentally she was thirty-five, well it seems that this time she was older, but in the body of a twenty-year old. This was too much to think about. Yet she couldn’t deny even through the mask he had a strong jaw and an elegant nose, and from all the times she had healed him she knew he had well defined muscles. Might as well be honest they were both very attractive men.

They were walking to Hokage Tower, she turned to Genma, “You owe me anmitsu, for a month.”

He nodded, “Yeah sure anything. I really am sorry Akemi-chan.”

“And next time use the front door.” She snapped.

“I promise.” He put his hand to his heart.

“And you why did you show up?” Sakura turned to Kakashi.

He gave her a blank stare back. “I heard a scream, I thought you needed help, but it seems you’re more than capable of handling yourself.”

Sakura sighed, Kakashi was as emotionless as ever. She was used to his eyes smiling at her. Well she couldn’t stay mad at them. They arrived at the Hokage’s office, they all kneeled waiting for orders.

“There is a special mission that I will be assigning to you three.” The Hokage looked at them with very serious eyes. “A family member of the Daimyo has been poisoned, Akemi, you are to heal them, because this is a diplomatic mission I will be adding my most skilled ANBU captain and one of my own guard for protection. I need you to arrive quickly which is why I am not assigning a fourth to your cell. Please leave at once as time is of the essence.”

They all nodded as they took their mission dossier from the Hokage’s assistant. They all responded with the affirmation they understood their mission and left to get a pack ready, Kakashi had switched out of his ANBU uniform and had on his jonin blues without the vest, with the skirted panels and his sword strapped to his back. They met back at the gates within fifteen minutes and took off through the trees. Sakura was between them, Genma leading them and Kakashi at the rear. This was her first mission in a very long time and she was excited to get out and show everyone what she was capable of. Both men were serious and quiet as they all sprinted through the forest, they were making good time. At dusk, they slowed down, normally they would make camp.

“We can’t stop, if we keep going we can make it by morning. I don’t know what kind of poison it is and how quickly it works, I need to get there as quickly as possible.” Sakura instructed them. They both nodded.

“Well let’s take a quick break and we’ll continue.” Genma advised.

“Fine, fifteen minutes.” Sakura agreed, they could eat some food pills and take care of other needs. After they finished their break she looked at both of them, “Ready to go?”

“Yes taicho.” Genma grinned.

Sakura rolled her eyes and they all jumped back into the trees in formation. She watched them for any signs of fatigue, but they seemed to be keeping up well, she didn’t doubt that they could, but as a medic she couldn’t help but worry about them. Then she felt a prickle in the air, she stiffened, “Something is wrong.” She informed them, they both nodded having felt the same ominous air. They both were now in front of her as they kept moving on the ground. Then she noticed it, as Genma stepped forward she felt a genjutsu go up, she immediately released herself from it and saw that Genma was stepping on a paper bomb. She quickly yanked them both back, kicked up a slab of earth and kicked it forward to protect them from the explosions. “Kakashi wall!” She ordered, and in an instant they were behind his mud wall hunched over as multiple explosions went off on the other side.

Sakura felt herself being pulled into a body and kunai landing where her head used to be. She realized Genma had pulled her into his chest. Kakashi had moved in an instant, she heard the chirping of his Raikiri, a grunt and a body slumping to the floor. She breathed, Genma was still holding her, she could feel his heart beating frantically, and then she noticed his smell, like oranges and something spicy and earthy. She stood up and pulled him up with her, both with kunai in their hands.

“There must be more around.” Kakashi walked back. “You just saved our lives. We didn’t notice the genjutsu trap until it was too late, but you reacted quickly.” Kakashi was impressed.

“Yes well, I’m good at recognizing and breaking genjutsu, though I never trained in it. We need to keep moving but stay on alert. Looks like someone is trying to stop us.” Sakura checked her packs to make sure everything was still there. She looked back at them, “Are you both all right?”

Kakashi nodded, Genma sighed, “Yes, thanks to you.”

“All right, let’s go.” They took off again. Kakashi left his sharingan uncovered.

They continued on for about an hour before they all felt the threat in the air again. Soon they were surrounded, Kakashi counted quickly, there were nine rogue shinobi. He noticed Akemi grin as she put on her gloves, they all moved into a circle their backs to each other. He wondered what she could be grinning about.

“There’s nine of you guys, that’s considerate, three for each of us.” Sakura taunted the shinobi that surrounded them. Genma scoffed, Kakashi gripped his kunai tighter. Sakura spoke under her breath, “Jump up. Now.”

They heard her and moved in a flash, she slammed her fist on the ground, earth surrounded her, debris shooting forward catching the circle of shinobi by surprise. Some of them were propelled back by the larger chunks of earth, Kakashi and Genma released kunai and senbon and took down a few more. One charged at Sakura, she countered his punches and kicks, she noticed from the side of her vision that Genma and Kakashi were also in hand to hand combat. Her opponent was slow, she quickly found an opening sending him flying with a kick to his chest, he collapsed against a tree, his chest caved in.

Kakashi saw as Akemi finish with her opponent and move on to the next, she moved like a panther as she locked on to her next prey, he pulled out his sword and with an arc his dispatched his own, Genma took down his and they all moved on until there were none left. They all met back at the center of their destruction and breathed out, catching their breath. When they were certain they were safe they turned to each other Akemi and Genma smiled as Kakashi wiped his sword free of blood.

Sakura felt good, it had been a long time since she had been in a fight, she felt blood rushing in her ears, she watched the two men breathing hard. She took off her gloves and shoved them into a pouch. “Any injuries?” She asked them. They took inventory of their bodies and shook their heads. Kakashi stepped forward to her.

“You have blood on your face.” He pointed to her cheek. She wiped at it, “You just smeared it. Here.” He closed the distance, pulled out a handkerchief and wiped it for her, seeing her creamy skin under the crimson as he cleaned it off.

Sakura could feel his warm fingers on her skin, “Thank you.”

“We need to keep moving, these guys slowed us down.” Genma stretched.

Sakura glimpsed his defined stomach as his shirt rode up. She shook herself mentally, it was the adrenaline she reminded herself, she needed to focus. “Yes, let’s keep going. Are you both doing well with chakra?”

“I’ve used up quite a lot but I can keep going.” Kakashi answered as he brought his headband down on his left eye.

“Same.” Genma repeated.

“Come here.” She reached out a hand to each of them. They came up to her and took a hand each, her diamond mark on her forehead glowed softly as she gave them both chakra. “That should help.”

“How did you do that?” Genma was awestruck.

“Its my own jutsu. I need you both at a hundred percent to protect me.” She took back her hands from them both, she couldn’t help but notice how warm they both were, Kakashi had long slim fingers and Genma had rough strong hands.

“You don’t need protection.” Genma laughed, “I saw the way you took down half of them by yourself.”

“Yes well, you’re supposed to protect the medicnin.” She readjusted her ponytail.

“You’re no ordinary medicnin.” Kakashi put his sword back in its scabbard.

“That is true.” She smirked.

“Aren’t medics supposed to stay in the back? We were your back up on this one.” Genma smiled.

“Let’s go.” She grinned and took off.

The reached the Daimyo’s house by morning without any further incidents. Sakura was quickly taken to her patient as Kakashi and Genma went to look after security. Her patient was a young woman, the Daimyo’s cousin, she had been poisoned as retaliation for a rejected marriage proposal. The story according to a maid, was that a nobleman wanted her hand in marriage, but the Daimyo didn’t agree to the match due to unsavory rumors about the nobleman. The nobleman then sent roguenin to poison her. Sakura guessed they were the same shinobi that had tried to stop them on their way here. Sakura had been told the maids were at her disposal. She ordered them to get her bowls and water, towels and a table to set up her lab. She extracted the poison, so she could analyze it and make an antidote. It was late afternoon when Sakura had finished with the antidote and administered it. She checked her vital signs and when she was satisfied the young woman was going to make it Sakura left to find food.

Kakashi was waiting for Akemi to come out of the room, they hadn’t slept in over thirty hours, and she hadn’t eaten anything yet. When she emerged she gave him a tired smile, her mission was complete. “Let’s get you something to eat, then you can go rest.” She nodded as she followed him

Kakashi led her to the kitchen where the maids made her a plate of food. She scarfed it all down, she was starving, her chakra reserves running low. “That was delicious, thank you.” She told the cook as they took her plate away. She turned to Kakashi, who had been sitting beside her reading as she ate. She looked at the familiar orange book in his hands. She smiled, “How do you like it?” He looked up, she pointed to the book.

He nodded, “It’s good.”

Sakura giggled, “Glad you like it.”

“I’m surprised you have read them.” He closed the book and put it back in his pouch.

Sakura blushed, “No I actually have never read them.”

“Then why did you recommend a book you have never read?” He tilted his head questioningly.

Sakura laughed sheepishly, “Call it a hunch. Anyways, I need to clean up before I rest.”

They stood up, she followed Kakashi to the room they were staying in. Her pack had been already brought in, he pointed her to the bathroom and left her so he could go check on Genma. Sakura turned on the hot water, letting it wash away all the grime, she washed her hair and then just stood under the hot spray to alleviate her tired muscles. When she was done, she put on a pair of sleeping shorts and tank top and walked out. Kakashi and Genma had already claimed their mats, Kakashi was close to the door and Genma next to the window making sure she was the farthest away from danger.

They took turns showering after her and settled in for the night. Sakura noticed that Genma slept in shorts without a shirt, and Kakashi in pants and a tight tank top with his mask in place. She was grateful that there were fans in the room and that the house was cool, she fell asleep quickly. She dreamed of Sarada and Sasuke, she dreamed of them being together, the happy family she had always wanted. She woke up to tears silently falling down her face. She looked over at the two sleeping forms in the room, she got up quietly, stepped over Genma, slid out the window and jumped up to the roof. She looked up at the half moon and watched the stars. Soon enough she felt someone join her on the roof, she looked over and saw Genma, he had thrown on a shirt, his hair falling around his face.

“Are you ok? You should be resting, you have done the most work out of all of us.” He was concerned for her.

Sakura gave him a smile, “Yeah, it was just hot and I couldn’t sleep.”

He gently lifted her chin with his fingers so he could see her face. “You were crying, why?”

Sakura turned her head away from him, “It was just a bad dream.”

Genma wasn’t convinced, “Want to talk about it?”

Sakura looked down at the tiled roof, she couldn’t tell him the truth, how much she missed her family and wanted to get back to them. “I was just dreaming of people that I miss.” That was close enough to the truth.

“Are they gone?” He asked softly.

She thought about his question, it wasn’t that they were gone, more that she had been taken from them, but she couldn’t say that. “They are not here.” That was also the truth.

Genma nodded, “I’m sorry.” He said gently.

She brought her knees up, hugging herself and let a few tears fall. “I miss them so much.” She whispered.

“Who were they?” He wondered if she would answer him, he knew nothing about her life.

 _My husband and daughter_ she thought, “My family.” Is what she settled on, it was a vague answer, he could assume siblings and parents.

Genma sighed sadly, “How recently?”

“Not long ago, its why I was came to the village.” She needed to end this conversation, she didn’t want to kept telling lies and the more she talked about it the more her heart clenched. She stood up, “I guess I should go back to sleep.”

Genma stood up and reached for her hand, “If you need a friend, I’m here.”

Sakura nodded as she wiped her tears away. “Thank you.”

Kakashi pretended to be asleep as they came back in. Both him and Genma had noticed her leave, Genma had asked him what she was doing, Kakashi had shrugged and let Genma follow her out. Genma was better at talking than he was, but it didn’t escape Kakashi that she had a trail of tears down her cheeks.

The next day, Sakura went to check on her patient, she was doing well and was awake. She gave the maids instructions on what to feed her and left them with herbs to make into teas for her recovery. They departed satisfied there was nothing more for Sakura to do. On the way back, they took their time and stopped to set up camp at dusk. For dinner, Kakashi caught rabbits that Genma prepared as she set up the fire. She also had a few vegetables that had been given to her by the cook before they left.

As they settled in to sleep, Sakura took first watch. She watched the dark sky and listened to the soft sounds of the night. She felt that familiar wrench in her heart, she shook her head, no, she didn’t want to cry anymore, she could miss them but no more tears. She was sitting on a tree branch a little away from Genma and Kakashi but within her sight. She reminded herself that she wasn’t alone, she had friends, it wasn’t her family, but it wasn’t so bad. Yet, it wasn’t enough. She wanted to hold her daughter, she wanted to feel Sasuke under her hands. She blushed at the thought, Sasuke was very sparse with his affections, but when they were alone at night, he was different, he was loving and attentive. She felt a shiver go down her neck at the memory of his lips on hers, on how he nibbled her neck, and caressed her curves, she missed how he tasted, like peaches and cinnamon, sweet and spicy. She sighed, now she missed him for a very different reason. She jumped down and moved a little farther away, but within a safe distance to keep an sense anything happening around the two men sleeping, she needed to work out some frustrations.

Sakura practiced different movements, punches and kicks, she imagined an opponent as she moved, how she would duck and dodge. She was working up a sweat, the air still hot and humid, not only was she feeling a heat in her stomach but now she just felt hot in general. She heard a rustling behind her and threw a kunai in that direction. It was deflected and Kakashi came out of the trees, she sighed in relief.

“Sorry, I didn’t know it was you.” Sakura apologized.

“Better safe than sorry.” Kakashi picked up her kunai and handed it back to her. “Got restless?” She nodded, “Some of those moves remind me of another shinobi. Did you train in the Strong Fist Style?”

Sakura thought back to her sparring with Rock Lee, she had indeed picked things up from him. “Not really, I just picked things up here and there.”

“Well I’m here to relieve you if you want to rest.” Kakashi started to walk back.

“Wait, I still have a little too much energy to rest, will you spar with me?” Sakura thought back to the times he would practice her taijutsu with her.

He turned back and nodded. They squared off and made the hand sign, she knew his moves, she knew how he fought, he was her sensei after all. She knew that his style was to attack and hers was evasion, which made it good practice for both of them. What she didn’t expect was that this Kakashi was more ruthless in his attacks, he didn’t pull punches, not that he ever did, but it was like he was going for a kill shot. Their attacks became more vicious, every contact stinging. This wasn’t the usual student sparing session she was used to, Kakashi was treating her like an enemy and it was throwing her of balance. He managed to grab her wrist, he pulled her into him and twisted her arm behind her as he put his arm around her neck in a choke hold. She grunted at the pain. She was breathing hard, she noticed that he was as well, his chest pressed against her back, his breath tickling her neck.

“You’re good.” Kakashi whispered into her ear, he held her longer than he meant to, her hair in his face, he could smell her sweet scent. He could see her chest heaving with every gasp for air, a glimpse of what was underneath her clothes flashed across his mind. He let her go and stepped back. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” He noticed her rub her neck.

She smiled, slightly embarrassed, “No, it was just more than I expected I guess, but I shouldn’t be surprised, you are the Great Copy Ninja after all. I’ll have to try harder next time.”

He nodded stiffly, he watched her flushed face, sweat dripping down her neck down her chest, he blinked and rid his head of those thoughts. “You should rest now.”

Sakura could sense he was pulling back from her, she had sensed something different from him when he had whispered in her ear, something she had never felt from him before, and now he was withdrawing again. She knew that he had dark times in his life before Team Seven but it wasn’t until now in their sparring session that she realized how much darkness was in his heart. “I’m just going to clean up at the river first.”

She didn’t wait for his acknowledgement and headed for the river. She took off her sandals and stepped into the cool water, she breathed out as she cooled down. She kneeled down on the shallow end splashed water on her face and arms. She took out a hand towel, soaked it in the water and pressed it against the back of her neck. She thought of the way Kakashi had whispered and how it had sent a dark delicious shiver down her back. She had been hoping to release her frustrations with exercise not make them worse, especially not with another man, especially when that man was Kakashi.

The next morning Genma woke her up, he had breakfast ready. They ate, packed up camp and started walking. They arrived in Konoha sometime around mid-afternoon. They went straight to the Hokage to give their report.

“Thank you for another successful mission. I expect a written report by the end of the week. You may go rest now.” He smiled kindly at them, they all bowed and left.

They were walking down the street when they passed a dango shop, Kakashi heard a familiar voice call for him. He turned to waive at Gai hoping that would placate him, it didn’t, he was inviting them for dinner. Genma started walking towards the shop to Gai, Asuma and Kuranai.

“I have to go.” Sakura quickly disappeared. She didn’t want to spend time with too many people in this time, she didn’t want them to have too many memories of her.

Kakashi stood surprised, Gai came up to him, placed and arm around his shoulder and pulled him into the shop. “Who was the pink haired woman?” Gai asked as they sat down.

Genma looked around, confused at her sudden disappearance. “Ah, she’s a very shy shinobi. Skittish as a cat that on is. We just came back from a mission with her. Too bad she didn’t stick around, she’s something special.”

“Oh had Genma found his next woman?” Asuma teased.

“It’s not like that.” Genma flushed, “She loves someone else, she’s just impressive. Right Kakashi?”

Kakashi made a small sound of agreement.

“Oh what makes her impressive?” Kurenai asked as she took a bite of her dango.

“She’s a medic, but crazy strong. She saved our life out there and took down about five shinobis all by herself in a battle, not to even mention she’s the best healer I have ever seen.” Genma ordered his own dango, Kakashi didn’t.

“That is impressive. She has the power of youth!” Gai beamed.

Kakashi rolled his eye, he stood up. “I have to get going. See you later.”

“But you didn’t eat anything!” Gai whined.

“I told you I don’t like sweets.” He walked out and headed home. He may not like sweets, but there was a certain sweet fragrance that was cloyingly sticking to his nose, and he found he didn’t mind it.

Sakura arrived home, she stripped off her clothes and turned on the shower. She put her hair up, not wanting to get it wet, the water felt good against her skin, she gave herself a good scrub until her skin was pink and clean. She stepped out, dried herself off and wrapped a towel around herself. She glanced at the mirror, she looked into her own jade eyes, she could see all the years of her true age in them, but as she looked at her face, it was younger than she was used to, she dropped the towel and looked at herself. Her breasts were perky and round, modest in size, she always thought they were the perfect size for her body, her stomach was flat with a light definition to her muscles. Her hips flared giving her a small waist and a nice swell of a backside and toned thighs. This is what she looked like when she had married Sasuke, when they had made love for the first time. She still felt that aching heat in her stomach. She bent down to pick up the towel and went out to her dresser.

She pulled on a pair of panties and a tank top and fell on her bed. Her hands on her belly trying to calm it. Flashes of moments came to her mind, Sasuke’s kisses, his touches, the way he felt inside of her. She felt her inner walls clench at emptiness, she whimpered at the lack of satisfaction. She was used to pleasing herself, Sasuke being gone so much, but the times they were together, she never wanted it to end. She felt her breasts becoming sensitive, yearning to be touched. She moved her hands under her shirt until she reached her mounds. She moaned out as she massaged them, squeezing them, plucking at her nipples until they were hard. She imagined Sasuke doing it, he would latch on to one nipple with his mouth and tease the other with his hand until she begged for more. She thought of his mismatched eyes looking at her full of lust, the way he smirked when she begged, she pinched her nipples harder.

Sakura moved her hand down her stomach slowly, just like Sasuke would, he liked to take his time, getting reacquainted with every inch of her body. She reached the edge of her panties and moved down to softly stroke her mound over the cotton fabric, just like he did. She sighed as she felt her fingers relieve a little tension. She pressed down harder her slit, she bit her bottom lip as her fingers ghosted over her pearl. She brought up a memory of his head between her legs, she slipped her fingers under her panties and felt her own slickness coat her fingers. She jerked as she stroked her sensitive clit, she thought of his tongue, and what he would do to her. She felt the heat start spreading as her fingers circled her button. She was breathing hard, moaning softly, Sasuke’s name escaping her lips, with her other hand she plunged in two fingers into her dripping heat. She arched off the bed, she wished it was him filling her, his thickness deep inside of her.

Sakura kept moving her fingers as she kept thinking of how Sasuke pleased her, she wanted to wrap her fingers in his dark hair, she thought of the way he breathed when he pumped himself into her, the way he held her, his demanding kisses as he drove her to her orgasm. She felt herself getting close to releasing the energy inside of her, she focused on the way Sasuke would twitch as he came inside of her, the hot pressure of his release, and the look of pure ecstasy on his face as he cried out her name. She felt herself let go of what little control she had left and let the fire overtake her, her fingers still stroking her making it last as long as possible, she moaned out as the waves rolled through her. She pulled out her fingers and wiped them on her panties. She stared at the ceiling as she caught her breath. Gods she missed him so very much, but this wasn’t much different than usual, she still had no idea when she would see him again, only this time she was farther from him than she had ever been.

Sakura was walking through the forest, her destination was the Blood Cave, she knew she couldn’t enter without a sharingan but she didn’t want to be in the village today, she couldn’t deal with seeing the village full of people she almost knew, but didn’t know anything about, so she decided to go the cave where her adventure had started. Maybe she would find clues. She reached the entrance, it was on the side of the mountain, the entrance was hidden, it looked like the mountainside. She went up to touch it and it was solid under her fingers, if Sasuke hadn’t given her directions she would have never had found it. The key to opening it was the sharingan, Sarada had opened it the last time but this time she had no one.

Sasuke had explained to her that the caves were a secret training grounds for Uchiha’s, it was only called the Blood Cave because the inside would shine a bright red at dawn and dusk from the sun. The cave helped the Sharingan wielder to focus chakra better, it would aid in activating their special jutsu, especially in Uchiha’s that weren’t pure-blood, like Sarada. Boruto had tagged along because he wanted to see if it helped him with his Jogan.

Sakura sighed as she walked away from the entrance, she didn’t know why she had come here knowing she was never going to be able to enter, but this was the last place she had seen her daughter and that brought a little comfort to her heart.

“What are you doing here?”

Sakura whipped around to the sound of the voice, she saw Itachi come out of the trees. She looked him over, he was about a year younger than Sarada was yet looked so burdened. She didn’t have the energy to deal with him. “I was just walking around, is that a problem?” She knew the cave was a secret and she could let Itachi believe that she was here by coincidence.

“You can quit lying to me. I know why you’re here, I saw you at the entrance, what I want to know is how you know so much about the Uchiha’s.” His eyes bore into her, he watched as her surprised look turned to resignation.

Sakura breathed out, he wasn’t going to let her go until he got a satisfactory answer from her. “I had a lover, he was an Uchiha, he told me a lot of the clan, even though he wasn’t supposed to. I’ve never shared that information, I promised him I wouldn’t.” As lies went, she hoped that was a good one. Parts of it were even true, just a change in context.

He stared at her, he could see the sadness in her eyes, but wasn’t convinced. “Who was he?”

Sakura wrapped her arms around herself, “It doesn’t matter anymore, he’s gone. I just… I just wanted to be reminded of him. He brought me here once, I came because…I don’t know, I guess I needed a good memory.” She glanced at him, his face impassive.

Itachi didn’t know whether to believe her or not, Kakashi had told him that she seemed the lonely type, the kind of loneliness that comes from loss. He chose to believe her, Kakashi seemed to have a positive opinion of her. He turned and started walking back up, “Come on.”

Sakura was surprised, she wondered what he was going to do but she followed him back the side of the mountain. She watched him as he activated his sharingan and the rocks moved allowing them entry. The cave was bright, there was an opening at the top that let the sunlight in, the cavern was spacious and at the far end was the crevice she had fallen down. She could feel Itachi’s gaze follow her as she walked around the cave.

“What do you know about this place?” Itachi asked.

“Not much really, just that it helps non-pure blood Sharingan holders with harnessing the power of the Sharingan. I don’t know how it works.” She looked at his midnight eyes, he nodded at her.

Itachi walked over to the side of the cave, the black obsidian wall shimmered crimson red as Itachi activated his dojutsu. “You are right, this isn’t a place a pure blooded Uchiha would come train.”

Sakura came up behind him. “What did you do right now?”

Itachi walked away without answering her, “We should go.”

Sakura bit her lip, she knew he wouldn’t answer her, he gave her more than she had ever expected by letting her in. She studied the wall, she remembered Sarada looking into that reflective surface, she reached out to touch it. She could feel the cold stone under her fingers. She didn’t know if she expected something to happen but nothing did, she walked away and followed Itachi out.

“Thank you for showing me.” She saw him nod his head in acknowledgement.

“You’re welcome.” He didn’t know why he had shown the cave to her, maybe because her eyes seemed so genuinely sad and he understood the feeling.

“Why did you show me?” Sakura was curious as to why he had shown her a little kindness, she had learned to recognize those moments from Sasuke, always small little moments that no one would notice, except for her.

“It seemed like you needed to see it.” He replied simply.

They walked halfway down the mountain together and he left her, saying he had things to do. She watched him as he jumped up to the trees. She walked to a waterfall she knew was nearby, she had brought a pack with lunch to spend the rest of the day outside, she was tired of being confined to her apartment. She picked a spot under the shade and ate slowly. It had been a little over a month now, a month in this new time and she felt like she was in limbo. She leaned back and watched the clouds go by, she wasn’t used to this amount of time to herself, she should probably train. She took out a bathing suit and changed, it was simple, a sports bra top and bikini bottoms, both in a solid black color. She knew this waterfall to have a deep bottom, she climbed up to the top, she walked over the water to the middle of the raging river at the edge before it fell. She looked down, this was a decently tall waterfall, she felt the rush of the wind bringing up the spray of water to her face. She channeled chakra to her feet in a burst and jumped up into the air. As she fell she twirled and flipped as she released shuriken and kunai to targets she had mentally marked. Towards the end she straightened out into a swan dive, being swallowed up by the water.

She got out of the water, collected her weapons, noticed she had missed a few of the more difficult marks and went to try again. Around the third time when she came out of the water she saw someone waiting for her, it was Genma. She perked up, maybe it was a summons. She noticed how his eyes flickered down her body as she came up to him before he settled on her face. She hated to admit how much she enjoyed the way he looked at her sometimes. “Need something from me Genma?” She wrung water out of her hair.

“Well I would love a few things from you.” He winked at her. She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “But I’m here because the Hokage needs you. He’s summoned you.”

“Ok, give me a minute to change.” She pulled out a towel and grabbed her clothes. She walked behind a rock and changed. She came back and he was collecting her kunai. He handed them to her. “Thank you.” She grabbed her pack and followed him back.

“I’m curious Akemi,” Genma looked over at her, she looked up waiting for his question. “Why are you always alone? I thought you had someone.”

“Maybe I like being alone. What does it matter?” She didn’t want to have this conversation again.

He turned to step in front of her, she looked up, her emerald eyes meeting his chocolate ones. She sucked in a breath at his sudden closeness. “If you were mine I would make sure you were never sad or lonely.” He leaned down lower, their noses almost touching, his breath tickling her lips. “I would hold you always, kiss you always.”

“That is not a promise that can be made by shinobi. Can you promise that you won’t go off on missions, leaving me for weeks or years on end?” She countered, he wasn’t touching her anywhere, yet a small part of her mind wanted him to close the distance, if only just to feel something.

“I’m a guard, I don’t go on missions often, and when I do, they are never long. I would be here for you every day and every night. You would be the one leaving me lonely.” His deep brown eyes hypnotizing her with his proposition.

Sakura felt her eyes flutter close as she bit her lip and breathed in his masculine scent, “Genma I…” She swallowed, “I am in love someone.” She thought of Sasuke as the words left her mouth shaking herself from his trance.

Genma stepped back, he looked down dejectedly, “Well if you ever get tired of being lonely, you have options.” He looked back up and grinned at her.

She chuckled, “And deprive all the women in Konoha?”

“They will be fine without me.” He laughed. Genma turned a curious look at her, “Where is he?”

Sakura now had to keep going with what she told Itachi, “He’s gone.”

“Oh, I see. Is he one of the people you miss?” He looked at her with sympathy.

She nodded her head, “Yes he is, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

He nodded as they walked back in silence. Sakura was working on putting herself back in order, she was married, she loved Sasuke, she shouldn’t be affected by Genma and his delicious scent, or his mahogany eyes, or by how much she wanted to reach out and touch his broad chest. She groaned internally, she needed to remember she was Uchiha Sakura, not Akemi and this was not her life, she had a life she would get back to eventually, but it felt nice to be chased instead of doing the chasing. They reached the Tower, he left her as she reached the Hokage’s office.

Sakura stepped in and noticed Maito Gai and a Hyuga, she wasn’t sure if she had met him before. She went to stand next to them and bowed at the Hokage.

“You have been summoned because there has been an outbreak in a neighboring village, Akemi, I am sending you to assist them at their medical facilities, you will stay until you find it reasonably contained and cured, but not longer than six weeks without my permission. Maito Gai and Hyuga Tokuma will be your escorts on this mission.” He looked at them gravely.

“Hai.” They all nodded at their orders.

“Keep on alert, there is always the possibility of this being a biological attack, the village is in a strategic location for attacking other villages, even Konoha. Be prepared for anything. Leave as soon as possible.”

“Hai Sandaime.” They all bowed as they were dismissed, collecting their dossiers as they walked out.

“We can meet at the gates in twenty minutes, is that all right?” Sakura turned to the two men.

“We can do it in ten! No make it five!” Gai pumped his fist in the air.

Tokuma shook his head and gave her an apologetic look. “He’s, uh, energetic.”

Sakura giggled, “It’s alright, I know he is.” She turned back to Gai who was going on about springtime of youth or something, “Gai, twenty minutes at the gate, some of us need a quick shower before we take off and I need to stop at the apothecary for supplies.”

If he listened to her she wasn’t sure but they walked down as he walked down the stairs on his hands having made a challenge for himself. Tokuma and her took off quickly to gather their supplies. Sakura came in through her window, took a quick shower, grabbed a premade pack that was always ready for these situations, she grabbed a few more things, stopped by the apothecary for supplies and met them at the gate right on time. They took off, the village was about a two day trip, but she pushed them as much as she could, stopping for camp when it was dark instead of at dusk. Luckily with Tokuma’s Byakugan, they caught two pheasants that they ate as they settled into camp. Sakura took first shift as look out. Gai woke them up before the break of dawn, with a quick breakfast and they were off again.

Traveling wasn’t too bad, Gai kept her smiling with his positive outbursts, Tokuma was serious but easy going. They reached their destination by late afternoon, Sakura presented herself at small medical building, she was shown a few patients, she was brought to speed on the infection and how it was being managed. After a tour her handler took them to the inn they would be staying at, there was a refrigerator full of food and a small kitchen, their mats on the floor and a bathroom. They all settled into their spots, Gai taking the spot closest to the door, Tokuma near the window and Sakura as usual, farthest away from any entry points.

They next morning while eating breakfast she brought her team up to speed. “It seems like it’s a viral infection that affects the muscles by deteriorating the proteins and lactic acids that help muscles work and grow. It started about two weeks ago, as of now there have been two deaths, elderly, their hearts stopped working. It has spread to about forty percent of the population, they believe it is being transmitted by tainted water. I need to gather more information from the patients, but something feels off.” She turned to Gai, “Can you get me samples of all the local water sources please?”

“Absolutely! I will get you those samples by mid-day!” He gave her a thumbs up.

“I need it done right more than I need it fast Gai and talk to the locals, see what you can find out.” She smiled at his enthusiasm. “And if you can accompany me, I want to use your Byakugan to see the chakra networks of the afflicted.” She asked Tokuma, he nodded.

After breakfast Gai went off to do his part as Sakura and Tokuma left to the hospital. The infected were quarantined in a large room that seemed like it used to be the hospital cafeteria, she stopped before they entered. “There’s no need for you to go in, can you please look?” She turned to her bodyguard. He nodded and activated his eyes. His face changed to concern.

“There is something wrong with their chakra, it’s sluggish instead of flowing.” He increased the strength of his eyes.

“Is it like there are blocks?” She was curious as to what he was seeing.

He shook his head, “No its like mud, instead of it flowing like clear water, its thick. Like adding flour to thicken up a gravy.”

She nodded, she was thinking. She thought about any illnesses she knew could affect chakra or muscles. she made a mental list, but first she needed to look at her patients first hand. “Thank you for looking.”

“I will find a spot to watch over you, if you need anything just signal.” He deactivated his eyes.

“Be careful, don’t drink water without boiling it first.” She pulled out a bottle from her pack. “This water is from Konoha, it should be clean.”

He took it and nodded, “Thank you.”

She went to a dressing room and put on a pair of scrubs and a face mask, she tied her hair in a bun and put a bonnet on. She met up with the head medic, Michi, he was middle aged and seemed to be competent as he walked her through the tests that they had done, blood tests, mouth swabs, urine and stool, he gave her a file of different charts and results. She walked around the room, men, women and children were affected, there didn’t seem to be anything connecting them. They were from different parts of the village, different families. She stopped to check a few different people with her chakra. She could feel the deterioration of muscles, and just like Tokuma had said, their chakra was sluggish. 

When she was done looking over the patients she walked out of the room, Michi followed her out. They walked down the hall, “We are trying to find a cure, but as of now we have only managed to alleviate the symptoms and slow down the progression but not stop it.”

Sakura took off her mask and bonnet. “What are medicines are you administering?”

“We have a blend of herbs for the muscled degeneration, I’ll get you a list of ingredients.” He answered.

“Thank you, and I also need to set up my own lab, is there a place I can do that?” Sakura pulled out a scroll.

“Yes of course, its not much but we cleared a room for you near the pharmacy.” He guided her to the small empty room, it was probably a storage closet, she shrugged, it would do, she opened her scroll and her lab appeared. “The medics are aware of your presence, they will assist you with your requests, please let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you, I will need a copy of the files and if you could point me to your library and if you have a greenhouse as well.” Sakura needed to get situated to work on this mystery quickly.

“Of course Akemi-sensie.” Michi nodded.

Sakura spent the rest of the day reading over all the files and reports, she looked over the ingredients list and had obtained a sample of the medicine. She took a few of her own blood samples from different patients and studied them. He small room didn’t have a window and she didn’t notice how late it was until Tokuma came and got her. She had even forgotten to eat all day.

Gai brought her samples of water from different places, he told her that the locals seemed shy and wary of strangers but they had told him that right before the people fell ill, there had been a heavy rain. She wondered what the rain had to do with this illness. She tested the water, it came back clean, Sakura spent the next few weeks at the hospital without breaks, sometimes Gai would come, give her food and lift her spirits with his positivity, Tokuma was kind and would bring her sweets, she appreciated them both. She had managed to create a more effective medicine, but still not a cure, she had lost three more patients, she cried those nights.

One day Sakura was frustrated at the lack of progress, she groaned in irritation and slammed her hands down on the table. She grabbed her pack and walked out of the hospital, she needed to clear her mind. Tokuma and Gai appeared next to her, ever present as her steadfast guards.

“Is something wrong Akemi?” Gai asked, full of concern.

“I just need fresh air, I can’t think right now, I need to clear my mind.” She walked past the center of the village to the outskirts.

“There’s a field up ahead.” Tokuma pointed. “And a river.”

They headed in that direction, the reached a field of flowers, “I find the best way to clear my mind is to sweat it out with one thousand push-ups. What do you say?” Gai was already on the ground doing push-ups.

Sakura couldn’t help but laugh and Tokuma shook his head in resignation. “I think I’ll do something a little different.” She walked over to the river bed, took off her shoes and stepped into the cool clean water. Tokuma walked across the water and started walking around, he was keeping his eyes active, watching for danger. After a few minutes he deactivated his Byakugan, Sakura watched him as he bent down to reach for a pretty red flower. She was at his side in a flash holding his wrist back, she had startled him.

“Don’t touch that. See the black leaves, that’s called Death’s Kiss. It will shut down your nervous system, depending on the dose you could be dead in ten minutes or days later.” She sighed in relief as he stepped back, clearly shook. She bent down to look at the plant, there was something that was nagging in her mind now, but she couldn’t get a grasp of it.

“Thanks, who knew such a pretty flower could be so deadly.” Tokuma walked back to the river.

Sakura thought of the symptoms, sluggish chakra that wouldn’t respond to her, failing muscles, but no fevers, what if it wasn’t an illness? What if it was poison? That wouldn’t explain the chakra itself being poisoned, unless, it was a jutsu. She jumped up and ran back to Gai and Tokuma.

“Gai, you said that before the villagers fell ill there had been a storm right?” Sakura looked at him excitedly.

He stood up from his push-ups, “Yes, a heavy rainfall.”

“The people that you talked to, had they been caught in the rain?” Her mind was starting to make connections.

He thought about it, “I didn’t ask. Do you think it was the rain?”

“Do either of you know of shinobis that combine poison with chakra?” They both stared at her.

“Like manipulate the poison with their chakra?” Tokuma’s white eyes looked down as he thought.

“Yes, like the Aburame clan can control insects that can eat chakra, what if they can control a poisonous substance? Or more like genjutsu manipulating others chakra networks. What if that rain wasn’t natural? What if it was a means to administer the poison and it affected the people that were caught in the rain? There have not been any new cases since the beginning. Who can control rain and poison?” She looked at them expectantly.

Gai scratched his chin, “Well Amegakure is famous for both, some still carry on the legacy of Hanzo the Salamander.”

“How far is the distance of your Byakugan?” She asked Tokuma.

“About six kilometers. I have the strongest eyes in my clan.” He said with a sense of pride.

“Great, scan the area. There must be a jutsu caster nearby. I can take care of the poison after the jutsu is broken.” She ran back to the river and put on her sandals.

“At the edge of my vision I see a cave and something inside, I need to get closer to see better.” He took off, Sakura and Gai followed him. “I see a group of about ten shinobi in the cave, and another dozen in the surrounding area.” He stopped, “We should ask for reinforcements.”

Sakura nibbled on her lip, he was right, but when would reinforcements arrive? People’s lives were at stake, she knew she could handle her own, she had seen Gai fight in the past, she knew his strengths, and she had spent enough time around Hinata to know the strength of a Hyuga, she thought that they could handle it, but they would have to be smart. Before she had time to formulate a plan, Tokuma stiffened.

“They’ve spotted us, they’re coming.” He pulled out kunai.

Sakura put on her gloves, Gai clenched his fists.

“Gai, three at your two o’clock, five coming straight ahead, another three from my ten o’clock. Akemi, get behind us.” They both stepped in front of her.

She knew this was protocol, protect the medic, but she wasn’t an ordinary medic. She saw the shinobi approaching in the distance when they were within range, she jumped in front of both of them, kicked up a slab of earth and punched it, sending rock flying forward, a variation of her Cherry Blossom Impact, she did it once more taking down the five that were coming straight ahead. The ones to the side she wasn’t able to get, they surrounded the three of them.

“I had heard you were impressive.” Gai grinned at her. She smirked back.

“Let’s try to get out of this alive.” Tokuma chided them both.

“You Konoha bastards aren’t going to make it out alive.” One of the shinobi barked in laughter, he had an Amegakure headband, with a scratch through it.

Sakura lunged and hit the one closest to her in the stomach, sending him flying. Gai charged at another one, landing a kick that sent that one smashing into a tree. Tokuma with lightning fast strikes brought down one more. “More are coming.” He warned.

Sakura cursed, “How many more?” Maybe if they came out in small groups it could be manageable.

“Too many.” He replied, her heart sank. She still could activate her Byakugo seal, she wouldn’t die and she could protect them.

“You two can finish up here, I will divert the other ones.” Sakura channeled chakra to her feet and jumped forward before she could hear their protests. She met a group of ten enemies. She cracked her knuckles, she had defeated more without the seal. They all lunged at her at once, she dove into the fray, dodging every punch and kick, she rolled over bodies, flipped back, twisted her body, she landed a kick or a punch when she had an opening and started to thin out the group. She dodged a fire attack by flipping sideways, but it still managed to burn her arm, she hissed out in pain. She couldn’t take care of it at the moment without activating her seal, it was a small injury, she dodged a lightning attack, seemed like the ones left were powerful. She needed to be careful, she saw four left. She heard the whistling of kunai, it hit one of her opponents in the back, the shinobi fell forward. Then she felt rumbling on the ground and branches sprout up, entangling themselves around the remaining enemies. She grinned, that was Yamato, Kakashi was here.

She heard the familiar chirping and in a flash of blue light the last three slumped on the ground. She sighed out in relief. Kakashi was in full ANBU gear, his mask in place, his silver hair giving her comfort. “What are you doing here?” She asked as he walked towards her.

“We have been watching the area, we knew that there were roguenin nearby.” He reached her and grabbed her arm. “You’re hurt.” He said in a low growl.

She placed her other hand over her injury and healed it quickly, “So you were watching the whole time?”

“We were told not to interfere, but a secondary team arrived, they gave us new directives, they are headed for the cave.” He watched as her skin healed before his eyes, he ran his fingers over her freshly healed skin.

“Listen, the ones in the cave must have a jutsu that controls rain and poison, they have to be careful. We need to get to them now.” She gently took her arm back, she noticed his lingering fingers.

He watched her through his mask, her emerald eyes dark from adrenaline. “The Crow took his team to capture them. He already knows.”

“How does he know?” She was worried about Itachi, she assumed that was his code name.

“We heard you talking earlier.” Kakashi replied. “Does death not bother you?” He said it almost accusingly.

She glanced at the bodies behind him, “It’s part of our lives, we are shinobi, we will endure.”

“I wasn’t talking about them, you jumped into the middle of ten shinobi without flinching, almost like you were looking forward to it” His voice with more bite than he had intended. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone move so gracefully and be so deadly.” He tried to contain his awe because how could she just throw herself in such a dangerous situation without a second thought, but he couldn’t deny it either.

Sakura barked out a short laugh, “You have never seen yourself fight then, you’re fearless, graceful, and deadly as well.” She looked into his mismatched eyes, there was something dark but inviting in his eyes. She looked away as she heard Gai and Tokuma running towards them.

“But you don’t seem like you have a death wish.” He murmured. She looked like she was about to say something but Gai reached them and pulled them both into a hug.

“The power of youth has prevailed again!” He released them, smiling.

“Are you both ok? Any injuries?” She looked both of them over, she saw a few cuts on Tokuma, she walked over and healed them.

“Thank you.” He smiled gratefully.

Itachi arrived with his prisoners, he had two, a woman and a man, under his genjutsu. “One has the poison the other has the rain jutsu. Seems it takes time to accumulate that much poison, but they were close to starting another poisoned rainfall.” He threw them down on the ground, comatose.

“Which one is poison?” Sakura rushed over. Itachi pointed at the woman. Sakura kneeled down, she inspected her hands then her mouth, she saw glands under her tongue, Sakura took a few samples. “I need to get back and make an antidote.” She turned and headed back to the village. She looked back and saw Gai and Tokuma following her back leaving ANBU to take care of the mess behind them, they had their own mission to complete.

It took another two days to make the antidote, but within a week everyone affected was back to normal. The three of them headed back, in some weird self-imposed challenge, Gai declared that he would carry Sakura all the way back to the village and her pack.

“Gai, no that’s ridiculous, walk on your hands instead or something.” She waived him off.

“No that is the challenge, I must carry you the whole way!” He stopped in front of her, his eyes begging, he looked like he was going to start crying or break something if she didn’t comply.

Sakura sighed in resignation and shrugged her shoulders, “Fine, whatever.”

Gai jumped up in triumph, throwing her up in the air so she landed on his shoulders, she yelped, grabbing his hair to steady herself, “Gai!” She looked over to Tokuma for help, he gave her a sheepish and apologetic smile. “You’re no help.” She didn’t have time for more as Gai dashed down the road, leaving the young Hyuga to catch up to them.

After they reached the village and gave their report, she had a post mission meal with Gai and Tokuma. She enjoyed her time with them, they made her laugh and smile in such an innocent way, it made her miss Rock Lee and Hinata. As she walked home, she noticed Genma walk out of a bar with an arm around a pretty brunette, he noticed her, she gave him a reassuring smile. She knew who he was, she had no claim on him, yet she wondered how true all the stories she had heard about him were.

The next morning she hear a knock, she got up and went to open the door. It was Genma with food.

“You’re back.” He said simply with a smile.

“I think you’re giving breakfast to the wrong girl.” Sakura teased as she let him in.

He flushed, “Well… I don’t… I didn’t…” He stuttered not sure what he was trying to say.

Sakura laughed, he was adorable when he was flustered. “It’s none of my business and thank you.” She turned to the kitchen and put on a pot for coffee. She turned around, he had settled himself on the small table, “I’ll be right back, need to brush my teeth.” She stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, she quickly cleaned up and brushed out her sleep hair. She looked down at herself, he had seen her in shorts and a tank top before. She walked back out.

“You have nothing personal in here.” He observed.

“Oh, I have never stayed anywhere for long.” She lied, her home was full of pictures on the walls, knick knacks, and other personal things. Here, she had a table, a couch, a bed, a dresser and a very small kitchen all in the same room, nothing that indicated permanence.

“How can you call it home?” He got up to pull mugs for coffee.

“I, uh, don’t. It’s just a place to stay.” She had been in this time for over two months now, she didn’t want a place here to call home, she wanted to go back to her real home.

He gave her a hard look, “Don’t you want a home? Somewhere that’s yours?”

 _I have a home and a family._ “Sure, someday.” She heard the kettle whistle and went to make coffee.

They ate as she told him about the mission, he had already heard the most exciting parts from Kakashi. As he was getting ready to leave, he looked back at her.

“You know, none of them compare to you.” He said softly.

Her eyes watched him, slightly surprised, “Don’t say that, they’re all beautiful in their own way, it’s not fair to compare us.”

“That’s not what I mean,” He reached for her hands, “I know you love someone else, but it’s no secret that I really like you and I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but he’s gone. I can be surprisingly patient, the offer still stands, if you’re feeling lonely, I’ll be here in whatever capacity you need.” His eyes locking into hers.

“Genma, I…” She wasn’t sure what to say, he was so sincere in his declaration, and it made her heart beat faster.

“Just know I’m here for you.” He leaned over, kissed her forehead softly and was gone out the door like a warm breeze as she stood stunned, her heart palpitating against her chest still feeling the warmth of his lips on her skin. Gods he was dangerous.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your time in reading! Leave your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. As a warning, there are darker themes in this chapter and continuing on, depression, self-harm and suicide are alluded to so read with care. Please let me know your thoughts, it keeps me wanting to write more. thank you for everyone that comments after reading, I appreciate it.

The humidity was unbearable, towards the end of summer the moisture in the air was always worse, she could feel her shirt sticking to her skin, she had put her hair up in a messy bun to get it out of the way, but she was finding no relief. She got up from the floor where she had been sitting reading, since the idea of sitting on the couch seemed even more uncomfortable. She grabbed a pack, threw in a bathing suit and towel and walked out. At the stairs she saw Kakashi. “Hi Kakashi.”

He looked up from his book and noticed her pack. “Another mission?” He was trying to have a conversation and not be so cold, as Gai had put it. Gai had really taken a liking to the kunoichi since they’re last mission, she was in the springtime of her youth, or something, Kakashi tended to ignore most of the words that came out of his mouth.

Sakura shook her head, “No, I just can’t handle the humidity, I’m going to the waterfall if you want to join.”

Kakashi thought it over, she was right the humidity was awful, refreshing water would feel nice. He looked at her face flushed from the heat, the sheen of sweat on her skin. He nodded. “Ok, I just have to get a few things.” He put his book in his pack and walked up the stairs. He noticed Akemi standing, unsure whether to follow him or to wait. “You can come with me.” She followed him to his apartment. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter, she stepped in first and yelped out in surprise, first instinct to punch what was in front of her. Green went crashing into Kakashi’s closet. Kakashi laughed.

Sakura looked behind her and saw his eye crinkled as he laughed, it spread a warmth through her, she missed his laughter. She turned back to what she had punched, Gai was grumbling as he stood up. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… you startled me.”

Kakashi put his hand on her shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, he’s used to it. It’s what he gets for trying to surprise people. He can fix the closet too.”

Gai stood up, his eyes animated “I’m here for a challenge with my greatest rival!”

Kakashi walked past him to his dresser, pulled out shorts and a towel and threw them in a pack. “It’s too hot for that Gai, we’re going to the waterfall to cool off.”

“The waterfall? Perfect! I’ll meet you there!” Gai jumped out and disappeared.

Kakashi sighed and shrugged, Sakura couldn’t help but giggle. “Did you know he was behind the door?”

“Hmm.. I wasn’t sure, he’s getting better at surprising me but I thought I smelled him.” Kakashi walked out of the apartment as she followed. “Sorry for putting you in the line of fire but that was a good punch.”

She blushed at his compliment and smiled. They stopped to get some food and headed to the gates. Gai caught up to them, trying to coerce Sakura to let him carry her again. “No Gai, I already did it once, I’m not doing it again.”

“Akemi! Please!” He gave her his signature puppy dog eyes.

“Don’t make me put chakra into the next punch Gai.” She threatened.

He hung his head in rejection. He spotted a large rock on the road. “I’ll carry that rock instead.” Reanimated by his new self-imposed challenge he ran up to the small boulder and tried to pick it up.

Both Kakashi and Sakura sighed and shrugged. Sakura watched him struggle with it, she went over and picked it up with ease.

Gai looked at her in awe. “You’re so strong!”

She chuckled, “It’s just chakra, I flow it throughout my body to increase my strength. It’s not much different than your Strong Fist Style, your chakra channels into your taijutsu, mine is just a different application with control.” She dropped the rock. “Anyways let’s go, it’s too hot for this much effort.”

They finally made it to their destination, she had changed into her black suit, Gai had on green swim trunks, and Kakashi had on navy blue ones with his ever present mask. She couldn't help but let her eyes roam down his chiseled torso when he wasn't looking. Sakura was floating in the water, enjoying the coolness on her skin. She looked up to the sky, she would bring Sarada and ChoCho here on days just like this. They would float and talk about the different clouds and what they saw. It was almost three months now. Three months of waiting and immersing herself into this new time. She had gone on more missions but it didn’t replace her need to get back home. She heard Gai exclaim that he was going to do a cannon ball as he stood at the top of the waterfall. She sighed, the water would be disrupted, she got up and walked over the water to the tree line where Kakashi was sitting under the shade reading. She grabbed a towel and laid it on the ground and sat next to him. They watched as Gai landed in the water, creating a massive splash. She laid back to watch the sky again.

Kakashi watched her curiously, maybe it was the heat but she didn’t seem as energetic as usual, she seemed lost in thought. He could see her emerald eyes watching the clouds above with a look of longing. He laid back to see the clouds with her. He pointed at one, “That one looks like a dog.”

Sakura was shaken from her thoughts as Kakashi spoke, she followed his finger and found the cloud he was pointing at. She giggled, “I think it looks like a slug.”

“No, it’s a dog napping, his tail curled around him.” Kakashi pointed out defining features. She had a pretty smile.

“Ok, I can see it, but the ears look like slug eyes to me.” It was nice to have a moment with Kakashi, she would often find him or Shikamaru laying back on the rooftop gardens watching the clouds. She would usually yell at them to get back to work.

“I guess that’s true, but I like dogs more.” He pointed at another one, “How about that one?”

“It looks like a sunflower.” She said after studying it for a moment.

“Hmm… that’s better than what I was going to say. I saw an explosion.” He watched her as she started laughing.

“An explosion? That’s ridiculous Kakashi, its clearly a flower.” They spent time arguing about cloud shapes while Gai tried to make bigger splashes. Sakura must have fallen asleep because she was being woken up by Kakashi, shaking her gently. She opened her eyes to his stormy one, his other eye closed, she could see the scar that had cost him his original eye before it disappeared into his mask.

“It’s getting late, we should head back.” He spoke softly, she looked half asleep. Her jade depths still half lidded, she brought up her hands to cover her mouth as she yawned, she made a cute noise at the end. She rubbed at her eyes to wake herself up. He would have let her sleep longer, she seemed so peaceful, but it really was getting late and they needed to head back.

“All right let’s go.” She felt better now that she had napped. She pulled out a simple light green wrap dress and tied around herself to cover up since her suit had dried. They packed up and headed back to the village. Gai saw Asuma, Kurenai and Genma eating at the dumpling shop and dragged them along. Sakura sighed, she couldn’t keep avoiding them forever it seemed, she looked over and saw the same expression on Kakashi. They shared a small smile as they followed Gai.

Kakashi sat down on the corner, Akemi walked in behind him, Genma jumped out of his seat. “Akemi! You’re here, you have to meet Asuma and Kurenai.”

She bowed at both of them “Nice to meet you, I’m Akemi.” She sat next to Kakashi.

“We’ve heard quite a lot about you.” Kurenai smiled at her. “Gai and Genma are always singing your praises.”

Sakura blushed, “Oh, well as long as they say good things I suppose.”

Asuma laughed, “They make you sound like you can destroy mountains.”

“Well I’ve never tried, but I suppose… If I gathered enough chakra…” She did give it a thought, she guessed she probably could if the mountain was small.

Asuma wasn’t expecting her to actually think about it, he laughed. “I heard you punched Genma and healed him too.”

Genma, Kakashi and Sakura all turned away from Asuma as their cheeks flushed. “Yes, that happened once.”

“She punched me this morning, I didn’t need healing.” Gai teased Genma.

“I didn’t put chakra into that punch, you only scared me.” She clarified for Gai.

“Why did I get a chakra punch?” Genma pouted.

“You made me angry.” She huffed.

They all laughed. They asked her about herself, she was lying more easily now, telling them about Akemi, part of her felt guilt at lying but there was no other way, and the other part embraced Akemi, the mysterious but powerful kunoichi.

She hadn’t really talked to Genma since that morning about a week ago, and she could feel his gaze flicker to her, and it made her feel hot. She stood up, “I have to go. I have errands to run.” She gave them a smile and turned to leave. She was down the block when she felt a someone catch up to her, she hoped it wasn’t Genma, She couldn’t handle his presence at the moment, she turned and saw Kakashi walking in his lazy gait next to her.

“I’m still hungry, care to join me?” He really was hungry, he didn’t want to eat dango and she looked like she was overwhelmed with that much attention.

Sakura nodded, grateful for his comforting presence. The walked down the market and found a street vendor that sold soba noodles, they sat down to eat as the sun set, watching all the shops start to turn on their lights. They ate mostly in silence, but neither wanted to break the peace with talk. When they finished they started walking home. They passed a kimono shop, there was a large sign about getting yukata’s for the summer festival that weekend. Sakura stopped and looked at the collection of fabrics. The summer festival was Sarada’s favorite.

Kakashi noticed that Akemi had stopped, she stood rooted as she looked into the kimono shop. She had that look again, the look of pain and loss. He approached her, “Did you want to go to the summer festival?”

Sakura stirred from her memories. “Oh, I don’t know.”

“Is there a reason you don’t want to go?” He asked gently.

“I suppose not, it just reminds me of someone I miss, someone that is not here.” She told him.

“Then maybe you should go to honor their memory.” Genma had told him that she had lost her family, and Kakashi saw that pain evident enough.

“I don’t really want to go alone.” Sakura did want to go, she wanted to be reminded of her daughter.

“I’ll go with you if you would like.” He saw her eyes light up at his proposition, it made his heart jump, he wasn’t sure why.

She gave him a shy smile, “If you don’t mind I would appreciate it.”

He nodded, “I don’t mind.” She started to walk, “Don’t you need a yukata?”

She turned back, “Oh I can get it later, you don’t have to wait for me.”

He shrugged, “We’re already here and I really have nothing else to do tonight.”

“Oh, ok then.” Sakura felt self-conscious as she looked through the racks, he just found a spot against the wall and started reading. She found two yukata’s she really liked, one a soft yellow and the other a sky blue, normally Ino would help her pick, she held both up as she decided.

“I like the yellow one.” Kakashi said next to her.

Sakura was startled and blushed, “The yellow?” He nodded. “I think you’re right.” She smiled at him in appreciation. She paid for it and a light green obi to go with it.

The night of the festival she put on the yukata, a soft yellow with pink cherry blossoms throughout, tied together with the obi she bought with it. She pinned her hair up with pretty brooches she had bought to match, she left her bangs and a few pieces loose to frame her face. She heard a knock at the door, she was expecting Kakashi. She slipped on her sandals and opened the door, he was wearing a deep forest green yukata, his mask and headband in their place. She had seen him in yukatas before, but she didn’t know why this time her heart stilled at how handsome he looked.

“Ready to go?” He asked. She nodded and smiled. “You look nice.” She blushed prettily, she really did look very good, she looked like a sunrise.

“Thank you, so do you.” Sakura tried to control the heat she felt on her face as she followed him out.

They bought squid as they walked around, Sakura watched all the children with their parents, she looked around at the games as a group of children tried to catch goldfish. She stiffened as she saw a familiar shock of midnight black hair. Sasuke was laughing as his mother bent down to help him, he looked so happy, tugging at his mother’s sleeves as she held on to his goldfish, he dragged her to another game. She was brought back as she felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder. Kakashi looked down at her in worry.

“I’m okay, I was just reminded of someone.” She tried her best to give him a reassuring smile.

“How do you do that?” She looked up at him in confusion, “Smile even though you’re in pain.” He clarified.

She was taken aback, she didn’t really know how to answer him. “I don’t know. I just have hope things will get better I suppose. They say time heals all wounds, but somedays I’m not sure.”

He nodded, he had heard the same things before but he still wasn’t capable of letting go of the darkness and the pain. He started walking, she fell into step beside him.

“People help too, your friends, family, people that care about you and you care about them. They help.” She said to him, he turned to her, his eye watching her as if trying to understand.

He was about to say something but felt a shock of pain as Gai smacked his shoulder. Genma came up behind him. Kakashi rubbed his shoulder and winced. “Do you always have to try to dislocate my shoulder every time you greet me?” Gai grinned as he put an arm around Kakashi’s shoulder and dragged him away.

Genma came up to Akemi, he held out a bowl for her, “Anmitsu, it’s your favorite right?”

Sakura looked at him in slight surprise. She nodded slowly and reached out to take it from him. “Thank you.”

“You look great. Like a beautiful sunrise, just like your name.” He smiled kindly at her.

Sakura blushed, he seemed to be having that affect on her more recently which is why she had tried her best to create some distance, but here he was, with her favorite treat and in a soft brown yukata that showed off his broad chest, his chocolate eyes and that smile, that smile of his made her breath catch, he was like sunshine, and she needed a little light in her life at the moment.

“I feel like you have been avoiding me.” He whispered into her ear.

She breathed in deep trying to calm her thundering heart, instead his citrus spicy scent filled her, “I, uh, have been busy is all.”

“If you say so.” He stepped back and gave her a smile, “Let’s go play some games.” He took her hand as they followed Gai and Kakashi.

Sakura let herself be pulled by his warm large hands, she shouldn’t be feeling this, she shouldn’t like the feeling of another man’s hand, it shouldn’t feel so welcoming. She had Sasuke, she had his hands to go back to, yet… yet… even back in her own time he wasn’t always there for her, his hands weren’t always there to hold her, or to pick her up, or to protect her, she only had her own hands to depend on, to protect and hold their daughter. Genma was here, her hand firmly in his, strong dependable hands that she could count on. She shook her thoughts, it didn’t matter, she would eventually go back to her own time, and she wouldn’t even see it coming, she would vanish from this time without warning, the same way she came. Maybe she should enjoy it while she could and deal with the repercussions later. Holding hands was innocent enough.

Kakashi looked back when Gai finally stopped, he saw Akemi pull her hand from Genma’s, she laughed nervously as she took the spoon from her anmitsu and ate. He wondered about Genma’s feeling towards her, he knew he liked her, but Kakashi didn’t want to think that Akemi was another one of Genma’s conquests, though he doubted she would ever allow it, she was intelligent, but he knew Genma to be charming. He hoped that she wouldn’t get hurt.

Sakura kept eating her anmitsu as a pretext to have her hand occupied, she walked over to Kakashi to give herself some space, she needed to calm down and Kakashi was comforting. She smiled at him, he looked slightly surprised, “Is everything all right?” She asked not sure if something had changed.

He nodded, “Want to play the one with the rubber kunai?” He was surprised that she would seek him out instead of staying with Genma.

“Oh sure!” She finished her treat and threw out the trash when they passed a bin. Genma and Gai were chatting beside her. When they reached the booth they saw Itachi with a pretty girl of long brown hair. She was cheering for him, her own pile of prizes as large as his.

Itachi noticed them come up, he nodded at Akemi, to everyone else and lastly Kakashi, “Senpai.”

“Not taicho?” Sakura asked.

“He was promoted as a taicho of his own team months ago.” Kakashi nodded back “Itachi, enjoying the festival?”

“Hai, we were just getting prizes for Sasuke, he likes the toys. This is Uchiha Izumi”

“Hello! Nice to meet everyone.” She said cheerfully. 

Sakura liked her, she was a nice opposite to the very serious Itachi, then like a lightning strike she remembered, she remembered the night that was yet to happen. She tried not to let the sadness shake the smile from her face as she saw Itachi and Izumi. She grabbed on to Kakashi’s sleeve since he was closest to her and because she wanted his calmness to steady herself. He looked down at her curiously. “Sorry I just got a chill.” She smiled sheepishly as she let him go.

“We have to go, mother is waiting for us.” Itachi and Izumi walked off with their prizes.

Kakashi noticed as Akemi looked at the departing couple sadly, and then like a shadow was replaced by a bright smile, too bright. She pulled at his sleeve so he would follow her to the booth. The four of them played games, she had a pile of toys and other prizes in her arms.

“You finally have things for your apartment.” Genma teased.

“Well I’m going drop off all the toys at the hospital, I don’t have a need for them.” She looked down at all the plushies.

“Oh that’s a great idea! Here take mine!” Gai dropped more into her arms.

“Gai I can’t carry all of this.” Sakura was trying to look over the toys. She felt them all being taken away as Kakashi stuffed the prizes in a bag.

“There, it will be easier to carry.” Kakashi said simply as he held on to the bag.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him.

“The fireworks will be starting soon we should find a place to sit.” Genma pointed towards a hill. They all followed him and sat down on the grass.

As the fireworks lit up the sky Sakura thought about Sarada, if she was also watching the fireworks, it was her favorite part. She saw Genma hold out something for her, she took it from his hand, it was a cherry blossom encased in glass. She looked over at him, he was smiling at her again, she smiled back. “Thank you. It’s pretty.” Little did he know how apropos this gift was to her.

“It reminded me of your hair, it might give your apartment a little personality.” He joked.

She chuckled, “I suppose so.”

After the fireworks ended, they walked back, Kakashi and Gai were walking in front of her and Genma was beside her. She felt warmth through her heart as she walked with them, it was nice to have people around her. She felt Genma reach for her hand again, he stopped her and brushed back her bangs.

“I have to go this way, I’ll see you soon.” He said hopefully, she nodded, he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and walked off.

Sakura bit her lip as she watched him leave, and then sped up to catch up to Kakashi and Gai. Soon Gai left them too, Kakashi and her walked back in comfortable silence. Kakashi opened his hand in front of her, she saw a pretty bracelet with a little cherry blossom, she took it from him. She smiled at him, “It’s very pretty thank you.”

“It’s just something I won and I thought you might like it.” He mumbled uncomfortably.

She giggled, “I like it very much.” He walked her to her door, Sakura felt very grateful that Kakashi had convinced her to go to the festival and she had enjoyed her time. She grabbed at his sleeve as he turned to leave and reached up to give him a soft kiss on his masked cheek. “Thank you for tonight. It helped.”

“I’m glad it did.” He watched her smile, she looked so fragile, he wanted to scoop her up and hold her and take the pain away. Without thinking he gave her forehead a masked kiss. He cleared his throat. “Good night.” He felt his cheeks burn, he turned and walked away. He heard her say good night to him as he reached the stairs.

Sakura opened her door and leaned against it as she closed it. She breathed out, she pulled out her two gifts, they were so different, Genma was warm and light, Kakashi was comfort and understanding. She couldn’t let herself be caught up with either of them. She touched her forehead where they had both kissed her good night. It had felt nice, they felt nice. She felt herself getting hot and it had nothing to do with the temperature outside.

Sakura was distracted from her feelings for a few days as she went on a mission with an Aburame, a Yamanaka and an Akamichi, it was an infiltration and destroy mission, their mission had been to destroy a caravan of supplies to a small nation that was amassing supplies against an allied nation, the mission had taken five days to complete. She was exhausted from traveling in the heat. After debriefing she went straight home, showered and took a nap. She dreamed of falling, of being stuck in this time and never getting back to her daughter, to her husband. She saw herself getting old here and watching herself and everyone else grow up but not being able to interfere, she saw herself bound as her life was replayed in front of her. She woke up sweating, she needed to forget, she needed a drink. She threw on shorts and a tank top and walked out to a bar.

She was three drinks in when Genma slipped into the seat beside her, he signaled the bartender for two more drinks, he seemed to sense she didn’t want to talk, the bartender set their drinks down, they each took one, clinked glasses and drank. It was two more drinks before he spoke, “Want to talk about it?” He looked at her with concern.

She sighed and shook her head, “No, I don’t want to talk about it.”

He nodded, “Let’s drink then.”

They ended up stumbling out of the bar laughing at something neither could remember, she tripped, he caught her around the waist, she put her arm around his neck as they both steadied themselves, still giggling. They started walking, holding on to each other so they wouldn’t fall. They ended up at his apartment since it was the closest. He sat her down on the couch as her laughs subsided, he managed to find his way to the kitchen and get water, she felt warm and fuzzy, she had definitely drunk too much. He came back with a glass for her, she drank it greedily. He threw off his vest, her eyes taking in how his jonin shirt sat tight across his chest.

She moved to get up, “I should go.” She fell back down, her legs not co-operating.

He laughed and kneeled in front of her, “You are in no condition to get yourself home and I am in no condition to make sure you’re going to get home safe. Take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He took her hands in his.

Sakura blinked, his eyes sweet and welcoming, she felt a magnetic pull to him and felt herself lean forward, his warm bright scent captivating, he reached up to cup her cheek, their noses almost touching, his chocolate eyes staring into her emerald ones.

“Genma…” She breathed, she placed her hand on his chest.

He shuddered, then shook his head, breaking the moment. He kissed her forehead softly, “You’re drunk, you should sleep.”

She bit her lip and nodded. He lifted her up and took her to his bed. She felt so cared for in his arms. He set her down gently and turned to walk away, she grabbed the back of his shirt, he turned to look at her, she didn’t know what she wanted other than she didn’t want to be alone. He sat down next to her as she took his hand and laid down. He laid down with her and they both fell asleep.

The next morning she woke up with a raging headache, she quickly got rid of it and breathed in, she was surrounded by Genma’s bright and earthy scent. She looked over to him, he was sleeping with his back to her, both still fully clothed. She gently pressed her fingers to his temple so he wouldn’t wake up in discomfort. He stirred and settled back into sleep as she relaxed him with her chakra. She slipped out of bed, grabbed her shoes from the front door and left.

She had found her way to her new favorite spot to think, she was floating on the water. The waterfall was her place to escape, it was calming and refreshing, letting the roar of the water fill her, the blue sky seeming infinite, and the fluffy white clouds floating by as if they didn’t have a care in the world. She was starting to understand why Shikamaru and Kakashi liked watching the clouds so much.

What was she doing? She berated herself. How many time did she have to remind herself that she was Uchiha Sakura, not Akemi? She shouldn’t be sharing a bed with another man, albeit nothing happened, but for a moment she had wanted something to happen, she had wanted it very much. Then there was Kakashi, her sensei, he brought her comfort, he understood her pain and eased it without having to talk about it. She found it ironic that this Kakashi had a better connection with her than Kakashi-sensei, this Kakashi saw her and recognized her and her feelings.

Her thoughts were broken as Genma bent down over her, she lifted herself out of the water and sat up.

“You ran off this morning.” He said kindly, not accusatory, more out of concern for her.

“You were sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you.” She responded.

He straightened up and held out his hand, she took it as he helped her stand. “Thank for the hangover cure, but how about next time you don’t put me back to sleep?” She stood in front of him dripping.

“Genma, I just…” She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, that she wanted to get away from him as fast as possible so she wouldn’t do something she would regret later. “Thank you for being a gentleman.” She said instead, because he had been, he could have taken advantage of her mixed feelings, she had been the one to lean into him and he didn’t.

He put his hand on her shoulder, “You were drunk, I wouldn’t do that, but you made it very hard.” He said softly. “You’re making it very hard now.” His eyes flickered down her body. “You are just so amazing.” He stepped closer to her, “You are fierce and gentle, and so very beautiful.”

Sakura stood rooted, his eyes holding her captive, his scent tying her down to him. She should stop this, but Akemi didn’t want this to stop. His hands were moving down her arms, she breathed out.

“You look at me with those stunning emerald eyes and you look at me like you want me to do something, but then you tell me you can’t and I don’t know what to do. Should I do what your eyes tell me or what your lips tell me?” He leaned forward their noses touching, still staring at each other.

“Genma, I…” She could feel his breath tickle her lips “Please don’t…” She whispered softly but not pulling away, breathing him in, feeling his fingers on her skin.

“Tell me to stop.” His lips grazed hers but he didn’t press them down, giving her a chance to stop him, his eyes challenging hers.

She shuddered and closed her eyes. “Please…”

“Please what?” He saw her lashes cast shadows on her cheeks.

She felt his lips move as he spoke, she couldn’t tell him to stop. She whimpered, she couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted to feel him, taste him, she flicked out her tongue, he groaned as it touched his bottom lip and took her mouth into his. She melted into his body as he pulled her in, they moaned as they tasted each other, he tasted like a bright summer day, happy and warm.

“Genma…” She whispered between his demanding but gentle kisses.

“He’s gone Akemi, let me care for you.” He nibbled at her lips between kisses.

 _But he’s not gone, I’m gone, so very gone._ She couldn’t focus with the onslaught of his kisses, his hands on her waist.

“He’s not here, I am.” She felt so good, so sweet and soft.

 _But…_ “I shouldn’t…” She dug her fingers into his vest and kept kissing him back, his lips soft, his kisses rough.

“Why?” He breathed.

 _Because I’m married, and he’s not here but that doesn’t absolve me, but oh gods, you feel so good, so very good._ She let out a small whine, she was lost, his kisses making her forget she was Sakura, he kept saying her other name, Akemi, Akemi, Akemi, like a chant. Akemi wasn’t married, her lover was dead, Akemi could kiss Genma without the guilt. She snaked her arms around his neck, her tongue reaching out for his, his hand went down to grab a handful of her backside as her leg wrapped around his, his other hand went to her upper back to press her closer to him.

“Gods…. You’re so…. Mmmm… so good…” He murmured as his mouth moved to kiss down her jaw. She was breathing hard as she gave into him, her chest heaving, he licked up her neck tasting her skin, fresh and tangy. She was intoxicating. He nipped at her ear and suddenly he was shoved violently away.

It was a shock of reality, Sasuke did that, Sasuke liked to nibble on her ear, but she saw the look of hurt and confusion in Genma’s brown eyes, she sobbed, what had she done? In an instant she was grabbing her pack, she put too much chakra to her feet leaving a crater on the ground as she bolted through the trees, her vision blurry with tears.

She locked herself into her apartment for the next few days. She had heard Genma come by and knock at her door multiple times, he wanted to talk to her, he wanted to apologize, he still wanted to be there for her in whatever capacity she wanted, he would let her decide, but please open the door, please talk to me, he pleaded. She cried as she heard the thumping on the wood, his voice so full of pain. She didn’t respond to him, she didn’t open the door. How could she have done that? Not only did she betray Sasuke but she hurt Genma. She was such a terrible person.

It was around the third day that she heard a knock on her door again, this one was different, softer but insistent. “Akemi.” His voice was deep and melodic, it held the same concern she had heard for years when he would worry about her and call her by her name, Sakura. She lifted her head from the pile of pillows.

He knocked again, “Akemi, I’m coming in.”

She heard him pick the lock and open the door, just seeing his silver hair enter her apartment made her ache, he looked at her in concern, in a few strides of his long legs he was at her side.

She looked wretched, circles around her eyes from lack of sleep and red from crying, her hair in tangles, she looked so broken and fragile. He pulled her into his arms, she cried softly, he thought he heard her whisper the word sensei, just like she had done that day in the gardens. He ran his fingers through her hair as she cried. He held her for what seemed like hours, letting her release everything for him.

After she was able to stop crying, she wiped her face, “I’m sorry Kakashi.”

He lifted her chin to see her evergreen depths, “Don’t be sorry.” He wiped a few more tears with his thumb. “But you could do something for me.” She looked at him questioningly. “You could go take a shower and then you could eat something. You will feel better once you’re clean and have something in your stomach.”

She blushed, she hadn’t showered in days or eaten anything. She nodded, he stood up and took her hand as he pulled her from her bed. She stood up shakily, not having really gotten out of bed in days. He reached to hold her up but she stopped him, “Thank you, but I can take a shower by myself.” She gave him a weak smile as she walked to the bathroom. She turned on the water as hot as her skin could take, sat down on the tile, huddled as the water sprayed her, letting her tears mix with the water.

Kakashi sighed as he saw steam come out the edges of door, he went to her fridge and found some food, he made her miso soup with tofu. He noticed a long time had passed and the shower was still on, he was worried. He gingerly knocked on the door, “Akemi, are you ok?” No answer, he knocked louder, nothing. He opened the door and saw her lying on the shower floor. His heart sank, he quickly turned off the water and went to check her wrists and her pulse, he let out the breath he had been holding. She was just unconscious. He grabbed a towel, wrapped her up in it, picked her up and took her back to bed. He looked at her sadly, he went back to the kitchen to wash his hands and clean up.

Sakura woke up in darkness, she felt sore everywhere, especially her heart. She heard a deep rhythmic breathing from across the room, she remembered Kakashi, he was probably sleeping on the couch. She sat up and noticed she was naked, last thing she remembered was taking a shower, she felt the towel beside her and her pillows wet from her hair. She wrapped the towel around herself, stood up and went to her dresser, she found a simple cotton dress she would sleep in sometimes. She slipped it on and then put on panties.

“Are you ok? I found you unconscious in the shower.” Kakashi had woken up when he heard her open the drawers.

Sakura turned on the lamp by her bedside table, casting a soft glow across the room. “I’m sorry, the water must have been too hot.”

Kakashi reached up to her hair, it was a knotted mess. She grabbed her brush with shaking hands, he placed his hand over hers, “Let me.” He guided her back to bed, she sat in front of him, he reached for the mass of rose tresses. “I’m sorry if I’m not gentle, I’ve never really done this.” He said softly as he gently started to brush out her hair. It felt like silk in his fingers. He could feel her relax with every brushstroke. He didn’t know why but he felt his heart soften for her, he wanted to take care of her, he wanted to protect her, he wanted to heal her.

Sakura felt the brush against her scalp, gentle and soothing. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had brushed her hair, her mother had brushed her hair when she had been a little girl, about thirty years ago. Sarada didn’t let her brush out her hair anymore, of course Sarada liked to keep her hair short. He continued brushing long after her hair was untangled, but she didn’t stop him, letting him take care of her.

He finally put down the brush seeing as her breathing was calm and even, “Will you eat something for me? I made miso soup.” He asked gently.

She turned to him and nodded slowly. He stood up went to the kitchen, she heard him heat up the soup and put the kettle on. She ran her fingers through her hair. Sasuke liked long hair which is why she had grown it back out in her twenties. She felt her heart lurch in pain, she had been so loyal to him, her love for him had remained steadfast even when she had tried to stop loving him, even when she wasn’t sure he would ever come back, she had never stopped loving him, and she had never betrayed that love, until now, she had waited for him for years, and now she had tainted that love in three months. She hated herself for it. Then she recalled the look that Genma gave her as she pushed him away, it made her heart ache even more.

Kakashi glanced at her as he waited for the soup and water to boil, she looked to be in turmoil. He had been walking down the stairs when he saw Genma knocking at her door pleading for her to open it. Kakashi had been curious but also didn’t want to interfere, then Genma saw him and rushed over to him, he told him the quick version and asked him to keep an eye on her, she hadn’t come out in two days. Kakashi supposed she was feeling conflicted about honoring the memory of her dead lover and the feelings she had for Genma. He heard the water bubbling and turned off the stove, he filled a bowl with soup and made chamomile tea, he added a dash of honey, she seemed to like sweets.

Sakura looked up as Kakashi came back to her, he put down the tea on the bedside table and gave her the bowl.

“Be careful it’s hot.” He placed it in her hands carefully. She nodded and took small sips.

She let the warmth radiate through her, she had finished it soon enough, he replaced the empty bowl with tea. She drank that too. As he took the cup from her hands she looked up to him, “Kakashi, I…”

“Shhh, it’s ok, you don’t have to talk about it with me. I think I understand. Just tell me what you need.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She nodded.

“Don’t leave.” She said quietly.

“I’ll be nearby, I’ll be on the couch.” He squeezed her hand as she fell back into bed. He pulled up the sheets around her and went to put the dishes away. He had found a blanket on the couch, but the night was warm enough, he fell asleep and dreamt of Rin, Obito and his father.

The next day Kakashi stayed to watch her, he told her to shower with the door open and to make it quick and not too hot, he wouldn’t peek but after the scare she gave him he didn’t trust her. She gave him a small smile and agreed. She shyly asked him to brush her hair again, saying it had felt nice. He felt himself blush as he nodded, she sat on a chair as he brushed out her hair.

She giggled softly, “What?” He asked, feeling very self-conscious.

“Oh its just, the Great Copy Ninja is brushing my hair.” She teased. He bristled, “Oh please don’t stop Kakashi. I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”

“I do have other, much deadlier nicknames too, don’t make me show you how I got those.” He grumbled.

“Thank you Kakashi.” Her voice full of gratitude and appreciation.

He pulled up a chair in front of her and took her hands in his. “I am not the person to give you advice on how to honor the memories of loved ones that are gone, I still struggle with the memories of people I have lost, but you are different than I am, you have a light in your heart I don’t possess, and I envy that. I don’t know your feelings for Genma, but don’t feel too bad, he’s surprisingly patient and forgiving. He was very worried for you.”

She nodded slowly. This was the most he had ever opened up to her, and what she had told them was a lie, her family wasn’t dead, it wasn’t an obligation to their memories, but she couldn’t tell them that, she needed to keep the lie. When Kakashi felt satisfied she was better and that her could give her space, he said he would check on her later and to let him know if she needed anything. As Kakashi opened the door she saw him pick something up from the floor, he turned around and had a bouquet of red tulips with a note. She took them from him.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked as he saw her bite her lip in worry.

She shook her head, “No, you can go. Thank you again Kakashi.” He walked out and left her alone. She looked at the beautiful tulips and the note, she put the flowers down to open the envelope. He had neat and curly handwriting.

_I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I still want to be your friend if you’ll let me. Come find me when you’re ready.  
-Genma_

She choked back tears, she had been the one to hurt him not the other way around. She breathed in the tulips, fresh and sweet, it was calming. She put them in water and read his note over a few times. She touched her lips, his kisses had felt like sunshine, he was only the second person she had ever really kissed, that one with Naruto didn’t really count that was a medical necessity, but Sasuke’s kisses were gentle and tentative, like he wasn’t sure if he should be kissing her, she would have to coax him to be bolder. Genma’s kisses were soft but demanding, like he knew he wanted her but also wanted to care for her. She needed to fix this.

Sakura stood in front of Genma’s apartment, she was holding a bag of steamed buns as she shifted nervously on her feet. Her hand shook as she knocked on his door. She almost wished he wasn’t home, then she scolded herself for her cowardice. She heard shuffling behind the door and then the click of it opening. She looked at him, his face at first surprised then relieved. He was in shorts and a t-shirt, he looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping, his hair disheveled, why did he look so endearing?

“Genma, I’m…”

She was cut off as he embraced her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you, or make you feel confused. Forgive me.”

She let her head fall into his chest, “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have run off like that, I just didn’t know how to handle it.” He released her from his arms, she missed his warmth already. “I, uh, brought dinner, I thought you would like it better than flowers.” She said shyly. He took her hand as he let her in.

He turned to her, “We’re ok?”

She nodded, “Yes we’re ok, but Genma, I can’t give you what you want. I can’t deny I’m attracted to you, but there are reasons I can’t give you what you want and I can’t share these reasons with you.” She worried her lower lip.

He watched her, she had secrets, and he couldn’t judge her for them, it just broke his heart. He nodded, “Then I guess I’ll hold on to the memory of your kisses next to my heart.” He grinned.

She scoffed lightly and shook her head, she felt herself blush at the memory, “It was a good one.”

“If you ever get lonely I’m here.” He winked at her.

She was kneeling in front of the Hokage, Itachi and another ANBU next to her. “Akemi, I have a very special request for you. One of Itachi’s team has been captured and needs rescuing. You have proven yourself to be adept at infiltration and your medical skills may also be needed. You will assist Team Crow as a temporary ANBU operative. Your code name will be Hana.”

Sakura nodded as she accepted her mission. She walked out and followed Itachi. He took her to ANBU headquarters, she went to pick up her uniform, she had been assigned a blank mask with vines on either side, a flower at the center. Instead of a sword she was supplemented with a larger medic pack. She was unsure of the clothes she was holding, she wasn’t an assassin, but that wasn’t what her mission called for, she hoped it was a quick mission.

“You should go try it on, make sure it all fits.” Itachi pointed to changing rooms. She nodded and walked in.

She was standing in front of a mirror, she didn’t recognize herself, she felt dangerous. The vest hugged her curves, the gloves went up to her biceps, metal gauntlets, calf length sandals, and lastly the mask, it sat heavy on her face but she liked it. She pulled her hair up in a ponytail, letting her bangs fall around the porcelain. She went out to look for Itachi, she found him, he looked her over and nodded in approval.

“One last thing.” He placed his hand on her left arm and marked her with the swirling fire pattern the ANBU all had. “It’s temporary, but we need you to look the part as best as possible Hana.”

“Hai taicho.” She had another name to become, another person that she needed to be.

“Go pack, we will leave at sundown.” He left her.

She started walking out the building when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see his mask and white hair.

“What are you doing in ANBU uniform?” Kakashi would never guess she would accept being ANBU, but here she was in uniform and the tattoo.

“I have a mission.” She replied, her eyes traveled down his mask, she noticed his shoulders, he had delicate but muscular shoulders.

He reached for her hair and let it fall through his fingers. “What’s your name?”

She watched as he played with her hair, “Hana.” It reminded her of the way he brushed it a few days back. She wanted to lean into his hand.

“Hana. It fits you. Be careful out there Hana. Come back safe.” He let go of her hair ran his fingers down her arm that had the ANBU marking, he faltered a moment as if wanting to say something else, but then walked off.

Itachi, the other who she learned his name to be Kah, and herself were traveling swiftly and quietly through the forest. Their mission, as Itachi had explained before leaving was to reach the mountains that bordered the Land of Rivers, there were caves that were being used by rebel shinobi. They had captured their comrade, Shi, in an effort to extract information about Konoha. They were to find their hideout and rescue Shi. Sakura followed Kah as Itachi took the rear guard. They traveled through the night, they stopped in the morning for a quick break and a breakfast of food pills.

Itachi approached her, “Sorry its not more.” He motioned at the food pills in his hand.

“No worries, I’m used to it. I’m usually dispatched for medical emergencies so I don’t have time to rest on my way to my patients. Are you both doing ok with chakra? We have been going all night.”

Kah nodded, ‘Yes I’m fine for now.”

“Ok, lets finish up and get going, we have another twelve hours before we reach our destination.” Itachi finished his pills, they followed.

It was dark when they made it to base of the mountains. Kah was a sensory ninja, he sat cross legged and went into a meditative state as he searched the mountains for the hideout . After about ten minutes he came out of his meditation and shook his head. They moved to another area and repeated the process. Around the third time, Sakura gave him chakra to let him continue.

“She should come with us always taicho.” She could hear his appreciation through his joke. Itachi made a noise of what she thought was acknowledgement.

Around the fifth mountain site he found an occupied cave. Itachi summoned a crow to go in and investigate. They waited for information back. When the crow came back and confirmed that Shi was inside and being tortured, they moved. They got close to the mountain, Kah was an earth type, he had a special jutsu that allowed him to move himself and others through earth. It felt like swimming through heavy water. He brought them out to behind a large rock. She stayed as Kah took Itachi to his position. Since her primary objective was healing, she waited until she was needed. She peeked over the side of the boulder and counted ten shinobi, she saw a woman stripped down to her panties and shredded tank top, her hands and feet bound. She assumed that was Shi, she didn’t look very good, her breathing shallow, cuts and bruises over her tan skin.

At the moment the shinobi were sitting around the fire, eating, her stomach roiled, she clenched her fists, but didn’t move. Then in the darkness she saw two blood red eyes glowing. All the enemy shinobi fell unconscious in seconds. She had never witnessed Itachi’s power, she couldn’t help but be awestruck. Kah rushed over to Shi and released her from her restraints, Sakura reached them in a flash. She looked over her body, she bent down to listen to her heartbeat, faint and erratic, her breathing hard and shallow. She heard her groan, “It’s ok I have you, don’t talk.” Sakura started healing her, she formed a white chakra ball between her hands and healed her lungs and heart. Itachi and Kah were in defensive positions around her, she tried to work quickly, they couldn’t stay long but she wanted her stabilized first.

She felt the ground rumble as a fissure tried to swallow them up. Sakura had quickly grabbed Shi and jumped out of the way, Kah landed next to her. She gave Shi to Kah. “She’s healed enough to be out of danger, take her and get out of here.”

“But you’re the medic, I need to protect you too.” He grabbed her hand.

Sakura pulled it back, “Nothing will happen to me, I need to make sure Itachi has back up and you’re the best choice to get Shi out safely, so go.” She commanded, he nodded and sank into the rock with Shi.

She jumped to Itachi’s side, he quirked his head at her, she assumed he was surprised. “She’s out of danger, I told Kah to take her and get out of here.” He nodded.

A wave of rock came at them, she stood her ground and smashed through it, Itachi bolted forward, she followed behind him, he released his fireball jutsu, a torrent of water canceled it out. So a water and earth user was their opponent. The steam made it hard to see, she continued to run forward, trying to escape the steam. She felt the air around her change and flipped back to the wall, she had narrowly avoided being sliced by a sword. She perched herself on the side of the cavern as she tried to see where her attacker was coming from. Huge boulders were being shot at her. Sakura gritted her teeth, she dodged a few, others she threw back. As the dust settled she saw Itachi in combat, so there were two shinobi, probably the guards at the entrance. She turned her attention back to her enemy, she located him, with a jolt of chakra to her feet she jumped down slamming her fist down cratering the ground, she saw the shinobi in the air and jumped up to deliver a finishing punch. She heard the sick crunch of bones breaking as her fist landed. She grinned. Then she felt a sharp pain on her chest, she looked down, a sword was protruding through her chest, the ninja she had punched disintegrated into rock, a stone clone.

Sakura grimaced in pain, she saw Itachi from the corner of her eye, his step faltered. She reached behind her and pushed the sword deeper and landed an elbow on the surprised shinobi’s side sending him flying, Sakura pulled out the sword from her back and threw it at Itachi’s opponent, giving Itachi an opening to use his genjutsu. Sakura landed on the ground, she activated her seal and healed herself. Fuck, she forgot how much that hurt. Itachi rushed to her side. “I’m ok. Let’s get out of here.” They ran out of the mountain. At the entrance she turned around and punched the wall, the mountain caving in. they found Kah and Shi, they moved through the land until Itachi deemed it safe enough for them to stop. Sakura went back to healing Shi.

“You were stabbed through the chest.” Itachi said simply.

She couldn’t read his expression with the mask still on. “I can heal myself from injuries that would normally be fatal.”

He nodded as he went to patrol and set traps around the area. Sakura insisted on taking first watch she wanted to keep an eye on Shi. Itachi came to relieve her but stopped her before she jumped down from their lookout. “Can I ask you something about your lover?”

Sakura sat back down and nodded, not sure what else to do.

“Was he a good shinobi?”

Sakura was glad for their masks, she was surprised at his question. She thought of Sasuke, of everything he had gone through, everything he had put her and Naruto through. “He made mistakes, grave mistakes. He lost someone he loved very much and took a dark path, but eventually made his way back.”

“And then he died.” Itachi said gently.

She nodded slowly, “Yes he died trying to be a good shinobi for his village.” She figured her fake dead lover should have a noble death. She wished she could tell him not to do it, not to be the person that takes Sasuke down that dark path but she bit her tongue. “If that’s all?” He nodded, she jumped down and crawled into her sleeping bag, dreaming of a life where Itachi had not massacred the Uchiha’s, Sasuke was happy and in love with her, Sarada had an uncle and grandparents. 

They made it back to the village, Sakura took Shi to the hospital to finish recuperating as Itachi and Kah went to give their report in person. She went home and was surprised to find Kakashi waiting at her door, he was in his own ANBU gear, his mask off. His lean form angled against the wall, she really liked him in ANBU gear, it showed off his arms. He straightened up as she reached her door.

“Have you been waiting long?” She asked him as she opened her door and walked in,

“No, I just saw Itachi, he said you had gone to the hospital to drop off Shi.” He walked in after her and closed the door.

She took off her pack and then her mask. She put them on the table. “Checking up on me Kakashi?” She smiled kindly at him.

“Something like that. It was your first ANBU mission. How do you feel?” He went to her cupboards and pulled out glasses that he filled with water and brought one to her as he drank another.

She chuckled at how comfortable he had become around her, she took the glass and drank. “It was a rescue mission, so it wasn’t too bad.”

“Heard you smashed a mountain.” She wasn’t sure but she thought she heard a playful tone from him, he was teasing her.

“I only caved it in.” She grinned. She started taking off her arm guards but couldn’t undo the clip at the top, it was stuck.

“Here.” He reached out his hand, she relinquished her arm to him, he had it unsnapped in a few quick movements of his deft fingers and then moved to the other arm. “There’s a trick to them.”

“Hopefully I won’t have to learn it.” She peeled off the long gloves. “This is supposed to be a once in a lifetime occurrence.” She moved to unsnap her vest.

“Oh? That’s too bad, you look good as an ANBU.” He watched as she threw her vest to a chair, the tank top underneath hugging her ever curve, then his eye caught the tear in the middle of her chest.

She scoffed, “It’s too intense for me. Don’t know how you do it.”

“What’s this?” He reached to touch her shirt where it was torn.

Sakura blushed, his hand in the middle of her chest. She looked down and realized what he was pointing to. “Oh nothing, I just got stabbed.”

He grabbed her and turned her sideways and looked at her back, “You were impaled, how is that nothing?”

“It was nothing, I’m fine.” She brushed him off.

He laughed lightly, “You get stabbed through your chest and its not big deal to you.”

“Yeah, it’s certainly not the first time.” She was enjoying his look of surprise.

He shook his head and chuckled. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Sing, I’m terrible.” She joked. “I’m hungry, want to get something to eat?”

He nodded as she walked toward her dresser, she quickly pulled off her torn shirt leaving her in bindings as she slipped another shirt on. Her bindings had blood on them.

“All right, let’s go.” She hadn’t thought much of switching shirts in front of him, he had seen her in less clothes before, but she caught a shadow of something cross his eye before he turned away from her.

They were walking down the street, she turned to watch his half-lidded eye, giving the illusion that he was always tired, “Kakashi, why are you being so kind to me recently?”

He quirked his head, “Hmm? Well you looked sad and lonely. Then that day you said people help, and you had no one around you.”

She was surprised at his answer, then giggled. “Thank you for being there for me.”

He gave her a rare smile, “It’s what friends do right?”

She felt her heart glow, “Friends.” She smiled back.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave you're thoughts, it makes me want to write!
> 
> Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy.  
> There aren't going to be too many more chapters, I think this story will be wrapping up in 2/3 more chapters.  
> Let me know what you think. Thank you for your time!

The autumn air was flowing into her open window, her curtains billowing as she opened her eyes. She felt like she could smell the blood in the air. She hadn’t slept that night, her stomach roiling from the horror she knew was happening and was powerless to stop, that night Sasuke was the sole survivor of the Uchiha Massacre. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying through the night. She knew the village would wake up in shock of the news, she remembered this morning, how she felt a great sadness when she found out but didn’t understand the loss until years later. She couldn’t even go to Sasuke and comfort him, she had to keep her distance.

She got up from bed on shaky legs and had to face the day as Akemi. After showering, she drank her coffee black letting the bitter taste fill her mouth. She heard a knock at her door. She set her coffee down and opened it. Genma stood in front of her, he was still processing what had occurred that night. He seemed melancholy.

“The Hokage is requesting your presence.” He said without a smile, or a joke or even a pick up line. His eyes who normally held mirth looked solemn.

Sakura nodded, grabbed her pouches, put on her sandals and followed him quietly. She dropped on a knee when she entered the Hokage’s office. Lord Third looked up, his old eyes filled with great sadness. “Akemi, you have shown great skill in your medical jutsu, last night a great tragedy befell the Uchiha clan, the only survivor being Uchiha Sasuke. I would like you to care for him.”

Sakura looked up in shock, “Hokage-sama, I must regret to inform you that I cannot fulfill your request.”

He looked at her in surprise, it wasn’t often that a shinobi refused a direct order from him. “May I ask why?”

“I cannot interfere with that generation of shinobi. As much as I would like to, I have to keep my distance.” She looked at him pleadingly, hoping he understood.

He nodded slowly, “I see. I will find someone else to care for him. You are dismissed for the moment then.”

She hung her head and left. She sat in her balcony, she didn’t want to be down in the village listening to all the gossip and shock of the devastating news. She had gone through it once, she had never imagined she would be going through this day again. Around the middle of the afternoon, she saw Kakashi jump to his own balcony and shakily open his window before entering. There was a look in his eye, hollow and dark, she was immediately concerned. She stood up and wondered if she should give him some time or if she should check on him. She sat back deciding to give him time.

Around dinner time, she brought him miso soup with eggplants, his favorite. She knocked on his door softly. “Kakashi, I brought food.” He didn’t answer. She knocked again, “Kakashi I know you’re in there.” Nothing. She started to worry. She went back to her apartment and jumped to his balcony, she opened his window, her heart dropped as all color fell from her face.

“Noo! Kakashi!” Tears falling from her face as she reached him. He was slumped on the floor, he was holding a kunai to his wrist. She could see him shivering, tears flowing down his eyes, absorbed by his mask. She ripped the kunai from his hand and threw it across the room. “No, no, no.” She checked his wrists, his arms, he was limp in her hands. He hadn’t cut himself she realized and that made her heart start beating again. “Idiot, why would you?” She lifted his head, he started hyperventilating. “Oh gods Kakashi. Look at me.” His eyes wouldn’t focus on her. “Kakashi, breathe for me, breathe.” She knew from treating children with anxiety attacks to breathe with them so they could follow her rhythm. He wasn’t following her. In an act of desperation she did the one thing she would never thought she would do, she pulled down his mask and to her astonishment he let her, but he was also close to passing out. “Kakashi stay with me, breathe for me.” She moved him off the wall to lay on the floor. She pressed her chakra into his chest calming him, forcing his lungs to relax, she gave him mouth to mouth to get oxygen to his brain, then she put him to sleep.

He woke up, a soft glow of moonlight filling his room, his heart felt heavy, like his blood was lead, moving was hard, but he realized his head was resting on something soft, and it was thumping softly, soothingly. He realized he was on someone’s chest, a woman’s chest. He breathed in, Akemi, he was lying on Akemi. Her fingers were gently brushing back his hair, her other hand on his back pacifying him. He sunk into her comforting touches, he wrapped his arm around her and fell back asleep.

Sakura had held him through the night, he had two more panic attacks, she had calmed him each time and put him back to sleep. She knew that touch was a sedative, she would usually hold the children when they had panic or anxiety attacks, She managed to get him on his sleeping mat, she didn’t leave his side all night and the next morning. He held her firmly, as if she would leave him, his head on her chest so he could hear her heart, she soothed him with touches letting him fall in and out of consciousness. The next day she heard a knock on his door, she gently disentangled herself from his arms and went to open his door. She saw Genma and stepped out, softly closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he looked her over, she knew what it looked like, her hair messed up, the rest of her disheveled.

“Um, Kakashi is not doing well. Did you need him?” She didn’t owe Genma an explanation at her appearance.

“The Hokage is requesting him.” He said with a forceful tone.

“He can’t go right now. Tell the Hokage that he is no condition for active duty right now and that I am taking care of him.” She stood straighter, her voice firm as she stared down Genma.

“The Hokage won’t accept that.” Genma stared back.

“Tell him I am deeming him unfit for duty, as a medic I have that right.” She was too tired to have this confrontation.

Genma softened, he could see the weariness in her face. “Is he really that bad?”

She nodded, “Tell the Hokage I will give my report as soon as I can.” She turned back to open the door but was stopped by his hand on her arm. He pulled her towards him and kissed her forehead like he always did, it made her feel better, like he had dripped tranquility into her. She sighed and wrapped her arms around him, he hugged her back, he rubbed his face in her hair.

“I’ll come by later to see how he’s doing.” He felt her nod into his chest. He didn’t want to let her go, it seemed she was also in need of some comfort. She breathed in deep and separated from him.

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.” She gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and walked back in. She looked over at Kakashi, he was shivering, she kneeled next to him, her hand on his forehead, he was burning up. She filled a bowl with ice water and put cold towels on his forehead and shoulders to cool him down. He was moaning like he was in pain, he must be having a fever dream. She held his hand and brushed his hair, she had to wait it out. Genma had dropped off dinner, she had set it aside not feeling hungry as she kept her vigil over Kakashi. He was still fevering and mumbling in his sleep. She caught the words, Father, Rin, Itachi, Obito, Minato-sensei, he apologized to them in his sleep.

Sakura looked down at herself, she hadn’t showered since yesterday morning, she thought about going to her apartment, but she didn’t want to leave him for any reason if she could avoid it. She decided she would go get a change of clothes but shower in his apartment. She quickly cleaned up and dressed and went back to his side.

It was one more day when his fever broke, he woke up feeling sore and heavy, a soft rhythmic thumping filled his ear, he was on Akemi’s chest again. He breathed in her sweet soothing scent. He could tell she was still sleeping, her breathing low and soft, his arms around her waist, her hands holding him against her. He noticed his mask was missing, but he found he wasn’t upset about it. He wondered how long he had been out, the sun was rising, light filling his apartment. He felt her shift under him, her hands rubbing his back and arms unconsciously. He buried his head into her chest letting her take care of him and fell back asleep.

He was woken up with her soft caresses on his scalp, he heard her whisper his name, he liked the way his name sounded in her voice. He opened his eyes slowly, her breasts in front of him, he sat up slowly, he noticed his hands where on her thighs, she was in sleep shorts and a tank top, he quickly let her go. “I’m sorry.”

She sat up and put her hands on his face, “Don’t be sorry, it’s ok.” He brushed back his hair and felt his forehead. “Your fever’s broken, you were out for three nights, how do you feel?”

“I feel tired and heavy.” He felt tears start falling down his face, she brushed them of with her thumbs.

“Tell me.” She could feel her own eyes stinging with unshed tears.

“I couldn’t save them, any of them. I failed.” He sounded hoarse through the emotions in his heart.

“I found you with a kunai on your wrist. Where you thinking…” She choked at the last part, she couldn’t say it.

He breathed in and slowly shook his head. “I was wondering how he could have done it, to be pushed to that point. And I get it now, to lose your reputation over a choice, how difficult it is to come back, how easy it seems to give up. I failed Itachi, I should have been more present, I failed Rin and Obito. I failed every Uchiha that night, seeing their faces, the men, the women, the children, all gone. I failed.” He sobbed into her shoulder, she cried with him, it felt good to let it out for her.

As his cries subsided, she rubbed his back, “I know it seems difficult to believe right now, but someday you will find a reason to smile again, but right now, just let yourself feel what you need to feel. I’m here for you.” She kissed the top of his head.

He wiped his face as he lifted himself from her comforting hands, “I need a shower.” He felt dirty, he needed to get clean.

She nodded as he got up and went to the bathroom. She cleaned up and set to making breakfast, maybe she could coax him to eat something. She was startled when she heard a crash in the bathroom, she rushed in and saw him sitting on the tiled floor, he’s knees up, he was shaking again. She saw the shampoo bottle shattered its contents splayed across the tile. Her heart broke for him, she stepped in the shower with him, clothes and all, and sat down with him letting the water fall on them. He leaned on her, pulling her to him. She took his face in her hands, she kissed his forehead, his temples, his cheeks.

“Kakashi, you are loved.” He sobbed harder.

“How can anyone love me after everything I’ve done?” She pressed her forehead against his.

“Because through all your lose, you are still kind. You try to hide it, but someday you will let it out.” She watched his stormy eyes.

“How can you be sure? My hands are dripping in blood.” He didn’t understand her confidence.

“I’ll tell you a secret.” She lifted his face so she could see into her eyes. “I can see the future.” She smiled at him, he let out a choked laugh. “And these hands,” She reached for them kissing his knuckles, “Will lead others and pick them up when they are hurting. You have been there for me when I needed you. Don’t loose faith in yourself.” She grabbed the remnants of the shampoo bottle and took the remaining liquid and washed his hair.

He closed his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp, letting himself be taken care of, not something he was used to. He wasn’t used to anyone trying to be in his life, well other than Gai, the idea of Gai washing his hair actually made him chuckle.

“Is something funny?” Sakura looked down at him with a soft smile.

“Just thank you.” He took her hands and brought them to his lips.

Sakura flushed, “Anytime, I am your medic, and your friend.” She stood up, “I should let you finish, and I should get some dry clothes.” She chuckled sheepishly.

He looked up at her, water trickling down her toned legs, thin fabric clinging to her skin, he stood up, he saw her face redden as she turned to look away from him, she was adorable when she blushed. He bent down to kiss her forehead. “You are beautiful in every way.” Her face deepened in color.

Sakura was trying not to look down at him. She was aware he could probably see everything through her wet clothes, she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She made a sound of embarrassment and ducked out of the shower, she grabbed a towel and walked out, her heart was racing, seeing him completely naked, no mask, was an experience her body was definitely reacting to. He was better looking than her fantasies.

Kakashi lightened at her reaction, he finished showering and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked out and noticed she wasn’t there. He felt his heart palpitating against his chest, his breathing shortened, he sat down on the couch head between his hands. He was ok, she probably just went to her apartment, she would be back, he needed to breath, he couldn’t expect her to be at his side always to calm him down. Then a flood of relief as she stepped back through his window and she put her hands on his shoulders.

“Kakashi, I’m right here. What do you need?” She knelt down, worry written all over her face.

He looked up at her emerald eyes, how did she have such a calming affect on him? “I just… you calm me.” He looked both ashamed and relieved.

“It’s ok, I’ll be by your side.” She grabbed his hands, holding him tight. “How about you get dressed and then you try to eat something?”

He put on pants and a tank top, leaving his mask down, he figured she had already seen all of him anyways. He ate slowly, he didn’t finish everything but she took the plate and then cleaned up. “You don’t have to stay Akemi.” He finally managed to say, he couldn’t hold her to him, it was more than enough that she had stayed with him for days watching over him.

She was washing dishes, she turned to him, “I have been assigned as your personal medic. Of course I have to stay with you. It’s my mission and I want to.” She smiled warmly.

“Assigned as my medic?” He had never heard of such a thing.

“I told the Hokage that his most talented ANBU captain needed a medic, I told him I would take care of you. He agreed and made it official. At least until I say you’re ok to be back on active duty.” She dried the dishes and put them away.

“Still, you don’t have to watch over me day and night.” He grumbled.

“I’ll do what I think is best and what you need. For the time being you’re stuck with me.” She walked over and ran her fingers through his hair. “Do you want to go outside? There’s a nice sunflower field not far from the village.”

“I’m not a child Akemi, I can take care of myself.” He said it with more irritation than he meant to, he didn’t know why he was feeling this way, she had been nothing but kind to him.

Sakura stilled, she bit her lip, she took her hands back from his hair and put them at her side. She was smothering him and he was aggravated. “It was just a suggestion. I can give you space if you would like.” She walked over to collect some of her things. She wasn’t being unkind, but maybe it was about time she let him be on his own so he could think.

Kakashi felt awful, he hung his head as she grabbed her things. He didn’t want her to go, but he didn’t want her to stay either, he had monopolized her life for the past few days and seen him at his worst. He felt her touch his arm lightly, he didn’t lift his head, not wanting to see the disappointment on her face.

“I will be in my apartment if you need me for anything.” She said softly, “And if you need a shoulder or you don’t want to be alone anymore, I’m here.” He nodded in understanding.

Sakura fell on her couch, she thought about the last three days, she had spent them tangled up in Kakashi’s arms, his face bared to her. She had never seen him so vulnerable, all she wanted to do was hold him and soothe him and care for him. She reminded herself this was also caring for him, he needed time by himself to figure things out, and she had taken all sharp objects from his place so she should have to worry about that. She made a quick run to the market, took a real shower and settled into reading. That night she was lying in bed ready to sleep when she heard a gentle rapping on her window, she got up and Kakashi was standing on her balcony. She let him in.

He was fidgeting but didn’t say anything. She sat on her bed and motioned for him to sit next to her. “Want to keep me company tonight?” She asked gently, she wanted to make it sound like it was for her benefit, he might be more agreeable. He nodded, she laid down and pulled him into her chest so he could sleep. He did this for a couple more nights, or he would just show up in her living room reading. He didn’t talk about Itachi or his Father again, he had a few more anxiety attacks that she helped him through, but she was glad he was at least going to her, that he didn’t want to be alone.

The air was less stifling now that fall was approaching, it had been weeks since The Massacre, she was jumping through the trees following her tiacho. She was back in ANBU gear, she was not exactly happy about being in ANBU gear again, but at the same time she couldn’t deny that growing up she had always wondered about the secretive teams that the Hokage commanded. They had to be the best of the best, and she even indulged in a fantasy once or twice of wearing the porcelain mask and white vest. Yet as she grew older she realized the types of missions ANBU were famous for, assassination, espionage and other less desirable missions, she stopped wanting to be ANBU after that. Yet here she was, in a porcelain mask and the white vest.

She had been assigned with Kakashi, this was his first mission back and she had been assigned to accompany him in case he needed her, they were to look into a rumored secret base for Kiri shinobi near the Land of Swamps. Tenzo and Yugao had been sent to search another area. The area had many rivers and canyons, they spent days looking until they finally found a cavern that seemed to have been abandoned recently. They entered the cave, Kakashi sniffed the air.

“There were shinobi here recently, within the last twenty-four hours. They seem to have left in a hurry.” He walked around, a light stick in his hand.

“Maybe they sensed us coming?” She cracked her own stick to illuminate the dark cavern.

“Maybe.” He walked carefully, in case of traps.

“Kak… Ro, I think there’s something over here.” She still had a hard time remembering to call him by his ANBU name. She felt him approach her from the side. “Does that sound like water rushing?”

He angled his head to hear better, he sniffed, “Yeah, like an underground river.”

She stepped forward gently, she couldn’t see more than two feet in front of her, there was a thick mist obscuring everything. “Does this mist seem normal to you?”

He shook his head, “No, it’s a Kiri jutsu. Be careful. We have to stay together.” He followed her into the darkness.

Sakura was stepping lightly, her body strung ready to attack at any moment. She made sure to always keep track of Kakashi behind her so they wouldn’t get separated. Then suddenly she was falling, she screamed. She felt Kakashi reach for her, but he fell with her, then ropes wrapped around them tying them together. They fell on the ground and she heard a sick crunch and Kakashi grunt in pain.

“What’s broken?” She asked as they rolled over to their sides. She noticed her hands were tied behind her as were his. She looked around but didn’t hear or see anything. It must have been a trap. If it was just her she could have just broken the ropes with her strength, but she was tied to Kakashi and he wouldn’t survive that.

Kakashi gritted his teeth, “My left ankle.” He huffed. He tried to test the strength of the ropes, they were chakra enhanced, they could only be broken with stronger chakra. He wiggled his fingers, she stiffened as he realized his hands were on her lower back, very low. He blushed. “Sorry, I don’t mean to…”

“No it’s ok, can you move your hands up to the ropes?” She was glad for their masks, she was blushing furiously as his hands moved over her backside.

He tried to move his hands, trying not to worry about her anatomy, she seemed to just want him to get to the ropes. She sucked in a breath and tried to push herself as close to him as possible so he could have space, he breathed in but the ropes were too tight. He shook his head. “No sorry I can’t move.

“Shit, ok. How bad is your ankle?” She was trying to think.

“Its fine.” He mumbled.

“Don’t lie to your medic Ro. How bad?” Her voice chastising and firm.

He sighed, “It’s bad.”

“Ok, I can do the signs for healing since my hands are together, but I need to get my chakra to you. I need to feel your skin.” She rubbed her mask on the ground until it came off. “I can also transfer healing chakra through my lips, like when I do mouth to mouth.”

He stilled, “Mouth to mouth?”

“Well that would be the best way since I can’t use my hands.” She couldn’t hide the pink tint on her cheeks. “You need to put your lips on mine.”

He wasn’t sure she was being serious or not. “You want me to kiss you.”

“We can’t move because of your broken ankle, I am suggesting healing you the only way I know how right now.” She said, irritation in her voice.

He huffed, “Fine.” He knocked his porcelain mask off, he tilted forward for her to pull down his other mask with her teeth. He leaned forward until their noses touched. He felt her doing hand signs behind her back, she leaned into him, their lips touching lightly, and then he felt her warm chakra flowing through him and circling his ankle. He moaned softly in relief as she healed him, the pain dissipating. Without thinking he pressed harder onto her lips, as if more pressure would alleviate his pain.

Sakura felt his lips on hers, they were soft and warm and full. She never thought she would be in this situation with Kakashi, even if it was for medical reasons. She felt herself getting hot, she shook her thoughts and focused on healing him. She squeaked in surprise as his tongue gently licked her lips.

He pulled back, “I’m so sorry.” He didn’t know how he could let himself be caught up in the feeling of her lips, the need to taste her had been overpowering.

“Come back I’m not done.” She was sure her face was beet red, but she was still a medic and she needed him healed, but maybe she was enjoying his lips more than was medically necessary.

“I think I’ll just die right here from embarrassment if that’s ok.” He murmured.

She laughed, “Well if you die I die and I can’t have that, so suck it up and let me finish healing you.” She was trying to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, to make him feel comfortable.

He felt her lean forward, he gingerly leaned back to her, he forced himself to keep contact to a minimum, no matter how soft her lips were.

Sakura knew he was probably reacting to the warm healing feeling of her chakra, but she was reacting to him, his lips made her a skin prickle with excitement. After she was finished, she gave him a small peck on the lips. “Ok all done, how does your ankle feel?” She felt him move it slowly, testing it.

He nodded, “It’s as good as new. Thank you. Now to get untied.”

“Can you sit up?” She brought her legs up around his waist as he maneuvered them up. She tried not to think about how close their pelvises were, and the bulge between them. She cleared her throat, “Can you move your hands to point up to the ropes?”

Kakashi was trying really hard not to move more than he needed to, he kept trying to think of anything that would distract him of the fact that his hands were on her muscular ass, and her legs were wrapped around him, and if he became aroused she would certainly feel it since she was right on top of his groin. He heard her request and steeled himself to move. She leaned into him, pressing herself closer, he groaned.

“Does it hurt?” She asked concerned.

He swallowed, “A little.” It just wasn’t his hands that hurt. He managed to point them up after torturous maneuvering. “Ok now what?”

“Do you trust me?” She asked seriously.

He was taken aback by her tone, “Yes.” He answered slowly.

She swung her head so her hair fell to her side. “I need you to do Raikiri.”

“What?” He was surprised and horrified at her request. “I can’t do that, I’ll seriously hurt you, if not kill you.”

“I can heal myself, trust me.” She activated her seal.

Kakashi was mesmerized as the diamond mark on her forehead glowed and lines started to appear down her face then down her arms.

“Kakashi, now.” She commanded.

With a slight hesitation, he did as told. He pushed his lighting chakra up to the rope, slicing her back. He heard her scream in pain. His heart wrenched at her cries, the rope fell off, he caught her and held her against him. “Hana, are you ok?” He was terrified that it was too much damage for her to heal. He pulled out a flashlight and looked at her back, he could see it healing before his eyes.

“Ow.” She chuckled into his shoulder.

He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead in relief. “That was stupid Hana.”

“But it worked.” She grinned “And I’m fine, just give me a few more seconds.” She let him stroke her hair as she laid on his shoulder. She looked up, he still hadn’t pulled up his mask and caught a small glimpse of his lips and his beauty mark from the faint glow of the light. She smiled to herself.

“How about next time you come up with a better solution than me hurting you?” He said softly.

“I’m healed, it’s nothing.” She reassured.

“I don’t like you in pain.” He muttered. He brought his hand up to her cheek. “Don’t be so reckless.”

She felt her heart stop, he was so close to her, and he seemed so worried for her, it made her ache for him, to try to ease his worries. She felt herself lean up to him, to soothe him. “I’ll try to be more careful.” She whispered.

He felt her moving towards him and instinctually he moved towards her, like a magnetic pull. “See that you are.” Their noses touched, he could feel her sweet breath on his face. In a heartbeat she closed the distance between them, her lips on his, this time it wasn’t medicinal. She made a small noise of approval as he kissed her back.

Sakura sunk into the feeling of his tender and comforting kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as his hands went to her hips. Then she felt it again, the guilt, the shame. She whined, he took that to mean she wanted more, his tongued reached for her lips. She allowed him in, her tongue reaching for his. She melted into him, she couldn’t fight her feelings anymore, she would have to deal with the guilt later, right now she was enjoying the way he was making her feel. Her nails grazed the back of his neck, he moaned, she really liked the way he moaned.

Kakashi was getting lost in the feeling and taste of her. She was sweet and tangy, as their kiss became deeper, he felt her hips moving over him. He growled, he needed to stop, they were still on a mission, he was already getting hard. Then he heard her moan as she grinded over him with more pressure, he hissed. “Hana…” He breathed out between kisses. “We need to stop.”

Sakura didn’t want to stop, she had given into her feelings, she wanted to keep going after all this time of her denying herself, she wanted him. “I don’t want to stop Kakashi.” She pulled him back to her greedily.

The way she said his name made him follow her lead. His hands went down to her thighs. She was moaning into his mouth, he eagerly swallowed it up, she was moving her hips faster, he was rock hard, every movement making him want more. “Akemi…” He knew he had liked her from a long time ago, maybe from the moment he saw her crying on the rooftop gardens, he had fallen for her beautiful eyes. He never expected her to like him back, he wasn’t the type of man women went for, he supposed he didn’t make it easy either, being as standoffish as he was. Yet here she was, nipping at his lips, tugging at his hair, grinding on his lap.

Sakura was letting the pleasure fill her, she was panting as he kissed her neck, his lips finding spots that turned her on. She could feel a spiral of heat forming at the pit of her belly, she could feel his hardness and it excited her to know that his bulge was quite sizable. Then she felt him stiffen, he turned his head as if he had heard something, he lifted them up and set her down on her feet. “What is it?” She whispered.

He bent down to pick up the flashlight and pointed it towards where he thought he heard the noise, he saw it was just small rocks falling down the side of the cavern, knocked loose from the water. He turned back to Akemi, she was picking up their masks, he pulled his up. Their moment broken. He sighed, he adjusted his pants, there were other things they needed to think about, like how to get out.

Sakura had turned away to compose herself, she had been dry humping her sensei, well he wasn’t her sensei here, here he was a twenty-year-old loner, with darkness in his heart but he cared for her and let down his defenses for her and she was very attracted to him. She sighed, she always did like men that had troubled pasts. She thought of Sasuke. She would have to cross that bridge when she came to it. She was tired of beating herself up for the way she felt. She put on her mask, Kakashi came up beside her, his mask already pulled up, he took his porcelain one and put it on. She reached out and touched his ANBU tattoo, he stepped up to her, their masks touching.

“We should find a way out.” He whispered, he ran his fingers over her own marking.

She sighed and nodded. “Well we fell from up there, maybe we should follow the river out?”

“We don’t know how far it goes before it comes back up.” He looked over to the river with his flashlight and pointed down and up the river.

“I could always throw you up.” She grinned.

He chuckled, “I suppose you could, not sure if I would survive though.”

“I’ll be gentle.” She giggled.

He looked at her, squeezed her hand and shrugged. “I trust you, you can heal me after anyways.”

She could hear the humor in his voice. “Who is being reckless now?” She pointed her light up and could make out the ledge where they came from. She stepped back to see where she could get a better angle. “You sure about this?”

“What the hell, you haven’t failed us yet.” He shook himself and went to stand in front of her, she grabbed him by the vest and threw him up. He flipped as she overestimated her strength, he landed in a crouch on the ceiling near the ledge.

“Sorry!” She yelled out.

“It’s fine, I’m here.” He leaped down to the ledge and threw down rope. She grabbed on to it so he could pull her up. She reached the edge, he reached for her hand and pulled her up. “It worked.”

She could hear the smile in his voice, she smiled to herself. “Lucky for you it did. Threw you a bit hard though.” She looked around, “The mist is gone.”

“Looks like it was all part of a trap.” They walked out of the cavern, blocking the light as their eyes adjusted. He was glad to be out of the darkness of the cavern. He looked over at Hana, he could see the huge gash through her vest and shirt. “It seems like the enemy has left this area. We should head back.”

She nodded, she readjusted her ponytail and took off behind him. It was in these moments of solitude, jumping through the forest with nothing to distract her but the sounds of nature that her inner self came out to scold her.

_What are you thinking? You’re married! You have a family! You’re Sakura, not Akemi, not Hana._

Sakura hissed at her inner self, _I’m doing the best I can here, I can’t help it if I’m attracted to both Kakashi and Genma. Here I am Akemi and Hana, I’m not Sakura. I’ll deal with that later._ She snarled at her other self, it seemed to quite those thoughts for the time being.

As they made camp for the night, they had to rendezvous with Tenzo and Yugao the next morning, Sakura took off her vest, she pulled out needle and thread and did a quick patch job on it. She took out a sports bra, she had bindings on but they had fallen off after his Raikiri. She turned her back to Kakashi who was reading. She took off her shirt, she felt his fingers on her back where his Riakiri had slashed her, she shivered at his touch.

“How did you heal yourself? There’s not even a scar.” He said in wonder, his hands trailing down her flawless skin.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest to cover up, “Um, it’s a special jutsu I have. As long as I have chakra, I can’t die when it’s activated.”

“That sounds like a very powerful jutsu.” He reached for her hair tie and pulled it off letting her hair fall down her back. He ran his fingers through her hair.

She sighed, his fingers felt relaxing. “I like you playing with my hair.” She spoke softly.

“No one has ever let me.” He kissed the top of her head and stood up. “I should probably let you get dressed.”

Sakura looked up at him, she wanted him back, his firm body next to hers, she wanted the affection he was giving her, but he was back on his sleeping bag pulling out his book. She thought back to the cavern, he had wanted her then or maybe he was just following her lead, maybe he didn’t like her as much as she thought, she didn’t know if she should be disappointed or not. She slipped on her sports bra and laid down, he was taking first shift.

Kakashi glanced at her from over his book. He hadn’t been able to restrain himself from touching her, he wanted to hold her, and to explore every inch of her soft skin, but he shouldn’t. _Why?_ He startled himself as his inner voice asked, _Why shouldn’t you? She’s beautiful, she wants you, as evidence by the cavern, yes she has a few things to work through but so do you._ He looked over her, she was sleeping on her side, her back to him, he could see the dips of her curves, he wanted to curl up behind her, her body fitting into his. He shook his head, since when did he become such a romantic? He looked down at the book he was holding and scowled at it. He put away Icha Icha and watched the night pass.

Sakura woke up abruptly from a dream, she was breathing hard, she looked around, the camp was empty, Kakashi must have moved to a lookout point. She fell back down and sighed, it had been a very good dream, one she shouldn’t be having, but she flushed as she remembered it. She rubbed her legs together and groaned, she was being so stupid, she had dreamed of Kakashi then it switched to Genma and finally to Sasuke. She felt her face heat up as she remembered the things they were doing to her in her dream. She shook herself and groaned in frustration. She took a gulp of water, looked up at the sky, it was about time for her to relieve Kakashi and take over watch for the rest of the night.

Kakashi was sitting on a branch watching the night sky, he smelled her before he saw her, she landed on the branch next to him. “Hana, you’re early.” He looked at her, she was in her ANBU pants and sports bra, no mask on, her hair still down, her face was flushed, there was a light sheen on her skin.

“I had a bad dream.” She lied, “I can’t go back to sleep now, I can take over if you want.”

He sniffed the air, there was a musky sweet scent from her that he knew to be desire, he felt a hot pressure in his chest, he needed space from her, this new feeling between them couldn’t be explored in the middle of a mission. He stood up, “I’ll leave it to you then.” He jumped down, breathing in the clean forest air.

Sakura breathed out, there seemed to be an electricity in the air as he looked at her, his eyes darkened, she wondered what that meant. She sat down where he had just vacated, it was still warm from his body. She needed to get a hold of herself, but she hadn’t had a release in such a long time, and being around all these attractive men was getting to her, to be twenty again. She remembered that right after they were married, she left with Sasuke for a year, there was a reason she got pregnant so quickly, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Thinking of Sasuke didn’t help, she remembered his touch, she looked up at the sky trying to name all the constellations.

They headed back to Konoha after meeting up with Tenzo and Yugao, they had cleared one secret base of shinobi. She left the Hokage Tower after their report and walked to her apartment. She showered and gave herself two orgasms. One for Kakashi and one for Genma. She fell on her bed feeling the coiling pressure slightly relieved. She hugged her pillows, happy to be back in her bed, she fell asleep in the middle of the day. She was woken up by a knock on her door, she groggily got up and saw Genma.

“Is this going to become a little tradition? You come over every time I come back from a mission?” She smirked as she let him in, “No food this time?”

He laughed, “Maybe I’m spoiling you.”

“But I like being spoiled.” She giggled.

“I came because I wanted to see if you wanted to try out the new okonomiyaki place.” He reached for her hand and gave her a smile. “I’m glad your home safe.” 

Sakura blushed, “Me too.” She smiled softly. “And, um, sure I’ll try out the new place. Just give me a second to change.” She pulled back her hand from his and went to her dresser, she grabbed some clothes and changed in the bathroom. She threw on a black skirt and a green flowy tank top, she slipped on some black strappy civilian sandals and followed Genma out.

“How was your mission?” He turned to her, he had missed seeing her beautiful face since she was gone. He supposed that’s why always tried to come see her as soon as he knew she was back.

“It was fine and top secret.” She grinned.

“Yes I know, you’re on ANBU missions now, can’t say a word.” He chuckled. He reached for her hand again, “I still worry about you is all.”

She looked down at their hands, he kept walking without releasing her, she let him. “What, don’t you trust me?” She grinned.

“I trust you to be reckless.” He laughed.

She giggled, “Kakashi said the same thing.” They were walking down the street and she couldn’t help but feel that he was claiming her in a way, like she was his for the night as he did with so many women. She wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but she also liked holding his hand.

They sat down and ate as they caught up, she liked watching him as they talked and ate, he smiled often, his eyes bright, his good mood was contagious, she always felt better when she was around him. with Sasuke, she always had to be the cheery one, he would always tell her she was like spring to him, she calmed and soothed him, but here, Genma was making her smile and laugh, he felt like a bright summer day. She couldn’t help but reach out to him, she could see the surprise in his face as she took his hand, he squeezed her softly and then kept on talking like it was no big deal. He walked her back home, she leaned against her door, he brushed back her hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She breathed him in, like sunshine.

“I missed you.” He said softly.

“Me too. You always cheer me up. Thank you.” She looked into his chocolate eyes. She could see conflict, like he wanted more.

He cleared his throat. “I’ll see you around.” He stepped away from her slowly and left.

Her heart ached as he walked away, taking with him all the joyful feelings he gave her.

She was knocking on Kakashi’s door the next day, he let her in. “I have been released as your medic, I won’t have to accompany you on missions anymore.” She said as she looked him over, he was in shorts and tank top. He looked like he had just woken up. “Hey sleepy head, it’s noon.” She reached to him and ruffled his hair as she grinned.

“Is it? I didn’t notice.” He went to the fridge and poured himself a glass of water, he drank it quickly.

Sakura watched him, “Did you have trouble sleeping last night?”

He looked over at her and shook his head, “No, I guess I was just tired. No need to worry Akemi.”

She stepped up to him, her hands on his arms, “I’ll always worry about you Kakashi. I’ve heard you’re not talking to anyone, you’re ignoring your friends again, you’re not eating.”

He played with a piece of her hair, he sighed, “I just don’t have the energy for their fussing.”

“Will you let me?” Her eyes serious.

“I opened the door for you didn’t I?” He stroked her hair, it was soothing.

“Why did you?” She placed her hand on his chest, feeling for his heart.

“If I didn’t you would still come in, there’s no stopping you.” He placed his hand over hers. “I can’t deny having a medic on my missions is helpful, I would have had a busted ankle for days if you hadn’t been there. Although, you were the one that fell in the first place, so maybe I would have been fine anyways.”

Sakura could hear the humor in his voice and see the crinkles around his eye as he smiled. “You are teasing me.” She smacked his arm. “That’s not nice.” She chuckled.

“You need to learn to watch your step Akemi.” He stepped forward and pinned her against the counter.

Sakura squeaked as he suddenly caged her in with his body, she felt that familiar heat rise to her face and drop to her stomach. She looked up to his stormy eye, she bit her lip. “Kakashi…” Her hands moved on their own to his mask, she stopped when they reached the edge, waiting to see if he would stop her, he didn’t. She breathed out and pulled it down. Gods he was handsome, sharp cheeks bones, elegant nose, full lips, a little beauty mark, she licked her lips. _You shouldn’t be doing this._ She growled at her inner self. _Just shut up!_ Sakura pulled him down bringing his lips to hers, he tasted earthy and warm.

Kakashi was curious to see what she would do, he was letting her decide what she wanted, but now that she had kissed him, he grabbed her legs and picked her up, their lips still on each other. She hummed as her legs wrapped around his waist, he walked them over to the couch, he set her on her back as he climbed on top of her. She moaned in approval as his tongue slipped past her lips, his hands on her thighs, reaching the edge of her shorts. She was nipping at his lips, he groaned at how good she felt. “Akemi, are you sure?” He said through breathless kisses.

Sakura wondered why he was asking her, then she remembered that she had a total breakdown last time she had made out with Genma months ago. Her inner voice started to bubble up, she squashed it down. “Yes, but I can’t give you all of me.” She broke off their kiss so he could see her eyes.

“Then I’ll take what you give me.” He lowered himself back to her lips, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she returned his kisses.

His lips felt divine, her legs were spread open as he had settled himself between them, she gently rocked her hips against him, he moaned as she pressed herself against his bulge. He was licking behind her ear, “Aah Kakashi… You feel so good.” She breathed out as his hands pressed her hips closer to his. She felt him roll his hips and it hit that little bundle of nerves, her head rolled back as she moaned.

He kissed and licked at her exposed neck as he kept grinding into her, he was lost in every sound of pleasure she was making, the way her chest moved with every breath, her fingers gripping his shirt, she was heaven. He felt her tugging at his shirt, he sat back as he removed it, he could see the hunger in her jade eyes as she watched him. She was wearing a red wrap top, she undid it, letting it fall revealing her black bra, he sucked in a breath as her milky skin was exposed to him. She shrugged off her shirt and climbed on top of him.

Sakura wanted to run her fingers over every muscle of his chest and stomach, he sat back on the couch as she swung her leg over his lap, moving her hips over his groin. He leaned back as she felt his hardness pressed against her sex, she kissed and nibbled at his neck and shoulders. His hands were grabbing her hips firmly, pressing her down on him, she was loving the look of raw pleasure he had on his face, she wondered what he looked like when he climaxed. She blushed at the thought.

Kakashi groaned as her hips started moving faster and harder against him, he felt her reach behind her and undo the clasp of her bra. His eyes widened as she leaned back so he could look at her, her dusty pink nipples hard, he dove down and took one into his mouth. She squeaked in surprise and then hummed as his tongue swirled. She was moving with purpose now, she was mewling over him as he alternated between her mounds. “Gods Akemi, you’re so beautiful.” He took one nipple between his teeth, she cried out.

“Kakashi, oh gods that feels good.” Sakura was feeling that coiling heat in her stomach, but she wanted more. She reached down to her shorts and undid the zipper, she slipped her hand down and stroked her clit. He pulled up his head band, his sharingan spinning as he watched her touch herself. She yelped in surprise as he pushed her down on the couch and took off her shorts and panties leaving her naked to his eyes.

“Keep going.” He said in a husky voice.

Sakura nodded, his voice sending shivers down her spine. He latched on to her breasts again, she saw him reach down his own shorts, stroking himself. She could see the dripping pink head with every upward stroke. “Fuck Kakashi…” She felt so hot, she felt her pussy clenching around emptiness, she whined. “Kakashi… inside… please.” She begged wanting to be filled.

He heard her pleading, his hand went down, he teased her dripping entrance. “You’re so wet.” He mumbled into her breasts. He heard her beg again, her hips pushing into his fingers, he pushed two into her heat, she groaned and sighed as his fingers moved into her slowly.

“Oh yes!” Her fingers moved over her pearl faster as his fingers hooked inside of her touching that sensitive spot inside of her, his mouth still on her breasts, she felt like she was about to fall off the edge. She grabbed on to his hair, she was moaning his name with every movement of his fingers, he bit down on her nipple and with that she fell, she felt the rush of her climax flood her body, the breathlessness as his fingers kept moving.

He let go of her breast and moved up to watch her face as she orgasmed, she was beautiful, eyes closed, lips parted, his named escaping her lips. He kissed her as her climax ebbed, she kissed him as if she didn’t want him to ever let her go, and he didn’t want to let her go. He languidly kissed and nipped at her jaw and neck as she caught her breath. “You’re so beautiful.” He crooned into her skin. She opened her emerald eyes and smiled at him.

Her brain was starting to work again he was on top of her and could feel his hardness on her thigh, “That felt so good. I should return the favor.” She smirked as she reached for his pulsing member. He let out a sharp breath as she gripped him and started stroking him, he was thick and long, she rubbed her hand over his tip getting lubrication.

He was panting as her wrists twisted and tugged gently over his length. He leaned down to feel her lips on his as her hands worked him, her hands felt so good, her hands soft but firm. He moaned as they kissed, he was moving his pelvis into her hands as he felt that pressure at the base of his cock build up. “Akemi… I’m going to…” He groaned as she stroked him harder.

“Yes, cum for me Kakashi.” She wanted to see him, see his face as he succumbed. She was rewarded as he groaned, his cock twitching in her hands, his hot seed spilled over her stomach and her mound. She kissed him hard as he peaked. He fell on top of her, he was smearing his stickiness between them, and a dark part of her enjoyed the mess.

His mind was hazy as they kissed lazily, her hands caressing his back and his arm, his own hands following the curves of her side down her hips and thighs and back up. He had never felt this content ever in his life, he never wanted to leave her arms, or her lips. He moved and felt his orgasm on their skin. “I’m sorry, I made a mess.”

She giggled as she kissed the corner of his mouth where his beauty mark was. “Yes you did.”

He sat up, they both looked down at the white milky splatter all over their stomachs. He felt his heart swell with possessiveness, she was marked with him, she smelled like him, red marks over her chest from him, her skin still flushed from him. He stood up, went to the bathroom and came back with a moist towel, he cleaned her stomach and gently between her legs. She purred as he cleaned her, when he was done, he kissed her stomach, then her hips and then her thighs.

She sighed as his mouth kissed her skin, letting him explore her body. She gasped and arched her back as his tongue slipped past her folds and suckled on her clit. “Oh Kakashi… yes…” She sank into the cushions as his tongue searched for every spot that made her moan, soon enough he had found them all and she was falling into the pleasure again.

He licked up every drop of her orgasm that spilled out of her, loving the taste, she was shaking as she came down from her climax. He smirked at himself and wiped his mouth, she looked spent, her chest heaving, her perfect breasts rising with every breathe. He kissed her lightly, “You taste very good.” He said into her lips, she kissed him harder, her tongue exploring his mouth, tasting herself.

Sakura was lost in his mouth, she wasn’t thinking straight, he felt so good, he made her feel good, better than she had felt in a long time. She broke their kiss, needing to breathe, he sat on the couch, she crawled over to him, she noticed his shorts tenting again. She fell on her knees in front of him, his eyes widened in surprise as she pulled down his shorts, his throbbing length in front of her. She flicked out her tongue at his tip, he gasped, then she licked from top to bottom, focusing on the ridge under the head, he closed his eyes as he moaned.

Her mouth was hot and slick, her tongue nimble and smooth, she would graze her teeth lightly and it would make him see colors in the back of his eye lids. He wrapped her hair around his hand as she bobbed her head, taking him all the way into her throat. She had quickly found how to make him cum again. He released himself into her mouth, he heard her moan as his orgasm filled her mouth. She was gently sucking, milking him for every drop. When the sensitivity turned uncomfortable he pulled her hair so she could release him, she made a small pop sound as she let him go. She looked at him, her green eyes on his, and she swallowed. “Fuck…” That was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. She licked her lips making sure she hadn’t spilled any.

“You taste good too.” She smirked. He pulled her into a rough kiss, their tongues tasting each other, lips clashing.

They separated, he pulled her into his lap, resting his head on her chest, hearing her heart beating. The same sound that had soothed him in his darkest moments. They had slept together so many times now, entwined in each other, but it had been healing touches, now every touch felt electric. He needed to let her go though, she had made it clear he couldn’t have her completely. She wasn’t his, and probably never would be, but he could enjoy these moments, the smell of their lust filling his nose, he hoped he could have it again. He let his hands drop, she stepped off his lap.

She needed to compose herself after the onslaught of desire that had filled them. She found her panties and shorts and put them on, next came her bra and top. He hadn’t moved watching her get dressed, his mismatched eyes on her, she supposed it was no different with Sasuke, Sharingan activated. She felt her heart become heavy, at least they hadn’t had sex, she justified with herself, _Oh because sucking each other off is any different?_ Her inner snarled. Sakura hung her head, too late now to feel bad about it. Kakashi stood up, this time she let her eyes take in all of him, he was perfect, strong thighs, lean muscular stomach, defined chest and arms, and his face, she internally groaned. _Tell me you don’t want to climb him and make him climax over and over again?_ She threw the question to her inner. No answer. Sakura was brought back to the man in front of her, he brushed back her hair and kissed her softly.

“Want to get lunch? I’m starving.” He smiled gently at her.

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m starving too.”

Sakura was laying in her bed that night, thinking about what she had done with Kakashi, she felt herself flush at the feelings they had given each other, but also her heart felt heavy, yet she found she felt less guilt than when she had made out with Genma. She was worried about what that said about her, she sighed and rolled over hugging a pillow. It had felt so good to give into Kakashi, she was sure of one thing, she was loving the attention she was getting from both of them, and she wanted more.

She was shaken from her revelation with a rapping on her window, her heart leapt, she recognized the pattern, she opened the window, Kakashi stepped in, the moment she entered any guilt or shame faded away. She reached for his hand and brought him to her bed, like she had done before, but this time there was a different energy.

Kakashi knew he shouldn’t be seeking her out, that he should be waiting for her, but he couldn't sit in his apartment thinking about her when she was so close. He wanted to be near her so badly he didn’t care if they did anything, as long as they were together. He laid down next to her, her emerald eyes shining in the moonlight. “I couldn’t be alone.” He said.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She pulled down his mask and caressed his bare face.

He pulled her into his body, he nuzzled his face to the crook of her neck, he breathed her in, he felt himself relax, her fingers in his hair. She hummed as his breath caressed her skin. “We don’t have to do anything, I just wanted to be with you.”

She kissed the top of his head, “Whatever you need Kakashi.” He fell asleep quickly, holding her, she followed him into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it says slow burn, but I figured since my chapters are over 10k words long, that should count for something.  
> Thought? Feelings? Let me know, I appreciate it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next installment, I hope you enjoy! I had a harder time with this chapter so I hope it doesn't disappoint. There will be two more chapter to this story, I was thinking of doing a Q&A after, sending me questions and asks and having a chapter at the end just to answer questions, I don't know if people even have questions, lol. They could be anything, about me, about my process, about the story, calling out my mistakes and plot holes lol. If enough people seem interested I'll do it. I'm Moonlady9 on tumbler if you want to drop an ask there.  
> Enjoy!

The drizzling and persistent rain had made sure that Sakura was not dry the entire time she traveled back to Konoha with her team. She had been sent out on another healing mission, which she was glad for, she was tired of using her fists so often lately. She pulled her cloak around herself but it was no use, so much for being waterproof, she could feel the moisture starting to seep onto her clothes. She looked over at Gai and Tokuma who had accompanied her again, they looked as miserable as she felt. When they finally made it back to the village, the first thing they did after reporting was head to the nearest bar, needing to warm up.

Tokuma grimaced at the shot of whisky, unfamiliar with the taste. Sakura grinned as she swallowed hers smoothly. “Don’t drink much Tokuma?” she asked.

He shook his head, “Haven’t quite found my taste for it I suppose.”

Gai sipped his gin and tonic with a satisfying smack of his lips, “While I admit, drinking is a shinobi vice, but every once in a while it can be helpful to destress.”

Sakura giggled as she ordered another drink, she had been gone for a week and was ready to take a long hot bath, she wondered if any baths were open. After she finished her second drink she left them and headed home to shower. She was in the middle of rinsing off her hair when she heard a familiar rapping on her balcony window.

“Come in.” she shouted, she heard the window open and felt Kakashi’s chakra as he entered.

“Sorry, I can come back later.” He was standing by the bathroom door that she had left open, his eye looking down.

She laughed lightly, “It’s ok, I’m almost done.” He nodded and walked off. She thought it was adorable that he was still so shy even though he had seen her naked numerous times now in the last month. She felt her skin heat up at the memories of all the nights they had touched each other, never actually having sex but so very close to it. She turned the hot water off, letting cold water spray her before stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself.

She walked out of the bathroom and saw Kakashi had brought food, he was pulling dishes from the cupboards, he was in his jonin uniform without the vest, he turned around and saw her watching him, he blushed. “I, uh, thought you might be hungry.”

She smiled at him, “Thank you, just let me put something on.” She bit her lip as a look of what she thought to be disappointment flashed across his face. “Unless you don’t want me to put something on?” she teased. She didn’t know what came over her, but seeing him blush furiously and shake his head made her heart skip. She never really experienced this, the teasing and flirting, the sexual tension. It was very different with Sasuke, but she really enjoyed these moments with Kakashi. It made her feel, dare she say sexy and she liked feeling sexy.

Kakashi was unmoving as she narrowed her eyes at him and stalked over to him. She smirked as her hands reached under his shirt, he took a sharp breath as her hot hands touched his skin. “Akemi…”

“Do you want me to get dressed?” She looked at his eyes, hers full of mischief. He shook his head slowly. She smiled and pulled down his mask, “Sit down.” She pulled him by his shirt and pushed him onto a chair. He obeyed wordlessly, she saw him gulp and lick his lips as she settled herself over him, trapped between her legs. “Did you miss me?” He nodded. “What did you miss?” she had sat on his thighs, not directly over his groin on purpose. His hands went up to cup her face as he pulled her down, he gave her a few soft and gentle kisses. She had missed his lips on hers.

“I missed the way you taste.” He whispered hoarsely.

She bent down and gave him a deep kiss, letting their tongues become reacquainted. She moved her hips over his now hardening member, she gasped as the fabric grazed her naked mound, she heard him groan softly into her mouth, and it spurred her on. Their kiss intensified as she tugged at his hair, he gripped the hem of her towel, pulling it off so she was naked over him. One hand went to her ass and the other to her back pressing her to him. She couldn’t help but think of how much she wished this was her normal life, for her to come home and have a man waiting for her with dinner and have sex often, very often.

Kakashi nibbled on her lips, his hands relishing the feeling of her soft skin and her firm rear. She was so beautiful it was almost unfair, she knew the affect she had on him with just a look of her emerald eyes, he was putty in her hands and still he knew of the boundary she had set for him that hung heavily over them, he was grateful to have anything she was willing to give him, he knew he wasn’t worthy of actually having her, and he savored these moments with her. He grunted as she reached down between them and unzipped his pants, her soft dainty hands pulling his hard cock out. She nipped at his jaw as she started moving her hips over him, her juices letting her glide smoothly over his length. He moaned loudly as he felt her center brush against him.

Sakura couldn’t get enough of the way he moaned, the sound of his pleasure fueled that fire inside of her, the way his lips parted, his beauty mark beneath his lips, she loved every bit of it. She kept moving her hips over him, he grabbed her hips as he joined in their movements, she was moaning every time he rubbed against her pearl. “Kakashi…” she breathed out.

“I like the way you same my name Akemi.” He kissed her roughly.

She started moving her hips faster, he was begging her name, Akemi, _Yes, she was Akemi_ , his tip teasing her entrance. “Kakashi, I want you inside of me.”

His eyes shot open, he stilled her with his hands on her hips, he could feel her dripping heat on his tip, he shuddered. “Akemi, we don’t have to.” He looked into her eyes so she could see his sincerity.

“I want to, I need to feel you inside of me.” She returned his earnestness.

“Are you sure?”

She bit her lip nervously, she had already gone this far with him, she didn’t want to hold back anymore, she had already broken her vows, and she really did need to feel all of him, she wanted to fully give in. She nodded with conviction. She slowly lowered herself down his length. She gasped as he stretched her out, “Ooh… Kakashi!” he was so big.

He gritted his teeth as she sunk down, he groaned as she took him all in, her tight slick heat surrounding his cock. “Akemi… Ah!” he felt her hips start small circles, “Mmm.. hold on, don’t move for a minute.” She was so tight.

Sakura was grateful he had told her not to move, she wanted to enjoy the feeling of him inside of her, he was so thick, he felt delicious. “You feel so good.” She brushed back his hair as he looked up at her.

He smiled deliriously, “You feel amazing.” His fingers tracing small circles on her thigh. He licked and nipped at her neck and shoulders, she sighed and started moving slowly over him, he let out a sound of encouragement.

Sakura gripped his shirt as she slid over his thickness, she was panting as the head hit the deepest part inside of her “Ah… Gods…. So good…” she mumbled out as he suckled on her nipples. She dropped a hand down between them and started to stroke her clit. He groaned, pulling up his headband, his sharingan taking in their joining. Seeing that scarlet eye spinning made her skin bubble with lust.

Kakashi took in her body as she threw her head back and started moving faster, her breasts bouncing in front of him, the sounds she was making, the sounds their union were making, she was heaven, in this moment she reminded him how to feel like a man, like a person again. He grabbed her hips and met her with his own thrust, she cried out, she had never made a sound like that before, he wanted to hear it again. She yelped in surprise as he lifted her and pushed her back onto the table, she instinctually wrapped her legs around him as he started to thrust himself into her. She was screaming, he liked that more.

Sakura couldn’t handle the pleasure, he was hitting that spot inside of her, her own fingers fanning the fire in her belly, and then she felt the release, she arched her back off the table as she screamed out his name, her blood boiling, she clawed at his arms needing an anchor before he took her hands in his and pressed them down on the table. He kept pumping into her, “Kakashi… Oooh Kakashi!” She had never felt an orgasm like this, maybe it was because she shouldn’t even be doing this, for all the taboo reasons she could list or maybe he was just so good that he knew what she needed.

“Akemi… where should I…” He ground out, barely managing to hold on.

“Inside, I want to feel you inside.” She managed between breathes, her mind hazy, all she could think of was that she wanted all of him. And then she felt it, his hot release as he twitched inside of her, “Ah! Yes!” She sobbed out in pleasure, it had been a very long time since she had felt herself be filled up, Sasuke didn’t like coming inside of her too often, she really liked the sensation. Kakashi fell on top of her, her fingers running soothingly down his back as he gasped for oxygen on the crook of her neck.

“That was… incredible…” he muttered into her ear. “Is this ok?”

She thought about his question, she wasn’t sure what he was referring to, the sex that she shouldn’t be having with a man that wasn’t her husband, him climaxing inside of her, at least she was on birth control, “It’s very ok.” She smiled as she kissed his temple.

After they managed to eat, they ended up back in bed, pleasuring each other through the night. Kakashi looked over at her sleeping face, the falling moonlight casting soft shadows on her, her soft breaths on his chest. He rubbed his face, this was too much, he didn’t know how he had fallen so deep with her and so quickly. She had been there when he was at his darkest, she was the only one he really talked to, she was the only one that knew every dark part of his heart and accepted him for it. Yet, he couldn’t have her. He could sense a darkness within her as well, a guilt eating at her, maybe that’s why she was so understanding, so accepting of him, and why he felt this indescribable trust with her. He slipped out of bed in the early morning and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. She stirred, her jade eyes searching for his.

“It’s ok, go back to sleep.” He brushed her hair back.

“You’re leaving?” She asked sleepily as he dressed.

“I have a mission, I’ll be gone for a few weeks at least.” He said softly.

She sat up, “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was planning on telling you when you came back last night, but we got sidetracked.” He offered a small smile.

She smiled wryly, “Yeah, sidetracked. Be careful. Come back safe.” She reached up to kiss him, letting the blankets fall off her naked body.

He was surprised at how her words affected him, no one ever told him to be safe or waited for him to come back. He kissed her back passionately, letting his hands memorize her curves before he wrenched himself away from her and slipped out her window.

Sakura fell back on the bed, she would say the same thing to Sasuke when he would leave her, at least Kakashi wouldn’t abandon her for years on end. She startled herself, _abandon_ , is that how she really felt about Sasuke? That he abandoned her? She bit the inside of her cheek as she sifted through her feelings. He would leave for years, without a word, and she waited for him patiently, lovingly, but now, as twisted as it was she was getting a glimpse into a different type of relationship. Kakashi was silent and brooding, but with her, he gave into her, he came to her when he needed her and he was there when she needed him. There was support and comfort between them. Then there was Genma, he was such a ray of sunlight, they laughed together, he knew how to cheer her up, he made her feel desirable, he made her feel warm. She sighed, it didn’t matter, Sasuke was the one waiting for her this time, she was done feeling guilty, he never felt remorse for making her wait, making her worry, he never apologized to her when he came back and she had always accepted it. Now it was his turn, and she wasn’t going to apologize when she saw him again.

There was a morning clear of rain a few days after Kakashi left, she went to the market for the week’s groceries. She caught sight of Genma buying fruit and shamelessly flirting with the lady that managed the stand, Sakura couldn’t help but giggle when her husband came up and Genma turned the charm on him, it didn’t work as well as it had on the lady. Sakura could see the husband clench his fist and while Genma would of course win in this scenario, there was no need to cause a scene. She walked over and hooked her arm on Genma’s, he looked down at her confused.

“Sweetheart, I finished shopping, ready to go home?” She gave him a bright smile hoping he would get the hint.

Realization hit him and he smiled back, he kissed her forehead and took her basket, “Great, let’s go.”

They walked away from the stand, leaving a furious husband and a put off wife.  When they were far enough away, they laughed. “You really need to be careful who you flirt with. He was about to throw a punch at you.”

He sniggered and shrugged, “Well that’s just part of the fun.”

“You just like to make things difficult don’t you?” She teased, she hadn’t unhooked her arm from his as they walked down the street, he didn’t seem to mind.

“I like a challenge.” He grinned back. “What are you doing tonight?” his chocolate eyes turned to her.

She was taken by surprise, “Oh I wasn’t planning on anything.”

“So you were just going to be at home by yourself?” he smiled teasingly.

“Sounds pathetic when you put it like that jerk.” She pinched his arm.

“Ow, yes, well it is a little pathetic. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be hidden away, come out with me tonight.” He gave her a toothy smile.

She chuckled, “And what will we be doing?”

“Well we could eat, so dinner, and then some entertainment, maybe go see that traveling musician that’s playing tonight, I heard she’s good.”

Sakura stared at him, “Is this like a date?”

“It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it, but if you do, it can.” He gave her an even look. “Though it’s been a long time since I have been on a date, not sure how it works anymore.”

She let out a short laugh, “You can’t expect me to believe you don’t go on dates with all the women you take home.”

He took her hand and brought it to his lips, planting a small kiss on the back of it. “Those women don’t want dates, they want a passing pleasure, which is fine for me, but to be honest, it has been a long time since I met a woman that I would want to take out on a date. But it’s up to you, either way I just want to spend time with you.” A small smile passed his lips.

Sakura watched him, surprised at the revelation, “Ok then, it’s a date.” She blushed as she smiled at him. He grinned at her.

He dropped her off at her apartment. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Sakura stared at her closet, she didn’t know what to wear. She had never been on a real date, she was thirty-five and had never been on a date. She groaned at how sad that sounded. Right now she would normally go to Ino to help her, but here she had to figure it out on her own. She only had mission gear, training clothes and some basics for everyday day wear. She needed to relax, it was Genma, and it sounded like it was casual, but then she remembered once when Ino was getting ready for a date with Sai and Ino said she should dress a little nicer than was expected.

She sighed in frustration. She looked at the clock, it was three o’clock, maybe she could run down to a shop and get something. She had managed to find a simple royal blue dress that hugged her body, it fell to her mid thigh, it had a scoop neck that showed just the top of her breasts and had sleeves that reached her elbows. She had some booties to wear with it, she left her hair down, she nodded at herself in satisfaction in the mirror. She heard a knock on the door and went to open it, she smiled when she saw Genma, he wasn’t wearing his headband, his hair was tied back in a small ponytail showing off his handsome face and mahogany eyes, he was in dark pants, the grey henley under his dark coat tight against his broad chest, outfit finished with black boots. She cleared her throat, he looked good, really good, good enough that she was thinking very naughty thoughts, like pulling him into her apartment and climbing him until… she shook her head, _Calm the fuck down Akemi…uh Sakura.. fuck whatever._

“You, uh, look really nice.” He swallowed as he took her in, her every curve on display for him.

“You look nice too.” She grabbed her coat because she needed something to do with her hands or she was worried her hands would betray her and rip off his clothes.

“Ready to go?” he reached for her hand, she nervously took it and stepped out of her apartment.

She took a deep calming breath and smiled at him, “So what are we doing first?”

“I was thinking dinner.” He laced his fingers in hers, she was wearing a red nail polish.

Sakura bit her lip, his hands were big and warm and enveloped hers, she fell into step beside him as they walked. She caught his scent, like summer and citrus, it made her smile as she leaned closer to him.

“There’s this place I’ve been meaning to try, it’s supposed to be good.” He looked down to her emerald eyes, she was breathtaking. She smelled sweet and fresh, like cherries and snow, he wanted to pull her into him and breathe her in.

“Sounds great!” She couldn’t control the way her heart palpitated against her ribs, his bright smile always made her knees wobble. She was really liking his hair pulled back, his face open for her to see.

He took her to a nice restaurant, the waitress was a pretty redhead with deep blue eyes that recognized Genma. Sakura giggled at the look of surprise as she saw Genma was with her. She gave Genma her best flirty smile and for Sakura a forced smile with a look that could kill. She took their order and left.

“She looked like she wanted to burn me alive.” Sakura joked.

Genma smiled sheepishly, “I didn’t know she worked here.”

“One of your conquests?” she smirked.

“I wouldn’t call them conquests, that implies there was a challenge.” He grinned. “But we’re not here to talk about that, let’s talk about something else.”

Sakura laughed, she supposed women did throw themselves at him, the waitress came back with their order, they ate, they talked and joked, their laughter filling the space between them. It seemed that throughout dinner they had moved closer so that now their thighs were touching as his fingers ran up and down her forearm absently as they talked. She liked him close to her, his light touches on her skin felt nice. They had a few drinks before they finally left, the waitress shooting daggers at Sakura as Genma grabbed her hand and they walked out.

They walked over to a small club where the traveling singer was performing, Sakura liked her voice, Genma invited her to dance. Sakura blushed, she had never been asked out to dance before. She let herself be pulled to the dancefloor, he placed his hand on her waist as he led her through the movements. Towards the end, the songs slowed, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she put her head on his chest. She breathed in his warm bright scent. She didn’t want this to end, she was enjoying someone wanting to have fun and spend time with her, she really liked going out on a proper date. That two minute date with Sasuke certainly didn’t count now that she knew what a real date was. After the last song ended they started walking back, his arm around her waist now.

He dropped her off at her door and gave her forehead a soft kiss. Sakura closed her eyes, feeling his lips on her skin, his hands on her waist still. “Thank you for tonight. I had fun.” She looked into his chocolate eyes. She bit her lip, he was so close to her.

“I’m glad you came out with me.” His hand went up to her face, tucking her hair behind her ear. He licked his lips. “I should go.”

Sakura grabbed his shirt, “Do you have to?”

He smiled, “I don’t think I can control myself if I stay any longer. I really want to kiss you.” His eyes flickered to her lips.

“Kiss me.” Her emerald eyes staring into his.

“Really?” he leaned closer, she nodded and she stepped up to her toes closing the distance. Her lips were soft, she tasted just as sweet as he remembered. He felt his mind go blank as her tongue grazed his bottom lip, he groaned softly. He felt her open the door behind her and they tumbled in. She pressed him against the door as her kisses became hungrier. She pushed off his coat and then shrugged hers off throwing it on the couch, her hands were all over his chest, his all over her hips. He turned them around, he had her against the door, she wrapped her leg around his, his hand caressing her thigh, stopping where her dress started.

Sakura was moaning softly as he kissed her. His kisses were deep and slow, as if he wanted to take his time with her, she pulled him closer as their tongues explored each other, his kisses made her dizzy with desire, the thought of what else his talented mouth could do made her breathless. “Genma… you’re so hot.” She said through kisses.

He grinned and nipped at her lips. “You’re so sexy Akemi.” His hand became bolder as they moved up her thigh, pushing her dress up, she wriggled closer to him encouraging his hands, he stopped right below her cheeks. His mouth left hers and started to nibble down her jaw and neck, she was breathing hard, her hands went to his ass, she gave him a good squeeze they smirked at each other. He was so turned on, she was a vixen, her swollen lips, her narrowed eyes, the way she was panting as he licked below her jaw, her hands pressing him closer to her center.

“What do you want from me Genma?” She said heavily.

“Just you Akemi, I want you.” His mouth moved down her chest, over the top of her mounds.

“And if I say I just want sex, nothing more?” She wanted to be clear with him, he stopped kissing her skin. She looked into his deep brown eyes, he stared back as if trying to penetrate her mind.

“I would have to think about it.” he suddenly let her go and stepped back.

Sakura was surprised. “What?” she pulled down her dress that he had hiked up.

“I, uh…” he looked away from her and paced. “I’m an idiot.” He shook his head with a sardonic laugh. “You know I like you, I really like you. I meant it when I said I don’t go out on dates, you’re the first woman I have taken out in a very long time, and I had such a great time that I could see us going on dates over and over again. I accepted when you needed space to sort out your feelings, but I also want so much more than just sex with you.”

Sakura didn’t know how to react, she had been so into what they were doing, she wanted more, she wanted his firm broad body pressing her against the wall again, but he was saying he wanted more that sex, “I told you last time I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I can’t give you all of me.” She straightened up, her hands clenching.

“I know you said that. I’m the idiot that wishes, hopes, you will change your mind.” He looked at her eyes, sadness, anger, fear floating in her emerald orbs.

“This is what I can offer you, that’s it, nothing more.” She tried to keep her voice even from emotions. He didn’t know how long it had taken her to break, to turn her back on her vows, to give into him and Kakashi, if only he knew it wasn’t about grieving for a dead lover, but that someday she would return to her husband and face him and her daughter with the things she had done here. “It’s fine just go.” She whispered as she stepped away from the door.

Genma saw a tear fall down her face. He didn’t move for a second, then she turned her back on him. He thought about saying something, but instead grabbed his coat and walked out. He stood on the other side of her door for a moment and then heard her sobbing. The heart wrenching kind, almost like the last time they had kissed. Gods he was an idiot, he was a greedy bastard and he knew it. She was right, she had told him she couldn’t give herself to him, but she offered a part of herself now, he didn’t know why that made him so upset, he should be happy she was even willing to give him that much. Maybe he had hoped she was different, and she was, she was unique, but in that moment she sounded like all the rest. He sighed and left her, he was an idiot.

Sakura was sitting with the window open, sitting on the sill watching the rain fall. The sound was peaceful and soothing to her heart, especially after the argument she had with Genma last night. His words ran across her mind, he wanted more than sex, he liked her, it made her smile that someone actually had feeling for her, but the smile quickly fell when she remembered her family. She wanted to scream. She wanted this feeling of limbo to be over, to know whether she was staying stuck here forever or go back to her old life. Six months now, six months in this unknown, waiting for something to happen. She got up, she needed to punch something. She threw on black pants, a sports bra and a maroon rain jacket. She put her hair in a ponytail and headed out.

She made her way to the eastern hills that had plenty of rock formations, Sakura spent a few hours smashing as many rocks as she could. Leaving craters with her stomps and kicks, she let every punch and kick be fueled by her anger, frustration and sadness. She let the rain soak her as she sat down and took in the destruction around her, this was her life, surrounded by destruction she had caused. She was destroying her marriage, her life, she was destroying Sakura.

She stood up, feeling cathartic, she grabbed her jacket without bothering to zip it up. As she reached her building she saw Genma waiting for her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk to him yet, but he saw her. She straightened her spine and walked over. “What are you doing here?” she said with more bite than she intended.

He flinched, “I wanted to talk.” He said softly.

She grounded her feet and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Ok. “

“Do you want to get out of the rain?” they were both soaked.

“Fine, let’s go upstairs.” She walked in as he followed her to her apartment. She took off her coat, he took off his vest and then their shoes before stepping in. She turned to him and nodded for him to start.

His eyes flickered down, her pants were tight, her bare midriff showing off her curves, her fists dirty and scratched, splashes of mud covering her, she looked delectable. He looked up at her face. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have expected more and I’m sorry. You were clear, but I really do like you and I don’t want you to be just another woman that passes through my bed.”

Sakura lowered her gaze, “I can’t give you a relationship if that’s what you want.” She shouldn’t even be offering her body to him, but she felt body hum as he stood in front of her, his clothes sticking to him like a second skin, she wanted him, the brightness he radiated that made her feel light.

“Can I ask…” He eyes shifted sideways then up, “Is it because of Kakashi?”

Her eyes widened in surprise, “What does Kakashi have to do with you?”

“You two have been very close since the incident. I thought… maybe…” he looked down and bit the corner of his lip.

“I don’t feel like I owe you an explanation, but he got the same conditions as you.” She said, he looked up at her.

“I just don’t want to be in the middle of you two if there is something there, he is my friend.”

“You’re not, but I don’t ask about the women you sleep with I would expect the same in return.” She said firmly.

He nodded, “You’re right, I won’t mention it again. You make me act like an idiot.” He laughed lightly.

She smiled, “You make me forget who I am.” She stepped up to him, she ran her hands up his arms. “You make me want you with just your smile.”

“You are so sexy, I want you, so bad,” He stepped closer to her, his voice dropping, “I want you under me, I want to explore every inch of your body, I want to make you scream my name.” he whispered the last part into her ear.

She shuddered at his husky voice, she felt that familiar heat in her belly that she always felt when she was around him.

“But I don’t want what we have now to end.” He ended and stepped back.

“I don’t see why having sex would mean our friendship is over.” She placed her hand on his chest, she looked up at his lips and reached up to him.

He leaned down to her, her lips were cold from the rain, he pulled her into his body and remembered he was just as wet as she was, she shivered but he wasn’t sure if it was from their kiss or the cold. He separated from her lips, “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but, its cold maybe we should take off our clothes and warm up?” he smiled wryly.

She scoffed and chuckled, “That’s one hell of a line Genma.” She walked over to the radiator and turned it on. She shimmied out of her pants and placed them in front of the heater to dry. He stood stunned, taking in her toned legs. She quirked her eye at him. “Undress.” She commanded.

He shook himself and grinned, he peeled off his shirt, then his pants leaving him in boxers. She pulled off her top, he couldn’t stop staring at her chest, they were as perfect as he remembered, perky and adorned with blush pink nipples, hard from the cold. She smirked as she stalked over to him. He gulped, watching as they bounced with every step. Her fingers grazed his chest and shoulders, he gingerly reached out to touch her hips and follow her curves up, his thumbs softly caressing the swell of her breasts. “You are so beautiful Akemi.”

She reached up and took off his bandana before she pulled him down to take his lips in hers. His kisses deep and sensual, she felt a lusty haze falling over her, she pulled him closer, her chest pressed against his hard muscles. “Genma, I need a shower. I’m dirty.” She said between kisses.

He smirked, “I like you dirty.” He picked her up as she giggled, she wrapped her legs around him as he carried them to the bathroom. He set her down on the counter, he turned on the shower and went back to her. He took a moment to take in her body, her hair still dripping from the rain, her round breasts made his mouth water. His hands went up her thighs to the edge of her panties, he gave her a questioning look, she nodded. He pulled them down revealing all of her to him.

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek nervously, she was feeling unsure, it wasn’t often she was under scrutiny, Genma’s eyes roving her body. He leaned down and licked one of her nipples, she breathed in as his tongue slowly circled her pert nub. His hands went up to massages her mounds, his mouth alternating, they moaned softly as he started to suckle, he nipped and nibbled at her sensitive flesh.

She was mewling over him as he attended to her chest, but the scent of her arousal was calling him. His mouth moved down her stomach, he dropped to his knees, pulled her to the edge of the counter and spread her legs. He kissed the inside of her thighs. “So beautiful.” He murmured.

She felt her face turn red as he held her legs apart. She leaned back, she pushed away any embarrassment when he licked around her mound and moaned. Then his tongue pushed past her folds tasting her and swirled around her sensitive pearl, she jerked, “Aaah! Genma!” she cried out, his tongue felt so good, it was unraveling her with every lick and flick.

He felt her legs tremble as he suckled and licked her clit, she tasted amazing. His tongue went down to her entrance, she whimpered as he pressed it in, he heard a deep guttural moan from her as he started moving his tongue in and out of her core. He grinned to himself with every noise she was making, every shudder, her fingers went to his hair, holding him in place as his tongue pleasured her.

Sakura felt herself falling apart, he was so good, then he added a finger to play with her clit. She screamed out, “Oh fuck!” she felt her stomach tighten, “Don’t stop, oh please don’t stop.” she threw her head back and with a final flick of his finger and thrust of his tongue she was gone. Her body convulsed as she screamed for him, he held her thighs firmly as he lapped up her orgasm. When her body stopped trembling he moved up to her face, he nuzzled her neck as he held her. She laughed lightly, “That was… mmmm…” she groaned.

“That good?” he chuckled as he kissed her. She grinned as she nodded, she pulled him deeper into their kiss, her tongue reaching for his wanting to taste herself. “You are delicious. Now let’s shower before the hot water runs out.” He stepped back and pulled off his boxers letting his erection spring free.

Sakura bit her lip as she took him in, he was impressive, he was thick. She dropped from the counter, walked into the shower and pulled him in with her. He pushed her against the tile and kissed her roughly, she returned his sloppy kisses, her nails on his back, his hands squeezing her ass, she lifted a leg up to his hip, she felt his hardness pressed against her mound, he gently rocked against her, she gasped when her rubbed against her clit. She didn’t want to wait any longer, she wanted him. “Genma, I want you inside of me.” His chocolate eyes met her jade ones, he lifted her against the wall, and aligned his tip to her entrance and swiftly pushed himself into her quaking core.

“Oh fuck Akemi!” He growled as he felt her walls accommodate for him. “You’re so tight.” He held her steady as he collected himself.

She placed her forehead on his shoulder, “You’re so big Genma.” She whimpered as he moved slowly. She looked up and started to kiss him fervently until he started to move in earnest. She bit his shoulder as he rubbed against the sensitive spot inside of her, she felt the cold tile on her back as the hot water fell on them, his fingers digging into her thighs, she knew she was going to have bruises all over but she didn’t care. She could hear her moans and cries mixed in with his grunts and groans. In a quick move he had turned her over, her front pressed against the wall. She whined at the emptiness, she bent over slightly angling her ass to him.

“Fuck Akemi. That ass.” He palmed her cheeks unabashed, enjoying her firm flesh in his hands. He gave them a few light slaps, making her gasp in surprise, he grabbed his cock, slapping her backside with his thickness before shoving himself back into her aching heat. One hand held her hips to him, the other pulled back her hair so he could see her face as she surrendered to the pleasure.

Sakura hadn’t ever been fucked like this, he was rough but with purpose. He seemed to know what her body craved, her face was pressed against the tile, her hands holding her up as he kept his ruthless pace. Then he hit a spot inside of her, she screamed.

“You like that?” his voice heavy and breathless as he kept pounding into her. Then he felt her walls clamp down around him, “Fuck, yeah that’s it, cum for me.” He kept moving as she kept crying out. Her face was the sexiest thing he had ever seen, her pink lips swollen and begging his name, her eyes were half open looking back at him. “So sexy…” He felt his own climax approaching, he pulled out and with a few pumps he released himself all over her backside.

They both leaned against the wall as the regained control of their breathing. His hand moved down her back, smearing his milky seed on her skin.

“Can I clean up now?” she smirked. He grinned back, gave her rear a light tap and nodded.

After showering, they huddled up under the comforters waiting for his clothes to dry. He ended up staying the night, leaving her in the morning after another round of ravenous sex.

Sakura woke up later that morning, relishing on the pleasant soreness through her body, it seemed the rumors were true, he was a sex god, she had not felt this sated in a very long time. She got up and had a cup of coffee, she thought of the men in her life, Kakashi was like a snowy winter night, like curling in front of a fire while watching the snow fall, soothing and comfort. Genma was the opposite, he was like a bright summer day, she could stretch out and revel in his warmth and attention, he was raw heat and joy. Then there was Sasuke, like an overcast spring day, still cold, dark clouds above, but with the promise of sunlight and bloom, and when she was lucky, he would shower her in that cool spring sunlight.

She had been assigned an escort mission, some rich old lord with ailing health, she was perfect for it. She came back to the village after a month, the snow starting to fall. She arrived at her apartment, after a hot shower she fell into her bed. She was woken up by a soft tapping at her window, she cracked an eye open, and while she was irritated her sleep was being interrupted, her heart also leapt. She slowly got up to open the window, Kakashi stepped in.

“I get back and then you’re gone.” He said simply, his fingers tracing her jaw.

“Did you miss me?” She smiled at him.

He pulled down his mask and kissed her softly. “Yes.”

They crawled back into bed, she rested her head against his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair. “I missed you too.” She said softly before falling asleep as he held her.

She woke up to kisses down her neck and shoulders, she mewled appreciatively, she cracked open her eyes, taking in his silver hair, the scar, his full lips, he nipped at her ear, _“Sakura.”_ She sat up in alarm and realized she had been dreaming.

He was still sleeping beside her, his hands under her pillows as he breathed softly. She laid back and stared at the ceiling. She wondered why she was dreaming of Kakashi saying her name, the promise of sex evident, that was exactly how he liked to wake her up sometimes. It was one thing for him to call her Akemi, and another to call her Sakura in that same seductive voice, and yet, her real name on his lips was making her skin prickle.

“Akemi…” He muttered sleepily,

Why was she so disappointed he didn’t say Sakura?

He pulled her in to him, “Bad dream?” his voice thick with sleep.

She smiled and nuzzled into his chest, “No, good dream.” Her heart ached, she wanted this so much, someone to come home to every night, to be wrapped in big warms arms as she fell asleep. She felt tears fall down her face. When did her life become so solitary? When did she accept it? Why was it taking some fucked up situation to remind herself what she had wanted when she married Sasuke? “A very good dream.” She choked out.

He sat up, fully awake, he swiped away her tears, “Hey, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

She wanted that dream to be real, she reached for him and kissed him hungrily, she lifted herself and pushed him back on the bed and swung her legs over him. Her tears continued, she could sense his surprise and trepidation. “Just make love to me Kakashi.” She whispered against his lips, she could taste the salinity of her tears as she kissed him desperately.

He didn’t know why she was crying and she didn’t want to talk about it, she wanted comfort, and he wanted to provide that. He kissed her back with the same energy, with the same need. He thought about her words, _make love to me_. Love. Such a dangerous word. The most dangerous word he had ever heard, but he did what she asked, he made love to her. He loved every inch of her burning skin. He loved her sounds, he loved her eyes, he loved her hair, he loved her lips, he loved the feeling of belonging as he slipped into her inviting warmth. He loved all of her until she shuddered around him and he joined her at the peak of their lovemaking. He wanted her to know she was loved. He kissed away her tears as she fell back asleep in his arms.

As the days passed Sakura noticed Kakashi was keeping to himself more than usual, he hadn’t come to sleep with her all week since that night and after that dream she felt a greater need for company, she was craving companionship. She went to knock on Kakashi’s door, she worried her bottom lip, she wondered if she had scared him with that night, she couldn’t deny she was scared herself, it had been deeper than sex, and that was terrifying. He cracked open the door, a look of surprise as he took her in.

“Hi, are you busy?” She asked timidly.

His eyes held his usual half lidded gaze on her but didn’t open the door for her, “I’m sorry Akemi, right now is not a good time.”

She managed a glance past him, she caught sight of a pink fabric on the floor that was certainly not hers. She was unsure of how to react, “Oh. Um, sorry to bother you.” She felt her face turn beet red as she turned on her heels and ran down the hallway. She kept going until she was outside her building, she hadn’t grabbed an umbrella but she couldn’t step back in there. She walked into the falling snow, she put one foot in front of the other.

She walked without direction, she had no right to think that Kakashi was hers, he had every right to sleep with whomever he wanted, she had been sleeping with Genma, neither owed her anything, she had told them that it could never be more than sex. Yet, after that night with Kakashi, that stupid dream, her heart wrenched at the thought of Kakashi with another woman. Stupid, idiot, naïve, selfish, greedy, these were just some of the words she scolded herself with. She let out a calming breath, she needed to let her possessiveness go, she had told them both they couldn’t have her completely, that was true in reverse, she couldn’t have them completely. She thought of Genma, he had said to go to him when she was lonely, and she was feeling very lonely.

She found herself knocking at his door and hoping he was alone. She smiled when he opened the door wide for her. He seemed to be relaxing at home, in lounge shorts and a white shirt, his hair down. He smiled back and she felt herself filled with a lightness, the heaviness of her heart evaporating. “Hi.”

“Hi beautiful.” He reached out his hand to her, she took it and followed him into his apartment. “What brings you here?” He kissed her forehead.

She took a deep breath, letting his soothing scent fill her, “I was lonely.” She ran her hands up his chest.

“Mmmm… and you came to me?” His voice playful as he kissed her neck.

She giggled, “Would you prefer I didn’t?”

He chuckled, “It’s been a while since you came back from your mission.”

The undertone of that statement was why she hadn’t come to see him sooner, stupid dream, stupid Sakura, making things more complicated than they were supposed to. “Just got busy. Miss me?” she laced her fingers though his hair as he switched to the other side of her neck.

“Yes, very much.” He crashed his lips onto hers as he lifted her and put her down on his couch. They grinned and went back to losing themselves in each other.

She should have come to him sooner, she didn’t know why she still kept fighting it, she wanted Kakashi and Genma equally but for different reasons, and right now Genma was making her giggle and laugh as he said the cheesiest things to her. Sex with him was so fun and so satisfying. She found herself naked and kneeling over his head as his expert tongue attended to her dripping heat, she watched as his hand moved over his own length, beads of milky liquid dripping out, she licked her lips and leaned over to lick him up. She heard a muffled groan come from between her thighs as she took him in her mouth. He bit down on her clit, she groaned, her mouth full with his thickness. They made each other climax with their eager mouths. She lifted herself off his face and let his cock slide out of her mouth, she licked at her lips, making sure she had swallowed every drop of his musky, salty orgasm. She kneeled back on the couch his head between her legs, his eyes were closed with a smile on his lips.

“That was incredible.” He muttered, he cracked open his eyes to look up at her. She was smiling down at him, those catlike eyes sparkling, he lifted his arms and grabbed at her hair and gently tugged her down, she lowered herself, their lips meeting, soft, sweet kisses. Her rosen hair falling over them as their kiss deepened, they found a rhythm in this awkward position, she laughed.

“What’s so funny?” He tilted his head taking in the landscape of her body as she hoovered over him.

“Just, we’re kissing upside down, it’s funny to me.” She gave him a few more kisses.

He sat up, well that was fun let’s get to the good stuff.” He grinned, he took her hand and lifted her off the couch. “I want to bury my face in your chest.”

She flushed and laughed, “Is that the only thing you want to bury into my body?”

“Oooh, Akemi, naughty girl.” He opened the door to his room. “What else do you want me bury into you?” He grinned as he walked her to his bed.

She felt her face turn red but continued with the teasing, she pushed him onto the bed and pressed her breasts into his face. He sighed happily as he shook his head between her mounds. She couldn’t help but laugh, he was like a child playing with his favorite toy, and she let him. It wasn’t just her chest he slathered with attention, he had her lay on her stomach as he kissed every inch of her back, her ass, down her thighs, she was purring at his lavish caresses. She didn’t make it back home until the next day, her body vibrating from the pleasure they had given each other, she felt rejuvenated. After a shower she heard a knock at her door, she opened it to find Kakashi on the other side.

“Kakashi, what’s up?” she smiled at him, she realized she didn’t feel that possessiveness of him anymore, well not as strongly, but she felt a swell of vindication at seeing him at her door looking sheepish.

“About yesterday…” he started, she cut him off with a wave of her hand inviting him in.

“You don’t owe me an explanation Kakashi. Really its fine.” She walked back to the coffee pot, “Coffee?” she offered.

He nodded, she poured out the steaming dark liquid into two mugs, she put sugar and creamer in hers, and held the sugar in his. They sat down and drank their coffee.

“I did want to talk to you about the other night though.” He put his mug down.

She cradled her cup, feeling the heat flow through her palms. “Oh, ok. What about it?”

“What you asked,” he gaped not sure how to put his thoughts into words, “Why did you ask that?”

She breathed out, “It was a dream Kakashi, I guess it had me feeling emotional.”

“A dream?” he looked at her unconvinced. “What was the dream about?”

She let out an exasperated sigh, “It wasn’t the dream exactly, more of the feeling I had after, like I wanted a connection with someone.” Her emerald eyes looked up to him, watching his reaction. She didn’t want to say the dream was specifically about him.

“Like you weren’t alone anymore?” his voice soft.

 She nodded, “Yes, companionship, that’s what I wanted.”

A small sardonic laugh came out of his mouth, “And then like the coward that I was ran off and left you alone for a week because hearing you say that freaked me out.”

She furrowed her brows and shook her head, “No, not a coward, I asked for too much, it was unfair for me to ask that of you.”

“Akemi, I’m sorry.” He looked down at his hands

She set her mug down. “Stop, don’t apologize there’s nothing to forgive, let’s just put it behind us and move on.” She tilted her head down to catch his eye, she smiled at him. “Ok?”

He nodded, “Ok.”

As the days passed, Sakura found herself feeling at peace with herself, she had two lovers, she hadn’t thought about going back to her time in a while, that actually worried her, was she so content here that she didn’t think about going back to her family? Thoughts of Sarada came up, she missed her daughter terribly, but there was nothing to do about it. Life had a way of sorting things out, after fucking it all up. No use worrying about it, it wasn’t something she could control anyways.

Things went back to Kakashi rapping on her window when he needed her company and she would go to Genma when she needed his. She heard the familiar knock on her window one night and she welcome Kakashi in. They had been sleeping, his chest on her back, arm draped on her stomach when they were woken by hard desperate knocking on her door, she dashed from the bed and threw on a robe. She opened the door. It was Raido, he was panting, a worried look on his face, her heart sank as their eyes met.

“Genma?” she chocked.

He nodded, “He’s at ANBU hospital, he requested you.” She had already ran back in, pulled on a pair of pants and shirt.

She was trying to hold back the tears that threatened to start.

Kakashi sat up on the bed, “Is there something I can do?”

She shook her head, “No, I’ll see you later.” She rushed back to Raido, grabbed her pouches, slipped on some sandals and followed him to the hospital. Raido gave her the run down. Genma had been partnered with Raido on a secret mission, she assumed assassination, Raido’s specialty, when they were attacked. The right side of Genma’s torso had been heavily damaged, broken bones, heavy bleeding. Genma had done basic first aid on himself and insisted to Raido that the only person to treat him be Akemi before passing out. Raido had brought him back to the village quickly and fetched her.

As soon as she arrived, she took over medical care for Genma, she looked over his x-rays and checked him herself with chakra. She turned to the other medics, “His entire right side is shattered, there’s internal bleeding, collapsed lung, his bones need to be healed. Prep a room for surgery.”

“But, it’s impossible to heal that kind of damage.” One medic piped up.

Sakura glared, yes for them it was impossible, but after Rock Lee, Tsunade had continued the research and so had Sakura, it wasn’t impossible just extremely fucken difficult, even with her seal. She scoffed, “I can do it, get me a surgery room now!” she barked. The medics ran out to get her room prepped, she cleaned herself and switched to scrubs and ran down the hall following him into surgery. “You better hold on Shiranui, I won’t give up so don’t give up on me.” She snapped at his unconscious face as she started the seals to her healing techniques, her seal activated, diamond glowing, black lines wrapping around her body. It took her over ten hours of putting every last bone fragment back together, along with healing his damaged heart and his lung. She had him put into a comfortable room for healing, she refused to leave his side or for anyone else to attend to him. When she finally collapsed of chakra exhaustion, she was put in the bed next to him, medics fearing her retribution if she woke up in a different room.

Sakura woke up to someone holding her hand, she felt someone sitting next to her, she cracked open her eyes and caught silver hair. “Kakashi…” she croaked out.

He brought her a glass of water, she sat up slowly, his hand on her back as he gently tilted the glass to her lips. She took slow sips then took the glass and finished it herself. He took it back and filled it again. She shook her head.

“Genma?” she asked, still groggy.

“He’s recovering. They said the surgery was a success. They’re saying it was nothing short of miraculous what you did.” Kakashi sat back so she could have an uninterrupted view of Genma’s bed.

She breathed out in relief, she felt her eyes water. “Oh thank gods. How long have I been out?”

“About eighteen hours.” He pressed the cup back in her hand, she finished half of it before handing it back.

“He’s been unconscious for about twenty-four hours then.” Kakashi nodded in confirmation.

“I came by this morning to see how you were both doing, they are talking about what you did with awe. They say you did something impossible.” A small smile tugged at his lips, “Always so impressive Akemi.” He sat up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

She felt a great sense of pride in herself and her abilities, she was glad she had been here to save Genma, no one else could have done what she did. “Yes, well, I’m happy I could help Genma. If I hadn’t been here, he wouldn’t be a shinobi anymore.”

“Lucky for all of us you are here.” Kakashi squeezed her hand. “You should rest.”

She did still feel tired, but she wanted to check on Genma before she fell back asleep. She walked over to him, looked at his chart the medics had been keeping, she checked his vitals and everything she had healed, he was recovering nicely, he would most likely remain unconscious for another day. She went back to her bed and crawled in. Kakashi pulled up the blankets and kissed her head.

“I’ll be back later, I’ll bring some food.” He saw her nod as her eyes closed.

When she woke up in the afternoon she went to take a shower, she was impressed at how nice the ANBU hospital was, the joined bathroom was spacious, still clinical but felt more comfortable. Even the beds were bigger and softer. As she stopped into the hot spray she remembered she didn’t really have a change of clothes, she should have asked Kakashi to bring some. She shrugged she could ask for a clean set of scrubs. She wrapped a towel around herself and pressed the button to call for a medic. The male medic that came looked at her in surprise and blushed at her request

She went over to Genma and checked on him again, he should be waking up soon, he would be in a cast for at least a month for his arm and shoulder to finish healing, he wouldn’t be too happy about that. She heard a light knock on the door, the medic brought her back clothes, she was pleasantly surprised he had brought her ANBU pants and tank top, much more comfortable than scrubs. She got dressed and put her hair in a messy bun, not having a brush to smooth out her hair. She went to sit beside Genma, she brushed back his hair, he looked so calm and peaceful, she bent down and gave him a peck on his lips. She sat backdown and held his left hand waiting for him to wake up.

Kakashi came back with food, Sakura scarfed it down, she hadn’t realized how hungry she was. “Thanks Kakashi.” She said through mouthfuls.

He chuckled. “I would have come sooner if I knew how hungry you were.”

As soon as they finished eating, Genma started to wake up, she ran to his side, he grimaced as he opened his eyes slowly. Her angelic face the first thing he saw. “Hi beautiful.” he muttered. She smiled at him, tears falling down her pretty eyes. “Don’t cry.” He tried to sit up and felt an intense pain on his right side.

“Stop moving.” She wiped the tears from her face, “Your right side was heavily damaged, it's going to hurt for a while.”

He groaned in pain and fell back on the bed, “You healed me?”

“Yes, but I can’t work miracles, stop being so reckless Shiranui.” She scolded light heartedly. “I’m going to move the bed so you can sit up.” he nodded as she pressed the button to adjust the bed up. She gave him water to drink. “I’ll be right back I need some things to run a check-up.” She walked out and left the two men as she tracked down the supply room.

“Have you been here too?” Genma turned to Kakashi.

“No, I just came to drop off some food for her, she had been knocked out from chakra exhaustion for eighteen hours after your surgery.” Kakashi picked up the remains of their dinner and threw it in the trash.

“She was out for that long?” Genma was shocked. “How bad was I?”

Kakashi sat down on the chair, “It was bad. No one thought you could be healed. Then she marched in here and told them she would heal you herself, they tried to tell her it was impossible to heal that type of damage, you would never have use of your right arm again. They said it took her ten hours to heal you and prove them wrong.”

Genma sat back pensively, “My days as a shinobi would be over if it wasn’t for her.” Kakashi nodded. “She’s amazing.”

“Yes she is.” Kakashi agreed.

“Think she’ll ever choose on of us?” the corner of his mouth quirked up.

Kakashi looked out the window to the falling snow. “It doesn’t matter, she has her own reason for doing things.”

“Yeah, but what if. Don’t deny you don’t think about it, being able to call her yours and to be hers.” Genma looked down at his cast.

The door opened at that moment, they both looked up at her, her eyes cast down, she had heard their conversation. “I can’t choose either one of you, even if I wanted to.”

“Why?” Genma pleaded.

She bit her lip, what could she tell them? What could she say that would make sense? “One day, I’ll disappear, I won’t even be able to say goodbye. I can’t choose anything long term because I honestly can’t promise I’ll stay.”

“How does that even make sense?” the brunette grimaced as he moved too quickly. “What do you mean you will disappear?”

Kakashi watched her face, full of sorrow, he stood up and took her hand in his. “I told you I would accept what you would give me, I mean that, but what would cause you to leave without a goodbye?”

“I can’t say, top secret.” She felt tears falling again as she gave him a sad smile.

“When will this be happening?” Genma asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Well I can’t accept that.” Genma growled.

Her jade eyes met his mahogany ones, “It’s doesn’t matter what you are willing to accept or not, it’s going to happen eventually.” She stepped up to Genma, “Maybe you will have fond memories of me once I’m gone.” She suddenly went still, she thought about what she had just said, they would have memories of her. She looked back at Kakashi, he couldn’t have memories of her, she would be his student. He would at least realize who she was when she would be in her twenties.  

“Something wrong?” Kakashi saw her look of panic.

She shook her head, “No, I just remembered something.” She turned back to Genma, “I need to take your temperature and run blood tests, make sure you don’t have any infections.” She put down the tray she was holding. He tried to protest, “Genma just drop it, it’s not easy for me either, don’t make it harder. Let me finish taking care of you, I can at least promise to heal you.” He clamped his mouth shut and nodded. After she took his blood, she left them again to drop it off at the lab.

“What does she mean with all of the disappearing stuff?” Genma ran his hand through his hair.

Kakashi shrugged, “I don’t know, but you should let it go. Be grateful to her, she just did the impossible in healing you.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s just so different.”

“She’s a healer. She can heal more than your body if you let her.” Kakashi gave him a knowing look.

Genma sighed, “Your right, I guess we should be grateful for the time we get with her.” Kakashi nodded. Genma looked back out the window, “It’s just… I really like her, like really like her, you know?” he looked over at the silver haired man.

Kakashi sighed, he looked down at his feet, “Yeah, well…” _You’re not the only one._ Kakashi held back that thought. “She’s made it clear she won’t make a decision. We need to live with that. She’s not leading us on, she’s being as honest as she can be.”

“How can you just accept that?” frustration in his voice.

“Because not everyone is like you Genma, some of us have secrets, some of us have to live with the things we have done, some of use have to live with the guilt. I don’t need some deep proclamation of her feelings for me and she doesn’t need it in return. I’m happy with the moments we share because its more than I deserve.”

Genma looked at Kakashi as he started to pace. Typical Kakashi with his self-loathing, guilt ridden self. Still, it made him sad to think that Kakashi felt he wasn’t deserving of happiness. Genma turned his eyes back to the window, maybe Kakashi understood her more than he did, they both had secrets, held on to sorrow and guilt. Kakashi was right, she wasn’t the type to want a big declaration, when she was with him she gave herself entirely to him, that should be telling enough.

When Genma was discharged from the hospital the next day, Sakura went home with him, she gave him his medications and instructions. “You take these after a meal ok?” she shook the bottle of pain killers. “And no more that on every six hours. Got it?”

He grinned at her, “Yes doctor. Hey did you grab one of those nurse uniforms?”

She smiled and shook her head, “No I did not, why would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I would love to see you in that little dress, and the hat.” He smirked.

She chuckled, “Glad to know one of your heads is thinking.”

“I get my own personal nurse.” He pulled her in to him gently and bent down to kiss her. “I do need a shower, care to help me?”

“How about a bath? It would be easier.” She unzipped his jacket and slid it off, he wasn’t wearing a shirt because of the cast. She left him and went to turn on the water. She came back and he was struggling with his pants, he gave her a sheepish smile. She laughed, “Need help?”

“Please. Hard to do with my left hand.” He let his arm drop to the side as she worked his zipper and buttons. He let out a hard breath as he felt her fingers on his hips as she started to slide his pants down leaving him naked. He was already half hard.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” she stood up, amusement in her voice. He slid off the sling and followed her into the bathroom. He dropped himself into the bathtub, careful to leave his cast hanging over the tub, the water was nice and hot, she had added some nice smelling oils into the water. He sighed in relief. “Is the water too hot?” she asked as he leaned his head back on the edge of the tub.

“No, it’s perfect. Aren’t you going to join me?” he smiled slyly.

“In a minute.” She started to take off her clothes, he watched her intently, she was still in her ANBU clothes, she peeled off the tank top, her breasts bounced free. He made a sound of appreciation. She bent down to take off her pants.

“You weren’t wearing any underwear?” he noticed as she kicked off her pants.

She laughed, “It was kind of an emergency, not time for underwear.” She went behind him on the tub, he had a traditional style shower, she took the spray nozzle and started to wash his hair, he was moaning softly as she massaged his scalp. When she was done with his hair, she took a washcloth and cleaned his chest and stomach gently.

“Mmmm… if I get this kind of attention from you after an injury, I might end up in the hospital more often.” He gave her a wolfish grin.

She kneeled beside him as she cleaned him, “I can put you in the hospital myself if you’d like.” She teased. She reached his thighs, she carefully cleaned around his hardened thickness. She heard a noise of disappointment as she moved down to his calves. She smirked to herself. “You are supposed to be recovering.” She motioned him to sit forward so she could wash his back, he sighed happily. She drained the dirty water and filled the tub again with clean water.

“I can’t help that such a beautiful medic is giving me a bath. I am thoroughly enjoying it.” he leaned his head back as she stood up, he let his eyes take in every one of her curves, “Can you give me a bath every day?”

She laughed as she cleaned herself, washing her own hair. When she was done she stepped into the tub with him, straddling him. “Well now that we’re both clean, we can enjoy a bath.”

His left hand went down to grab a handful of her ass and bring her closer to his hard cock, she gently rocked her pelvis over him, they both moaned. “Fuck, come here.” She leaned over to him and kissed him, she gripped the side of the tub as they moved their hips with eagerness, their tongues devouring each other. “I need to be inside of you Akemi.” He groaned between kisses, she lifted her hips so he could align himself to her entrance and she slowly moved down.

“Genma… so good… Oooh” she babbled on as she moved over him. She kept a deep but slow pace not wanting to be as rough as they usually were, she didn’t want to hurt him or to get his cast wet. She placed her forehead on his, they’re eyes locked into each other as she slid herself over him.

He watched her face with rapt attention, memorizing every time her eyes fluttered, how she would bite her lip and the deep groan that followed, he could feel her sweet breath with every gasp and pant, every moan and noise of pleasure she made brought him closer to his peak, gods she was beautiful. He felt her walls starting to contract around him, she closed her eyes, “No, look at me.” He commanded, she let out a whine and opened her gorgeous emerald eyes and looked at him as she climaxed. Her mouth slack from the pleasure, “That’s it, keep going.” He bucked his hips to meet her, she screamed. He slammed her down on his length, he groaned as his cock twitched and released his orgasm inside her waiting center.

They kissed each other as their peaks crested and fell, she sat back not wanting to put her weight on his chest, his hand moved up to cup her breast, thumb over her nipple. She sighed as he played with her body. “Feel better?” she chuckled.

“I think I can get used to this treatment.” He grinned.

“You are so dumb.” She lifted herself up, “You’re not supposed to be straining yourself.” She got out of the tub, wrapping a towel around herself.

He got out after her, she helped dry him, “Well that’s why you can be on top.” He gave her a wry smile. “And you could let me thank you.”

“And how would you thank me?” she walked out of the bathroom into his room, he followed.

He grabbed her by the arm and pushed her back onto the bed, she let out a small yelp, “I still have one working hand, and my mouth.” he climbed over her and licked her lips.

She groaned, she knew what he could do with that mouth, and he proceeded down to show her how grateful he was.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this chapter, favorite part? worst part? feelings? good? bad?  
> Thanks for reading! I appreciate your time!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time won't go slowly though  
> Always so fast  
> You are the answer to  
> Every question I've asked  
> And this could be the end of everything outside our walls  
> And empires could fall away and cities razed  
> And I know I'd only wanna fall in love with you  
> Only wanna fall in love with you  
> We need more time  
> But there's a little part of me that loves it when we rush  
> Can I go home?  
> Knowin' that I'll never feel how I do now  
> Time won't go slowly though  
> I bet it to last  
> I just wanna be here with you  
> That's all I ask
> 
> Time Won't Go Slowly - Snow Patrol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been having a little block with my two stories, this chapter was difficult to get right, I scrapped so many scenes and rewrote others many times. Hopefully what I want to convey comes across. Hope you enjoy!

The soft hum of the radiator heating up the room was lulling her to sleep. Sakura pulled up the comforters, she pressed herself closer to the body next to her, Genma was sleeping already but he snuggled closer to her, entangling their legs as she nuzzled into his chest. She listened to the soft beating of his heart, his gentle breathing, letting his joyful scent fill her as she drifted into sleep by his side.

The next morning, they were in the kitchen making breakfast, he was mostly just in her way, but she let him try to help because he was making her laugh with his clumsy attempts at cracking an egg with his left hand. “You are getting eggshells in the bowl.” She chastised.

He gave her a sheepish smile. “Fine, I can’t crack eggs.” He leaned back as he watched her make breakfast, she was wearing one of his long sleeve jonin shirts, her bare legs stretching out as she got on her toes to reach something above her head she couldn’t reach. He saw his shirt rise up, teasing him with a glimpse of her perky ass. She huffed, he chuckled, stepped behind her and grabbed the plate she was reaching for.

She looked back at him and gave him a grateful smile, he kissed her cheek, letting his hands pass over her hips. He couldn’t help the feeling of longing settle into his heart, for her to be in his kitchen everyday and scold him when he reached for the bacon that was still too hot. The fantasy of her being his created such an ache that he pulled her into his chest, he didn’t care how much pain he was still in, he just wanted to hold her and never let her go.

“Genma, are your pain killers kicking in?” she smiled up at him.

Those eyes, he would love to stay lost in them forever. “Probably.” He bent down to kiss her. He held back the words that threatened to spill from his lips. _Don’t leave, be mine, let me love you, stay forever_ , instead he savored the way she felt, committing her to his memory.

Sakura had spent a week with Genma, she would catch him watching her with a seriousness she wasn’t used to from him. She thought back to what she had told him and Kakashi, he had been the most upset, he wasn’t used to things not going his way. She knew Kakashi would be more understanding of her revelation, but there was still the problem of their memories, they couldn’t recognize her as little Sakura grew up. The problem tormented her mind.

After breakfast, she picked up her stuff that was strewn around Genma’s apartment. “I’ll be back tomorrow, I have to run a few errands, and I have to get real clothes.”

He smirked as she tugged at his shirt she was wearing, “I like you in my clothes.”

She pulled up the pants she had been given at the hospital, she found the long sleeve shirt she had put on when she dashed after Raido that night. She took off his shirt and threw it at his face, she grinned as she slipped on her own shirt.

He pulled off the fabric from his face, he bit the corner of his lip as he watched her put on her shirt, the sight of her bare breasts was always a treat. “Come back soon.”

She laughed, “You will survive without me.” She felt like a stone was lodged in her throat as she said the words, it was only meant to be a joke but since the hospital, there had been this tension, this need to tip toe around the day when she would no longer be here. She cleared her throat and smiled at him, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Take my coat, it’s snowing outside.” He ran his fingers through her hair.

She nodded, she gave him a kiss goodbye and bundled herself in his coat as she left him. When she arrived at her apartment, she showered, got dressed and started cleaning the kitchen and throwing out old food. She turned as she heard her window open, Kakashi stepped in. She felt her heart melt at his presence. He picked her up and put her on the counter, before she could say anything his lips were already on her, his kisses were hungry and needy. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs spread so he could fit between them. He shook off his cloak, he was in ANBU gear, he put his mask on the counter beside her.

“Are you leaving or coming back?” she managed between his kisses.

“Coming back.” He nibbled at her jaw. He had sensed her chakra and came straight to her instead of going home which was his original plan. He had this overwhelming urge to feel her against him. “I missed you.”

She was momentarily stunned, he normally would never say anything so sentimental to her, she knew he missed her by his actions, but he never verbalized his feeling to her. “You have me now.” lacing her fingers in his hair, she leaned her head back as he nipped down. His hands were tugging at the top of her pants, she lifted herself off the counter so he could pull them off, he quickly relieved her of her sweater leaving her naked on the counter, she gasped as he took her wrists and held them against the cabinets above her head.

He leaned back to take her in, her chest heaving, her milky skin on display for him, her pert rosy nipples, her bruised lips, and those eyes, like a forest he could lose himself in. “You’re so beautiful.” She blushed the same shade as her hair. She whimpered as his free hand moved up her thigh, she opened her legs slowly for him, her bottom lip between her teeth, he felt a low growl erupt from his chest.

“Kakashi…” she whispered.

Her voice was low and deep and full of desire, her legs were wide for him, he looked down to her, she was glistening, waiting for him. He groaned low in his throat, “So beautiful.” He fumbled with his pants as he pulled his throbbing length out, he heard another soft gasp from her as he pressed his tip against her sex, rubbing it against her pearl, she moaned. He bent down to take one of her hard nipples between his teeth, her body jerked as she pressed herself closer to him.

She felt her desire wind up in her stomach as he rubbed against her, she wanted to touch him, and to guide him into her, but her hands were held down, and while she could have escaped his grip easily enough, she let him restrain her. She felt her breath shorten with every teasing touch, she was loving the way he was caressing her body, him in his ANBU uniform was making her mind hazy. Something about him in the white vest and gauntlets, holding her wrists and using her was making her feel on fire. She wanted to beg for him to take her, but she held back, she was his right now, his to do what he wanted, and she was happy to relinquish control.

She was a dream, a dream he had no business being in, but he would take what he could, like a thief in the night. He would take every tremble, every sigh, every shuddering breath, the little whines, how she would move her head side to side when he hit a spot she really liked. He pressed the head of his aching cock into her entrance, he felt her hands lift from the cabinets before he regained his strength and pressed them back as his length filled her. He lifted his head from her chest to watch her as he moved slowly, relishing every moment. He kissed her, they moaned and whimpered against each other’s lips. His thumb went down to her clit, rubbing slow circles to match his trusts. He wanted this to last. He wanted to watch her slow descent into oblivion. When he was finally rewarded with her orgasm, he made sure to sear it into his memory, the way his name left her lips as she peaked was something he never wanted to forget. He let himself follow right after, filling her with his climax. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he lifted her and carried her to the bed to catch their breath.

“I’m glad you’re home.” She mumbled.

He made a soft sound of agreement as she settled in his arms. _Home._ Such an odd word. There were so many different definitions, was it a place? A feeling? A memory? He had heard the cheesy sayings, _home is where the heart is_ , he put his hand over his heart. Where was his heart? For so many years it was in darkness, home was the darkness. He glanced down at her face and stroked her hair, his heart couldn’t be hers, but it felt like he had less and less control of his heart lately, and knowing that one day she would be completely gone from his like made him want to push his heart back into that comfortable darkness that had been home for so long.

She felt his eyes on her, she opened her eyes to look at him, he seemed lost in thought, she wondered what he was thinking. She could ask him, he would probably tell her, but she liked the mystery more, she just committed his handsome face thinking to her memory. She finally got up, went to pick up her clothes to get dressed, the radiator wasn’t keeping the apartment as warm as she would like. She hung his cloak at the door, next to Genma’s coat. Her fingers grazed over both fabrics, she still needed a solution to her problem. She turned back to Kakashi who was now in the kitchen looking through her empty fridge.

“I’m sorry I just cleaned out my fridge.” She chuckled. “Want to go out for food? Or I can get take out.”

He closed the door, “Let’s go out. Ichiraku’s?”

She nodded “Ramen sound perfect.”

He wanted a quick shower and a change of clothes, he went back to his apartment and she could finish cleaning up. He came back, she grabbed her coat as they left to Ichiraku’s. Sakura was glad no one else was there as they ate, he seemed relaxed and even offered her a few rare smiles. As they walked back, they stopped by the store, she wanted to make hot chocolate. He took the bag from her as they walked back. They were walking close to each other, she blushed as her knuckles grazed his hand. She tried to pretend like it hadn’t happened, but then she felt his fingers lace between hers. She looked at him, he was looking ahead, but she could see a light pinkness at the top of his mask, she gripped his hand and stepped beside him as they walked.

As they got back to her apartment, Kakashi was being uncharacteristically affectionate, grazing touches, small kisses, he wasn’t the type to just kiss or touch her randomly, he even offered to brush her hair before they went to bed.

“Kakashi, is everything ok?” she looked up at him as she handed him her brush.

He moved to sit behind her so she couldn’t see his face, “Yes, why?” he ran the brush down her rose tresses.

“You are just being very touchy today. Not that I don’t like it,” she added quickly, “I’m just not used to it.” she bit the inside of her cheek, she hoped she didn’t sound like she was complaining, she hoped he wouldn’t stop.

He sighed, he moved her hair to the side when he was finished and kissed her shoulder. “This last mission was difficult.” He pulled her into his lap and nuzzled into the crook of her neck. “I’m grateful you’re in my life Akemi. After what you said in the hospital, I guess I don’t want to waste time not touching you.”

She looked back at him, he was looking away, stripe of pink across his cheeks to his ears. She smiled and leaned into him, he wrapped his arms around her. She felt like her heart was falling apart, she sniffed back her tears as she buried her face in his chest, his fingers running through her hair as he kissed the top of her head softly. At this moment she wanted to be Akemi forever, she never wanted to leave, she wanted him, and she wanted Genma in her life. In this moment she realized how much she cared for them both, she loved them. She also loved her daughter and her husband and no matter what happened, half her heart would be shattered.

The biting cold was seeping into her bones. She took in a steeling breath and watched as the condensation rose as she breathed out into the winter air. She lifted her hand and knocked at the gate and waited. She had chosen to go when she knew all the students would be at the Academy, the gate opened and she was met with sea green eyes, she sighed in relief.

“Inoichi-sama, do you have a moment?”

He opened the gate, “Akemi, come in, have a cup of tea to warm up.” he invited her in.

She followed him, she had been to this house countless times with Ino as a child and an adult, it felt like her second home. She felt her heart fill with calm just stepping through the front door.

“Please sit.” He motioned for her to sit down on the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen and brought back a tray of tea.

“Thank you Inoichi-sama.” Sakura prepared herself a cup, not just out of politeness, but she needed so gather her courage.

“What can I do for you Akemi?” he turned to her as he took a sip of his own cup.

She bit her lip, “I seem to be in a situation that I need your assistance with.” She lifted her eyes to meet his. “I have become involved with two men.” His eyes widened slightly, she blushed and looked down. “I can’t have Genma or Kakashi remembering me when I’m gone.”

He sat back, “You want me to erase their memories of you?”

She felt her lip quiver, “Yes, they can’t remember me. Everyone else should forget me with time.”

“Forgive me for asking, but have you found a solution to your time problem?” he eyed her curiously.

She shook her head, “No, I came to the conclusion that I have to be pulled back the same way I was sent here.”

He nodded, “Are you sure you want their memories of you erased?”

She took another deep breath to stop her emotions from coming through. “Yes, especially Kakashi, I can’t risk them recognizing me as Sakura gets older.”

He took another sip of his tea, “From what I have heard, they are both smitten with you. It would be a shame to take that away from them.”

She sat up startled, “People have noticed?”

He let out a light laugh, “We like our gossip, us shinobi. Our trade is information.” He put down his cup. “To make sure I understand, at some point you will be pulled back to your time but you have no idea when, once that happens I am to remove you from their minds.”

She nodded slowly as she hung her head. “Yes, can you help me?”

He stood up and paced, “It’s an easy enough thing to do, to seal away memories.” He watched her as she twisted here fingers trying to hold back tears. “I will help you. It seems to be tearing you apart to ask, so it must be important that it be done.”

Sakura couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, she let out a choked sob. “Thank you Inoichi-sama.” She rubbed her hands on her cheeks to remove her tears, but they kept flowing. He sat next to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

He gave her a handkerchief, she took it gratefully as she patted her eyes. “I see you care for them greatly.”

She looked up, her jade eyes sparkling from tears, “I-I… I love them both, and I love my husband who is waiting for me.” She dropped her head into her hands. “I don’t know how I got into this mess. You must think so poorly of me.”

“No, I have kept an eye on you, you are strong hearted and kind. I am glad my daughter and you are friends.” he gave her a kind smile.

“Ino taught me to believe in myself, and my sensei taught me to follow my heart.” She chuckled, “And I fell in love with him here.”

He looked at her questioningly, “Kakashi will be your sensei?”

She nodded, “Which is why he can’t remember me.”

Understanding passed his face, “I see.” He squeezed her shoulder in comfort. “I will make sure he doesn’t find out Sakura and Akemi are the same person.”

“Thank you.” She sniffled.

As she left, instead of feeling relief she felt her stomach roil at the thought that they would forget her as soon as she was gone. All the memories would be hers alone to be burdened with, when she was pulled back only she would suffer with the knowledge and the consequences. She walked into her apartment, she hung up her coat and saw Kakashi’s cloak still hanging next to Genma’s coat, he must have forgotten to take it with him. She grabbed both, they would never remember everything they had shared together. She sank to the floor, her knee’s buckling as tears flowed down freely, she clutched both to her chest as she sobbed. She buried her face in the fabrics, she could smell them both, her body trembled as she wailed into their coats, letting her heart shatter.

It was New Year’s Eve and she knew there was a big festival over at the gardens, she had decided she didn’t want to go out and instead she would wait for the new year alone. One less memory to weigh her down. She just poured a cup of hot chocolate then she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and smiled at Kakashi and Gai standing outside.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” Gai looked at her attire, sweats and a pullover.

She gave them a look of confusion. “Dressed for what?” she looked them over, Gai was in dark green pants and black shirt under his coat. Kakashi was in black pants and navy shirt under his jacket with a green scarf.

“For the New Year’s Party at the gardens. There’s going to be fireworks.” He beamed, trying to entice her.

She looked at Kakashi for help, he just shrugged, she scoffed, “I’m assuming I’m going to get no help from you.”

“If I have to go, you have to go.” He stepped into her apartment, Gai followed. She sighed in defeat.

“I just made hot chocolate.”  She whined.

“Oh I love hot chocolate!” Gai went to fill himself a mug.

“Well make yourself tea while I change.” She grumbled to Kakashi. She grabbed some clothes and changed in the bathroom. She brushed out her hair and added a little lip gloss. “Is this ok?” she asked them as she stepped out. She had put on black skinny jeans, a light blue sweater and a pair of booties.

Gai nodded, “Great, let’s go!”

“Can I finish my cup of chocolate first?” she looked over at the cup on the counter in longing, she smiled as Kakashi brought it to her. She drank it happily. “Ok now we can go.” She grabbed her coat as she followed them out.

Kakashi let Gai lead them, he turned to whisper at Akemi, “You look really good.” He let his hand graze her backside making her squeak and blush. He smiled to himself. When they arrived he watched as her face light up as she took in all the light strung up through the green houses and the outdoor gardens.

“It’s beautiful!” she gasped.

“And you didn’t want to come.” Kakashi teased.

They followed Gai and got started with drinks, after enough drinks she was laughing with Gai as they walked around the greenhouses, she pointed out different poisonous plants and Gai would choose a shinobi that he would use it on.

“This one causes unstoppable giggles for a few hours.” She pointed at one.

Gai sniggered, “Maybe that one can be for Kakashi, he needs to laugh.” They both laughed hard, holding on to each other as Kakashi rolled his eye at them.

“I don’t think he likes this game.” Sakura smirked.

“Well then let’s go dance.” Gai pulled her to one of the outside areas that had been set up as a dance floor, fun music with deep beats played as multi-colored lights moved over the dancers.

“Oh wait, Gai!” she tried to grab at Kakashi but Gai had already yanked her forward and she had no choice but to follow, Kakashi just waved at her, she could see the smirk in his eye.

She had more fun dancing with Gai than she expected, not that he was good exactly, just that he didn’t care and that made her want to dance like no one was watching. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw Kakashi leaning against a post watching her, she winked and rolled her hips for him, she saw him bring his hand to his face as he adjusted his mask. She started to move her hips in slow circles to the beat of the music. She was surprised when she felt a hand at her hips, she turned to see Genma, still in his cast.

He bent down to her ear, “Your ass looks good in those pants.”

“What are you doing here?” She breathed.

“Everyone is here, I wasn’t going to miss it because of a small injury.” He smirked.

She scoffed, “Small injury… just be careful.”

“Yes doctor.” He nipped at her ear and was gone.

She saw him head over to Kakashi, she was pulled back into the crowed by Gai and she kept dancing loosing track of time until she heard the speakers say it was five minutes to midnight. She managed to stumble out of the dance floor, she grabbed a drink from one of the passing waiters and looked for Kakashi. She found him and Genma sitting on a couch that had been placed outside for lounging, they both looked up at her as she approached, they made space for her between them to sit.

She let out a large breath and finished the rest of her drink. “I don’t understand the stamina Gai has.”

“None of us do.” Genma took the empty glass from her and put it on a table. “But it looked like you were having fun.” He gave her a smile. Kakashi made a noise of agreement.

She blushed and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Oh… well… it was fun.”

“She’s so cute when she does that, isn’t she Kakashi?” Genma teased. Her blush deepened.

“When her cheeks match her hair.” Kakashi said in a light joking voice.

“Stop it! I can’t handle both of you teasing me.” She buried her face in her hands. She heard them both chuckle and take a hand, forcing her face to be uncovered, she was sure her face was a bright red, especially since each of them laced their fingers with hers.

They heard a voice over the speakers, the midnight countdown was starting. She tightened her hold on their hands, she wanted to remember this. They both leaned over and kissed her cheeks at midnight. She felt the world fall away, she felt Genma’s warm lips and Kakashi’s masked kiss, she never wanted to forget. They watched the fireworks together, their hands spreading warmth through her, she felt tears prickling at her eyes, she wasn’t sure if she felt grateful for this moment or angry at the unfairness of it all.

It was a month before Genma’s cast was ready to come off. They were in his apartment sitting on a chair. She sliced through it with her chakra scalpel, inspecting his arm and shoulder. She moved him to test his joints, she flowed chakra to ease some of the stiffness.

“Like new.” He grinned as he swung his arm and wiggled his fingers.

She gave him a narrow look, “Just because the cast is off doesn’t mean you are done healing, you are going to need physical therapy. Be careful, be gentle with your body, don’t abuse it.”

He smirked as he ran his right hand over her thighs and rested on her rear. “Yes doctor.”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t think you understand the position you were in Shiranui, the amount of damage I had to fix.” His other hand reached up to her other cheek as he pulled her closer to him.

“I wouldn’t have a right arm if it wasn’t for you.” He used that right hand to give her rear a squeeze.

“Ten hours of putting you back together. No one else could have done it but me, I won’t let you screw up that hard work.” She stepped between his legs.

“I’ll be careful.” He pressed his face to her stomach.

“You better.” She brought her knee up to the chair close to his growing bulge. “because I refuse to heal you if you hurt yourself again by being reckless.” She tugged at his hair so he looked up to her face as her knee rubbed against him.

He let out a playful growl, the way she was talking to him, her authoritative tone, he loved it. “I would never do anything to upset my beautiful and terrifying medic.” He looked up at her with a look of fake seriousness.

She lifted her knee against his hardness, he groaned at the pressure, she bent down to his ear, “If you’re good, I’ll reward you, if not…” she nipped at his ear, her voice low and dark, “You won’t like the punishment.” She felt him shudder under her. She smirked to herself, and in a swift move she was away from him. He pouted at her distance. “I need to go, I’ll see you later.” She grabbed her things and was walking out the door.

“Hey wait, you can’t just leave me like this.” He pointed at the tent between his legs.

“You have your right hand back, I thought I would let you get reacquainted.” She winked at him. “Just, be gentle.”

“Akemi…” he growled as she walked out the door. “Damn tease.” He yelled as she closed the door behind her, her giggles ringing in his ears.

She was just going to run to the store and come back, she wondered what he would do in her absence. she picked up the healing balm she was looking for and headed back to his apartment. She turned the corner on his hallway and was surprised to see a pretty girl standing in front of his door, a flirty smile on her plump lips, she had a basket in her hands she was offering to Genma, who was still shirtless. Sakura stood frozen unsure on what to do, she almost wanted to laugh, of course he would have girls coming to check on him and try to take care of him, the other part of her felt like grabbing that girl by her shiny black hair and throwing her out the window.

She turned around and was about to walk out, but the floor creaked causing Genma to look up and see her. She smiled, embarrassed, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just dropping off this healing balm.” The girl was shooting daggers at her. “I’m just his medic.” She offered the girl as she walked over to the door to give Genma the pot of balm.

Genma looked at Akemi curiously, and turned back to the girl, “I’m sorry Ren, maybe another time.”

The girl stood mouth agape as Genma pulled Akemi into his apartment and closed the door, setting down the basket the girl had given him. “What was that all about? Why did you say you were just my medic?”

“Well, I didn’t want to… I don’t know, ruin your chances, or come in between, whatever that was.” She waived her hands between him and the door.

He laughed, “You were worried about ruining my chances of hooking up with her?” he laughed harder holding his stomach. “You can be such an idiot sometimes.”

Sakura bristled, “I’m an idiot? You’re an idiot! That girl was obviously trying to be nice to you and you were rude.”

“That girl has been coming by to try to get in my pants, and her muffins aren’t that great.” He glanced at the basket, “They’re a bit dry.”

She crossed her arms, “Ok and? She was pretty.” She grumbled.

“And is that what you want? For me to bed another woman?” he was still laughing. “Or were you jealous?”

She was becoming aggravated. “It’s not about what I want, it’s not my call.” She clenched her fists, “Will you stop laughing?” He hiccupped as he tried to control himself. She slammed the container down on the table, “Forget it, I’m leaving.”

He reached for her and pulled her back, “No don’t leave, my beautiful idiot.” He chuckled. She tried to pull herself away from him, but he had a firm grip on her. “Hey, I’m still healing remember, be gentle with me.”

“I am about to put you back in the hospital Shiranui.” She growled.

He lifted her chin, “Why would you think I could possibly want anyone else but you?” She stood speechless, “How could you think I would choose someone else over you?”

“I’m not asking you to choose me over anyone else.” She stammered.

“No, I understand the agreement, but I’ll always pick you over any of them given the chance.” He bent down to kiss her deeply. “And I had the chance right now, and you owe me for how you left me earlier. Damn tease.” he smirked against her lips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, she felt incredibly selfish and a little smug that he had pulled her into his arms and closed the door in the other girl’s face. She let him guide her to his room and spent the afternoon letting his right hand memorize her body again.

Sakura was walking down the market when she felt herself thrown up on someone’s back, yelping in surprise. She opened her eyes to see his bowl cut and beaming smile. “Gai, what are you doing?”

“I need your help, someone with your taijutsu expertise.” He ran down the street, she ducked and held on, no point arguing. He took her to one of the indoor training grounds and set her down.

She huffed as she tamed her hair. “What do you need Gai?”

“I need a sparring partner!” He threw her a ribbon.

She looked at it in confusion, “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“You specialize in evasion, tie it around your waist and try to keep me from taking it from you.” He grinned.

She chuckled as she shook her head, but did as he asked. She hadn’t had a good spar in a while. “You have fifteen minutes to try to take it.” she took off her heavy coat, put her hair in a ponytail and slipped on her gloves.  She turned to him, they gave the sign for friendly sparring, and when the clock struck the next minute they took off. She was used to his style of fighting from training with Lee, but it was still enough his own style that she had to adjust for it. She flipped sideways as a kick came up, she pivoted on her hand and changed direction, he was surprised when she was beside him. She dropped back as his arm swung to her face and back flipped out of his range.

He was fast, and she could tell just from the force in the air he wasn’t pulling punches, if he actually landed one it would hurt. She used extra chakra to keep up with him, after fifteen minutes, she fell back on the ground laughing, holding the ribbon. He had been close many times but she still had it.

“You have been a worthy adversary!” he proclaimed. “How about best two out of three?” he challenged.

She was feeling competitive. She stood up, tied the ribbon at her side and got back into stance, “You’re on!”

He managed to get the ribbon the second time, but she managed to keep it the third round. She put her hands on her knees as she caught her breath, “That was fun, thanks Gai.” She offered him the ribbon.

“No, you keep it. I’ll get it next time.” He grinned. “Now I have to do 500 laps around the building on my hands for losing.” He quickly flipped on his hands and started. She sat down and stretched, letting her muscles loosen up. She heard someone approach her, she looked up and saw Kakashi smiling at her.

“Where did you come from?” he pointed at the bleachers, she had hadn’t realized there were spectators. She blushed, “Was everyone watching?”

He sat down in front of her, “It was entertaining, and I made money by betting on you.”

She laughed, she straightened her legs, anchored on his feet and reached for his hands, he pulled her towards him until her chest was touching the ground. She lifted herself back up, “You better take me out with those earnings.”

He chuckled, “Sure, wherever you want to go.”

Gai came back around, “Want to see who can do the most pushups?”

“There’s no competing with your stamina Gai.” Kakashi answered passively.

“I was shopping for groceries when I was kidnapped.” Sakura stood up and grabbed her coat.

“Oh come on! 600 pushups?” Gai begged.

Sakura laughed, “My shishou used to make me train by sitting on my back while I did pushups, and when that wasn’t heavy enough, she’d put boulders on me. I never want to do another pushup in my life.”

Both men stared at her dumbfounded, “Your master did what?” Gai tumbled down, “That’s genius!”

“Your master sounds… intense.” Kakashi said in admiration. “What’s the heaviest you reached?”

“I don’t know like a ton.” She dismissed, starting to feel uncomfortable.

They both looked at her wide eyed, “A ton?” Gai said in disbelief.

“How strong are you?” Kakashi looked down her petite frame.

“I don’t actually know, I suppose as long as I have chakra, its limitless. Anyways, I should get going.” She put her arms through her coat.

“What’s the strongest opponent you ever faced?” Gai was staring at her in excitement.

She bit her lip, _Well I fought a god, and an army, more than once,_ she wasn’t sure what to say, “I fought a hundred puppets at once with the help of one other.” That was her favorite fight, the first time she was able to really use all the abilities she had learned and came out victorious, without the help of Naruto or Sasuke.

Kakashi stood up, “Incredible.” He gave her an impressed smile. “We’re going Gai, see you later.” He started walking, she followed, waving at Gai. “He would rope us in to something if we didn’t get out of there.”

Sakura giggled, “It was fun though.”

“So how about some hot chocolate with these earnings?” he asked.

She nodded eagerly, “Hot chocolate sounds great.” They walked through the snow and the first café they came across was in the civilian sector, and it was very… feminine, light lavender walls, doilies, lace, and decorated for Valentine’s Day which was that weekend, red hearts and cupids everywhere. It was not somewhere she would ever consider going with Kakashi. Yet he headed for the door to her surprise. “Are you sure you want to go here?” she asked, “There’s the café by District Three.” A no frills café, none of these floral patterns everywhere.

He looked at her in confusion, “Is this place not good?”

“That’s not it.” she twisted her hands.

“So, why don’t you want to go in?” his hand on the door handle.

She almost wanted to laugh at the image of a Kakashi, the Great Copy Ninja, sitting in such a girly establishment. She shook her head, “Let’s just go in.”

She stepped in and looked at Kakashi who didn’t seem to be phased by anything around him, he spotted an empty table in the corner and guided her to it. Now she actually laughed, he quirked his head at her in question. “It’s just funny, you don’t look like you belong in a place like this.”

He looked around, there were groups of girls a few couples, he shrugged. “As long as I get my drink I don’t really care.”

Their waitress came up to them, Sakura immediately recognized her shiny black hair, she looked at the girl’s name tag, Ren, and apparently she recognized Sakura, giving her a strained smile. “What can I get for you?”

Sakura wanted to evaporate, “I’ll um, take a hot chocolate and a sponge cake please.”

Kakashi glanced at the menu, “I’ll just have a tea, no sweetener.”

She wrote it on her note pad, “Anything to eat?”

He shook his head, “No thank you, I’ll share with her.”

Sakura felt her face turn red, the girl gave her a look that could kill as she stalked off. She probably thought that she was playing both Genma and Kakashi. She looked over behind the counter and saw the girl talking to a few others, looking over at her, she wanted to die.

“Are you ok?” Kakashi reached for her hand.

“Oh yes, I just need to go wash my hands.” She stood up and went to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and breathed in deeply. She collected herself, telling herself she wasn’t going to let this girl ruin her mood. She wiped her face and walked back out.

“Feel better?” Kakashi looked up at her as she sat down.

She nodded and smiled. He placed his hand out for her, she reached for it as his thumb rubbed the top of her hand. “You have been distracted lately.”

She looked at him, she was surprised he was bringing it up. She had been a little off since seeing Inoichi, wanting to enjoy every moment she could but also a sorrowful ache in her heart that remained making happy memories bitter. She looked down at his hand, his long fingers, a few scratches and scars peeking from his fingerless gloves. “Maybe someday you can tell me how you got this scar.” She pointed to one that went up the length of the inside of his ring finger.

He chuckled, “That one has a boring story.”

“Still, I’d like to know.” She traced it with her finger, he laced his fingers in hers. “You know people might think we’re on a date.”

“Is that a problem?”

She could sense his smirk. “I guess not. Is that why you picked this place?”

He looked around, “What’s wrong with this place? It’s not shinobi enough for you?”

She laughed, “I guess I just don’t come to places like this.” She used to, with Ino, Hinata, Temari, TenTen, Tamaki and Karui, but that seemed like a lifetime ago, as if she was a different person.

“Would a shinobi bar be more your thing?” he teased

“It just might actually.” She smirked.

The waitress came with their drinks and cake and set them down leaving without a second glance. They finished their drinks and the cake, he accompanied her to the market so she could finish her shopping and they went back to her apartment. She hung up her coat, he hung his next to hers, she still had Genma’s not wanting to give it back just yet. They put away the groceries, she tugged at her shirt, “I need a shower before I make dinner.”

He nodded and watched her as she stripped throwing her clothes into the hamper as she walked into the bathroom. She turned to him and winked, rolling her hips like she had on the dance floor of New Year’s, he felt the same breathlessness he had that night, but seeing her perfectly sculpted naked rear,  he groaned and followed her into the shower as she giggled.

She woke up to the light filtering through the curtains, she looked over to her lover, he was on his stomach, his arm over her waist, she looked over his broad and muscular back, his brunette hair hanging over his sleeping face. She looked over at the clock, it had the date on it, it was Valentine’s Day. She had been dreading this day, normally she looked forward to it, she loved Love, but right now she had complicated feelings about Love. She looked over at one of those reasons as he shifted in his sleep. Maybe she could sneak out and disappear for the day.

She gently moved his hand and slid out of bed. She moved around the room collecting her clothes as quietly as only a shinobi could. She put on her pants and shirt, grabbing her coat and shoes by the front door, she would put them on outside. She softly turned the door knob and cracked the door open, she heard a clatter as she opened the door, her heart froze. There were packages against his door, she opened the door and in her rush to get out she bumped into someone. A redhead this time.

“What are you doing here?” they redhead screeched holding a small box.

Sakura winced, of fucken course, he had admirers, she should have snuck out the living room window. Sakura brought her finger to her lips trying to silence her, but she just kept babbling on that she was the one that was two timing the two most eligible bachelors in Konoha. Sakura didn’t even bother with getting upset, gave up on trying to silence her and tried to walk past her instead.

“Where are you going?” the girl yelled.

Sakura rolled her eyes, “I just want to go home.”

“You probably want to go to Kakashi you two timing slut.” The redhead erupted.

Sakura stopped in her tracks, she felt her blood boil in an instant, her fist clenched, without thinking she swung her arm, this girl wasn’t a shinobi, and would end up seriously injured, but Sakura thought of none of those things, more importantly didn’t care. In a flash she felt her arm being redirected to the door, it disintegrated into splinters as her fist connected. She stood back in horror of what she could have almost done, the girl about fainted at the knowledge that Sakura’s strength had been directed at her head. Between them stood Genma, in boxers, holding her wrist.

“Those are not nice things to say Mika.” He looked over to the redhead in anger, she blanched.

“But… she… she… I would never do that to you!” the stuttered.

“It’s none of your business, and if I were you, I would never anger this kunoichi, she’s quite vicious and incredibly strong when angered, despite her looks.” He turned his eyes to Akemi. “And you, we don’t swing those kind of punches at civilians.”

He looked disappointed and slightly angry. Sakura stood up straight. “Let me go.” She said slowly, she still felt the rage coursing through her.

“Why are you leaving?” he looked hurt now.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. Let me go.” She bit out.

He stepped up to her, his other hand grabbed the back of her neck, he kissed her hard. “Fine but come back.” He whispered against her lips. He let her go.

She stood confused for a second, still feeling her lips prickling from his bruising kiss, she heard the girl let out a wailing cry as she ran down the hall, he shrugged and turned looking at his shattered door. She heard him mutter something about getting Tenzo to fix it. She turned on her heels and walked down the stairs, halfway down she stopped to put on her shoes and coat and headed to her apartment. She saw a single pink lily on her table. She looked at the note.

_Happy Valentine’s Day  
-K_

She smiled, this was so sweet, just like Kakashi to be simple and to the point, she could barely tolerate it. She showered quickly and headed out, she didn’t want to be around any more men, or couples or anything remotely to do with Valentine’s day. Normally she would look forward to this day, she would buy flowers and put them in front of her wedding picture, Sarada would ask her about how her and Sasuke fell in love, well more how she fell in love with Sasuke, and now, she was questioning the strength of her love for Sasuke. Did she love him less because she also loved two other men, or did her heart grow to accommodate that love?

She found herself at an empty training ground. Love, so damn stupid, Love made you act stupid, made you do stupid things, made you say stupid things, Love was stupid. She punched a tree log that was upright for target practice. She felt good seeing it splinter. Loving one man was bad enough, but loving three? That was stupid. She punched another log. Loving her sensei, loving a man that had tried to kill her, loving an eternal bachelor. Stupid. Another log. She was so god damn stupid. A kick this time to the innocent wood. She was so stupid thinking she could have a perfect life full of love like in story books. So stupid. She ran out of logs. She stomped the ground creating a crater.

And yet… she saw Sarada’s face, she loved her more than life itself, she was a gift, created by her love with Sasuke, and maybe people didn’t understand him, but she knew Sasuke, he loved her back in his own way. That didn’t mean he wasn’t flawed, and she was frustrated at how their relationship made her feel so lonely and starved for love and affection. She was so stupid. Not that Kakashi and Genma were perfect, one afraid of opening himself to others and the other terrified of commitment. And she loved them, she loved them all, but she wasn’t going to have them all, she could have Kakashi and Genma, or she could have Sasuke and Sarada, the choice wasn’t even hers to make. Stupid. Still, she would stupidly love them all because she had no choice. Her stupid heart would make her do stupid things because of love.

She had managed to avoid both Kakashi and Genma for a couple of days after Valentine’s Day. Kakashi was the one that went to her first, slipping into her bed in the night, he was such a constant presence that she didn’t even wake when he curled up around her, she wasn’t even surprised when she woke up and he was sleeping next to her. She just got up and made breakfast, he joined her like he usually did and when they were done cooking, they sat and ate. She glanced at the blooming lily that was still on her table, her heart softened.

“Thank you for the flower.” She finally spoke.

“It’s wasn’t much.” He mumbled.

She put her hand over his, “It’s perfect.” She looked into his eyes wanting to impart her sincerity.

He nodded, “I’m glad you like it.”

Sakura pushed food around her plate, she bit her lip, “Kakashi,” he looked up at her, “am I… how do you feel about me and you and Genma?” she managed to get out.

He sighed “Is this about Valentine’s Day and the girl?” she looked at him in surprise, “I’m sorry you had a rough day, she should have never said what she did. Genma told me.”

She looked down at their hands, maybe she was a two, no three-timing slut. She picked up her plate, not able to eat anymore. “It was just the words of a jealous girl. Not that I understand why, they are more than welcome to pursue him, I don’t own him, he can do what he wants. You too, I don’t claim either of you. If you both want to go be with someone else you can.”

He looked at her back, she was trembling, the plate she was holding broke in her hands. He shot up and swept her up in his arms. She hiccupped in surprise. “You are so brilliant, and then there’s times, you can’t see what is so obviously in front of you.” He set her down on the couch and looked at her hands, she had a few deep cuts, he reached for her pouches where she kept her medic supplies, he cleaned the wounds for her and watched as she healed her own hands.

“It’s difficult to heal my own hands.” she said softly.

He took her hands in his, “We will always choose you if we have the option, and you are not whatever that girl called you, not at all. Don’t let it bother you.”

Tears welled in her eyes, “How is that fair? I can’t choose either one of you.”

“Genma and I aren’t worried about fairness, we just want you in our lives.” He kissed her knuckles. “For as long as we can have you.”

The tears fell, “Kakashi, this is odd, but when it happens, when I vanish, got to Inoichi-sama, he will know what to do.”

He could see her pain, he wanted to ask her questions, to ask why she had to leave, why it was she didn’t have a choice, what had she gotten herself into, but she had made it clear she wasn’t going to talk about it. Instead he pulled her into his lap and stroked her hair as she sniffled.

As March came along, she felt a heaviness settle in her heart. Her birthday was at the end of the month and so was Sarada’s. For the last few years Sasuke had made it a point to be home for their birthdays. She had been here for about nine months, she wanted to be home right now, with her family. While she was rarely sleeping alone these days, the other part of her felt an aching loneliness, she wanted her daughter, she missed being a mother.

She decided to go for a walk to clear her mind, the snow melted, green starting to peek from the earth. She went to the waterfall, it was too cold to get in the water but hearing the calming rush of water brought her heart solace. She sat on a rock, arms around her knees, her eyes closed as she listened. She let herself cry, she was crying so much again.

She stopped by a bar, she needed a drink. She was joined by Gai sliding in next to her. She quirked her eyebrow in surprise.

“Why are you here alone?” He asked in a gentle tone.

She took a sip of her whiskey, “Just drowning sorrows Gai. What are you doing here?”

He lifted his own drink, “Same, it’s the anniversary of my father’s death.” He gave her a soft smile before taking a gulp of his glass.

She was astonished at his revelation, she never knew Gai to be a person to dwell on the past or to talk about his personal life. He seemed so muted, not the bright Gai she was used to. She signaled for another round and they drank with their melancholy. After Gai left her, she found her way to Genma, stumbling up the stairs, she wasn’t sure why she chose to go to Genma, she just felt that she wanted sunshine. She felt herself knock at his door and then be swept up in his strong arms, he kissed her face gently, lovingly.

He took her to his bed, he took off her shoes and clothes, wrapping her up his blankets and his arms. She was crying again, he swiped away the tears from her face. He held her and soothed her as she fell asleep. He ran her fingers through her hair, feeling the silkiness fall through his fingers. He watched a teardrop fall down her lashes in her sleep, he felt his own eyes sting. Time, they had time against them, she would leave someday, and he was sure no matter when it actually happened it would be too soon. His heart clenched at the thought that he wouldn’t always be able to hold her, he let his own silent tears fall into her hair.

She woke him up in the morning with hungry eager kisses. She climbed on top of him, her emerald eyes full of sorrow but seeking comfort, she moved slow, she moved savoring every touch, every feeling, every sound. He was gentle, sensual, adoring. Their touches longing, their kisses full of emotion and when they both fell into the euphoria, she felt loved and she hoped he felt her love for him. She let him hold her, he was oddly quiet. She had grown to look forward to his teasing, but he hadn’t said a word, he held her against his chest and stroked her hair, she listened to his heartbeat.

He breathed in her fresh fruity scent, he enjoyed the way her fingers liked to traced his arms. He grabbed her hand and kissed each finger, she looked up to him and smiled. She was radiant. He knew his feelings for her the moment he started turning down girls and not regretting it. He hadn’t told her but not one of them compared to her and he would lay in bed wishing it was Akemi, aching for her, and it just wasn’t fair for the girl next to him.

“Are you all right?” her voice soft as she traced his lips with her fingers.

He smiled and squeezed her, she groaned in discomfort before he eased his hold on her. “I’m just grateful you are in my arms.”

She smiled back, “Me too.”

As the days passed she felt a buzzing in her skin, an anxiety she didn’t know where it was coming from. She would feel it fill her to the bones randomly, she was getting migraines, it was like a screech that vibrated through her and it would send her spiraling that she would have to sit down. Her chakra had no healing affect on the migraines or the nausea. She found herself in an alley holding on to the wall as she emptied out the contents of her stomach. She felt someone come up to her and ask her if she was ok, she groaned, she opened her eyes to see green, Gai, he grabbed her by the waist and helped her back to her apartment.

She went to lay down, he filled a glass with water, she drank it slowly. He disappeared saying he was getting help, leaving her reeling from the grinding sensation in her body, her mind was a vortex, she couldn’t think, she just felt a darkness creep in from the edges of her vision. She woke up shivering, she groaned as she felt the electric itching feeling around her, not as strong as before but uncomfortable.

“Shh, it’s ok.” She heard a voice, she felt a hand touch her face. “You’re burning up. Kakashi, can you get some ice water.” It was Genma, he was the one talking. She felt a rush of air as he left her side. She moaned out.

She felt another hand touch her forehead, she felt herself being lifted up to a sitting position. “here, drink.” A glass was pressed to her lips, she reached up to grab the glass, Kakashi’s fingers making sure she wouldn’t spill.

She was parched, she gulped it down. When she was done he took the cup back. “Kakashi,” her throat still dry, “what’s wrong with me?” she knew she wasn’t susceptible to any illness, not even a common cold, and she had antibodies to most poisons.

He set her back down gently and brushed back her hair, “We don’t know, we were hoping you would tell us.”

She opened her eyes, she looked up at his eye full of worry. “I’m hot.”

“You have a fever.” Genma came back with a towel, he soaked it in a bowl of ice water.

She nodded, “Open the window, I need cold air.” She reached for her shirt, “Get me a tank top.” She pointed at a drawer, she took off her shirt and bra, slipping on the top one of them gave her, she pulled off her pants leaving her in panties. She sighed as she felt the cold air hit her skin. She laid back down, one of them pulled thin sheets over her and put the cold towel on her forehead. “In my cabinet, where my healing herbs are, take a pouch that’s labeled for fevers, heat the water right before it boils, drop the bag in the water for exactly 3 and a half minutes.”

“I’ll do it.” Kakashi got up and did as instructed.

Genma placed his hand on her chest, she felt the cooling sensation of healing chakra through her. She chuckled, “You know medical ninjutsu?”

He grinned at her, “I know a lot of different things, but I just know the basics. The weird part is I can’t locate a source, I already called a medic earlier to look at you and they were baffled.”

“I’m not surprised, what ever is happening to me isn’t normal.” She reached for his hand and flowed her own chakra with his. “It’s like my body is rejecting a virus but its not within me.” She sighed, they both stopped their chakra, he held her hand.

Kakashi came back with her tea, she drank it slowly, “Can’t you use your jutsu?” he pressed his finger on the diamond on her forehead.

She tried, but that static feeling around her was interfering with her chakra. She shook her head. “I don’t know why but I can’t activate the seal, not that it would do anything, it’s active enough to take care of regular illnesses, what is affecting me is something different.”

“What can we do?” Genma squeezed her hand.

She thought, the only ones she would trust would be Tsunade or Shizune, but they weren’t here. “I don’t know, its not poison, its not internal, is it external?” she turned to Kakashi, “Your sharingan, it can see chakra right?”

He nodded, understanding what she was thinking, he pulled up his headband and activated his sharingan. “There’s like a hazy fog of chakra around you.”

She wondered, could it be she was being pulled back? A virus wasn’t attacking her, she was the virus being attacked, she didn’t belong in this time. She reached for Kakashi’s hand, “I’m tired.” She smiled as best she could at both of them, they both looked alarmed. She felt unconsciousness tugging at her, she fell back asleep.

She opened her eyes slowly, she looked up at the same ceiling tiles she had stared at the last nine months. Her heart dropped, she wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved. She could have sworn she would wake up back at her own time, but she looked over to her side, Kakashi was sleeping next to her and Genma was on the couch. She took a quick inventory of herself, she felt completely fine again. She reached over to Kakashi’s hand, he jerked awake.

“Akemi, you’re here.” He cupped her face.

She smiled and giggled, “Why wouldn’t I be here?” it was best to play dumb.

He kissed her, “How are you feeling?” He pulled his mask up again.

“I feel fine now.” she sat up.

Genma had woken up and sat next to her on the bed. “You’re ok?” he felt her forehead.

She nodded, “Yeah must have been some twenty-four-hour virus.” Both men looked at each other, a look passed between them, like they didn’t believe her. She smiled at them, “Really, I’m fine.”

“There was a weird chakra around you all night.” Kakashi activated his sharingan again, there was nothing around her, she was back to normal.

“Satisfied?” the corner of her mouth turned up.

“No, what the hell was that Akemi?” Genma pulled at her hand.

“I don’t know, but I’m fine now and that’s what matters.” She tried to soothe, they didn’t seem convinced.

Neither could argue with her, Kakashi got up and went to the kitchen. Genma took a moment to give her a quick kiss. “You gave us a hell of a scare.”

“I’m sorry.” She looked down at her hands, she hadn’t been expecting to apologize to the both of them, she had expected to be back with Sasuke and Sarada. Could it be she was wrong? Could it have been something else? In which case it was worrisome.

He kissed her forehead. “I’m just glad your fine.”

“Thank you for staying with me.” She looked up as Kakashi brought her a cup of tea. She sipped it slowly, “So how did you decide who got the couch?” she teased.

Genma grumbled, “Rock, paper, scissors.”

She laughed, “Thanks for being my nurses.” She gave each a kiss on the cheek. “I need a shower.” Neither moved watching her expectantly. “Um, get out.” She pointed to the door.

Kakashi looked a little hurt, Genma smirked, “Nothing we haven’t seen before.”

Her face turned red, she threw a pillow at him, “Get out, both of you!”

Genma laughed, “Fine, let’s go.” He turned to Kakashi. “Seems she’s back to normal.” Kakashi nodded and followed him out.

She watched them leave, and when she heard the door click close she brought her knees up and hugged herself. She was confused, she wasn’t sure what had happened, she knew she had been feeling that static feeling for the last few days, she thought maybe what she felt yesterday meant she was going back, yet here she was, still in her studio apartment. She threw the blankets off and showered. The days after she was never alone, Kakashi and Genma seemed to have coordinated shifts because one of them was always with her. She wanted to laugh at how sweet they were being and also wanted to beat them away to give her alone time. They never left her side no matter how much she threatened them.

“You both are acting like I’m going to evaporate into thin air or something.” She joked as she was putting on her clothes after a night with Genma.

“Maybe we’re just worried.” He shrugged as he sat up on the bed.

“You both need to give me a break, I need some me time.” she glared.

He stood up, naked, and gave her a crushing hug, “What? Don’t you like us?” he teased.

“Stop it, I can’t breathe.” She gasped out. He let her go and laughed. She shook her head at his silliness. “I’ll see you later.” She pulled him down for a kiss. His lips lingered against hers not wanting to let her go, she pulled away gently, her eyes looking into his mahogany ones, she could see something there, something she hoped he could see in her eyes.

He gulped, his throat dry, “Akemi…” he started softly, “I…”

She kissed him again stopping his words. _No don’t say it, don’t say it please, it will just break my heart hearing you say it out loud._ She broke off, “I have to go.” She turned and dashed out before he could say anymore. She took in shaking breathes as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she didn’t want to hear him say it, she could see it in his eyes, that was enough. She walked out into the early spring air.

She was grateful to have the rest of the day to herself, but when she was back in her own bed she was also glad at the familiar rapping at her window. She smiled as he stepped it, she pulled the sheets aside for him to slip into bed with her. Kakashi showed her how he felt with every touch and kiss, she didn’t have to worry about him saying anything, he wouldn’t ever say the words to her, and she wanted it that way. It would be too painful to hear it.

She was woken up with screaming, people screaming her name. Her name. _Sakura. Momma._ She jerked up, she was on grass, it was morning, the dew still on the blades. She felt herself being enveloped in fabric. She looked around wildly as she felt bodies crash into her, holding her, grabbing at her. She was bewildered as her eyes focused. She looked down to see two heads of midnight black hair against her. Sasuke and Sarada. She gasped, she was back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would appreciate any thoughts and comments!  
> Thanks for your time!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, this is the end....

She blinked, trying to make sure she wasn’t in a dream, but Sarada was solidly sobbing against her shoulder. Her daughter's scent hit her, she knew she wasn’t in a dream. This was real. She was back.

“Momma, I missed you Momma.” Sarada looked up, her ebony eyes sparkling through tears.

Sakura saw her daughter’s eyes and cried. She wrapped her arms around her. “I missed you too baby, so much.” She cried. She kissed Sarada all over her face, Sarada giggled, normally she would try to wiggle away, but this time she stayed still for her mother’s affection. Sakura felt a tug on her other side, she turned to Sasuke’s mismatched eyes.

He gave her a small smile, “I got you back.”

She chuckled lightly, “Took you long enough.”

He reached for her cheek, rubbing away the moisture, his fingers lingered before he stood up. He held out his hand, Sarada let go of Sakura as she reached for his hand and was pulled up to her feet. She suddenly found herself in his arms, pulled against him. “It was annoying getting you back.” He whispered in her ear.

“Sorry for the trouble.” She leaned into him.

He reached for her waist under his cloak that he had wrapped around her. She realized she wasn’t wearing anything underneath, she blushed. Then her heart sank as she realized why she was nude.

“Why are you naked?” He asked, his fingers falling down to her hips.

“I, uh, don’t know.” She pressed herself into his body, she felt him stiffen. “I love you, I missed you.” She put her head on his shoulder. She did miss him, she missed her husband, it was a feeling that filled her heart for all the months and years he was away from her. She gave him a small kiss where his jaw ended. She saw his ear turn red and the blush reach his cheeks.

He cleared his throat, “Sakura…”  he gently pushed her away.

She was confused and hurt. She wanted her husband to kiss her, and hold her, and tell her that he loved her, instead he was pushing her away. Genma wouldn’t do that, Genma would envelope her in his arms and kiss her and tell her how beautiful she was and how much he missed her. Kakashi would at least run his hands down her body to make sure she was ok and then give her a masked kiss on the forehead and say something about being glad she was back. She felt her eyes sting and her heart crack. She hung her head, why did she keep expecting him to change?

She heard an awkward laugh from behind her, she turned and saw Naruto and Boruto. Boruto dropped his head in a bow, “I’m so sorry auntie.”

She gripped Sasuke’s cloak closer and walked over to Boruto, “Please don’t apologize, there’s nothing to forgive.” She lifted his head up and ruffled his hair.

Naruto beamed at her pulling her into a hug, “Glad you’re back.”

She hugged him back, “I have so many questions, but I would like to put some clothes on.” She laughed.

“Of course, I’m sure you want to catch up with your family.” She nodded. “I’ll see you later.” She waived as they both left.

She turned back to her family, Sarada bound up to her and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Are you ok Momma? You were gone for so long.”

“How long was I gone? When is it?” Sakura wasn’t sure how this time travel thing worked.

“You were gone for nine months, it’s March 20th.”

Sakura kissed the top of her daughter’s head, “You’re taller than me now.” Tears fell again, “You were all alone, what did you do?”

Sarada grabbed her hand in reassurance, “After you disappeared, Boruto and I went back to the village to find Uncle Naruto and Uncle Kakashi.  They sent a message to Dad, we all tried to figure out what happened, we tried to replicate the conditions, but we couldn’t figure it out.” Sarada ended sadly.

“Did Dad come back to take care of you?” Sakura asked.

Sarada shook her head, “I can take care of myself Momma, I’m almost sixteen, but everyone came by to check on me while I was alone.”

Sakura narrowed her eyes, “How long were you alone?” How long did it take Sasuke to come back to the village to take care of his daughter was the real question.

“Dad arrived a few weeks ago.”

Sakura turned to look at him, she felt hurt, she felt anger, resentment. Was he so far removed that he didn’t know his wife was missing and his daughter needed him? He looked down and walked ahead of them. She entered her home for the first time in nine months. She was breathless, this was her home, all the pictures, all the trinkets, the furniture she had picked out, she felt overwhelmed.

“Why don’t you take a bath Momma? We’ll be right here when you’re ready.” Sarada pulled her up the stairs.

Sakura nodded, a bath sounded good. She opened the door to her room, everything was where she had left it, she noticed it had been dusted recently, the bed was made differently than she would normally make it, Sasuke had been sleeping here. She took off his black cloak and put it on the bed. She stared at it, it reminded her of Kakashi’s ANBU cloak. She pushed back the tears threatening to spill. She went to the bathroom, turning on the water, filling the tub with scalding hot water. She had just taken a bath with Genma a few days before. She stepped in, letting the heat sting against her skin.

She hugged her knees, she was back, back with her family and friends, back in her time. She wondered if they would remember her, or rather Akemi. She wondered if Inoichi had done what she asked. She didn’t stop the tears this time, letting them fall and create ripples on the bathwater. She sobbed into her hand, not wanting anyone to hear, she was Sakura again, she was both ecstatic and enraged. She comes back and her husband didn’t rush back to find her, her daughter spent the time alone, and while she knew she was more than capable, she shouldn’t have been alone for so long. If she asked Sasuke where he was for so long, he would just give her some vague answer. She sobbed in anger, she wanted to scream, he had barely looked at her, barely touched her, she wanted to be kissed, and held and shown affection. Genma and Kakashi had spoiled her with attention, she didn’t know how she could go back to Sasuke’s limited contact.

She splashed water on her face and scrubbed, she needed to let Genma and Kakashi go, they were gone, they didn’t know who she was, she wasn’t even a memory to them. She let the water drip from her face, Akemi, they wouldn’t know Akemi, they knew Sakura, which was she right now? She had been Akemi for so long it was hard to shed that skin, she still thought as Akemi, she still thought of the men Akemi loved, that she loved. She took in shallow breaths, she had just been tangled with Kakashi after making love, not hours ago, and now, almost thirty years later he didn’t even know the name Akemi. She could still feel his touches and kisses on her skin, she could still taste Genma and hear his laughter. She bit down on her knuckles to muffle her cries.

She looked through her closet, feeling all her clothes, her mission gear that was hardly used, her white coats well worn from her work at the clinic, she couldn’t seem to pick something out. She found some black pants and a simple white shirt, something she found in the back of her drawers. She sat by the window looking out in the village, so different from the village she had just been ripped from. That’s where Sasuke found her, a silent trail of tears down her cheeks.

He kneeled down in front of her, his hand reaching for hers, she sniffled and took it, “Why didn’t you come sooner?”

He looked down, his lips tight in a grimace, he held her hand tighter and looked up at her jade eyes. “I was… somewhere I couldn’t be reached.”

She looked down at his eyes, she could see pain, regret, and relief, and behind all of that, the love he held for her. He pulled himself up and kissed her softly, she stayed still, then she let out a sobbing breath, her husband, the love of her life, was now holding her. She buried her face into his neck.

“I missed you.” He said into her hair.

She let out a laughing sob, “Then don’t leave and stay, you could have saved me sooner if you were here.”

He stroked her hair, “I wish it were different Sakura, but know that I miss you every time I leave. This time, I was the one calling you home.”

She hiccupped, “How did you get me back?”

He sat back down, wiping at her tear stained face, I had Boruto use his Jogan to trace your chakra and with my Rinnegan, I was able to transport you back. It took a few tries, I couldn’t get a hold of you properly. I almost had you about five days ago but I hadn’t found the right frequency? It’s difficult to explain.”

Five days ago was when she was sick, “That must be why I felt the migraines, and that vibration in my bones.”

“Probably.” He put his hand on her thigh, she put her own over it. “Where did you go?”

She bit her lip and looked away, out the window. “I didn’t go anywhere, I just went back in time.”

His eyes widened in surprise, “Back in time?”

She nodded slowly, “Yes, I was in Konoha twenty-nine years ago.”

“How? What did you do?” he squeezed her hand.

She took in a deep breath, “I pretended to be someone else, at first I tried to find my own way back but I couldn’t so I decided to trust in everyone here to get me back.” She turned to look at his face, “I met Itachi.” He was startled. “I even went on a mission with him, before…” she left it unspoken, she knew he would know what she was referring to.

“You were there?” He stood up, there was an unreadable look on his face.

“Yes, I was there on that night.” Her mouth felt numb as she thought about the night of the Massacre.

“You didn’t stop it?” the words left before he could stop them. She jumped up, her eyes full of hurt.

“You wanted me to stop it? I wasn’t there to change history Sasuke. I spent nine months hoping to come back, I get back and as usual you are unreachable, our daughter had to go through this alone. Did you think about how scared she was? She had lost her mother and her father was nowhere to be found. Our pasts are written, don’t be upset at me for not changing it.” She pushed past him and walked down the stairs, she grabbed some shoes from the front door and ran out. It all felt so stifling. She took to the roofs and headed back to where she had appeared.

She needed to clear her mind, it was all too much at the moment. She had expected to wake up in Kakashi’s arms, have breakfast with him, maybe have sex with him again. She groaned, no that wasn’t her life, this was, she had a daughter, that she loved more than life, she should be with her. She walked through the trees and saw a familiar rock face, the entrance to the Blood Cave. She had appeared both times near the Blood Cave. She walked back down to the spot she had transported to. She looked around, there didn’t seem to be anything special about the area. After sufficiently calming down, she went back home to her family.

It felt odd to go through the motions of making dinner, Sarada helped, Sasuke was nearby but quiet. She listened to Sarada as she told her everything she had done in Sakura’s absence, most of it trying to find Sasuke. They ate, Sarada asked questions about Sakura’s time away, she kept her answers vague, boring, not wanting to get into details. After they cleaned up Sarada went to her room leaving Sasuke and her in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” he started.

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t apologize, I was a bit harsh too.” Her eyes met his and in a few steps from him she was in his arms, his hand on her waist pulling her towards him. She breathed him in, he smelled like midnight, musky and dark and like a breeze, she missed him. She lifted her head from his chest to look up at him, “Kiss me.”

He brought his hand up to cradle the back of her head, he bent down and did as she asked. Her sweetness filling him, he kissed her slowly, he wanted to take his time, this time it wasn’t just him that was away from home, but she had been too. He could feel she was different, her kisses were different, they were hungrier, more passionate. She was normally happy to gently guide him to what she wanted, but now her hands were at his shirt tugging it, she nipped at his lips. He groaned, “Sakura, we’re in the kitchen.” He muttered between her lips.

“And?” she had sex in the kitchen before. She pulled back, she had never had sex in the kitchen with Sasuke. “Oh, sorry.” She tucked her hair back, she realized the length, stopping at her shoulders instead of her back.

He watched her as she walked to the stairs, even the way she walked was different, there was a sway to her hips that he hadn’t seen before. She reached the base of the stairs and looked back at him, she gave him a smile, a flirty confident smile, not the shy and demure one he was used to. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but he followed her to their bedroom. He was glad to be with his wife, to have her naked above him, yet there was that new way she rolled her hips, and undulated over him, the different places she touched and kissed, he wondered if it was that he spent too much time away or if there was something that she wasn’t telling him while she had been gone. He flipped her over on her back, she was louder, he had to remind her that their daughter was in the house, maybe he would tell Sarada another night to go to Choji’s.

Sakura hooked her legs over him as he showed her who her husband was. It had been so long since she had been with him, and she missed him. He still knew every spot she liked, yet there were a few spots he hadn’t discovered, but Kakashi had, and Genma had found others. She fought to push them out of her mind, she was with Sasuke, her husband. She finally gave in to his pleasure, he pulled out before he finished, his seed on her thighs and stomach. She remembered he didn’t like finishing inside of her.

He saw a look of disappointment flash across her face, he knew why, they had talked about it in the past, he thought she had accepted it but evidently it still didn’t satisfy her. “Sorry for the mess.”

She gave him a small smile. “It’s ok, I get it. I just have to clean up.” she moved to get up, he sat back and let her go to the bathroom. She wiped off his orgasm from her skin and splashed water on her face, gods she missed the way Kakashi and Genma would orgasm inside of her, the twitch of their cocks, the hot pressure of their orgasm as it filled her, it felt like they belonged together like that. Sasuke had said he didn’t like it because he didn’t want more children, she was hurt that he would assume she would get pregnant without his consent, she was a medic, she had explained before, she wouldn’t get pregnant, but to him, he just didn’t like the thought, the possibility. She had stopped fighting it through the years.

Sakura woke up early, before the sun rose. She looked over at Sasuke’s sleeping form and slipped out of the house. She went back to the clearing by the Blood Cave, she sat down on a log, waiting for the sun to rise, the reason for her other name. She heard a shuffling through the grass, she didn’t bother feeling threatened, anyone trying to sneak up on her wouldn’t make such careless noises, the other person was probably out for a walk as well. She looked over to where the other person emerged, she stood up when she saw that unmistakable silver hair. “Kakashi.” She gasped, her heart quickening.

“Sakura-chan, I had heard you were back.” He smiled brightly.

His voice, she wanted to melt into him, she wanted his hands on her skin, his hot kisses everywhere. She wanted to reach for him until she remembered this wasn’t her Kakashi. This was her sensei. She shook herself from her thoughts, pushed back the tears that threatened to spill and kept her hands firmly at her side. She cleared her throat, “Yes.” was all she could manage.

He walked over to her and ruffled her hair, something he did to her and Naruto, she recognized it as his way to show affection, but she wanted more, she ached for more.

“I missed you Sakura-chan.” He said kindly.

“You have me now.” she breathed out, remembering what he had done to her on the kitchen counter the last time she had said that.

His hand moved down to her shoulder, “I’m glad you’re home.” She looked, tired, was the best word he could think of, her eyes were sad and far away, she was stiff, she was usually so carefree.

She looked to the horizon, the twilight peeking. Home. She was home, so odd to think of two different places as home, isn’t there only supposed to be one home? Her heart was split, yes she was home but she wasn’t, even if she hadn’t been brought back she still would suffer the paradox of being home and at the same time not being home.

Kakashi squeezed her shoulder gently, “How are you doing Sakura?”

She looked up to his two eyes, the color of slate, she could see a few deep wrinkles from his smiles, just yesterday they were smooth. She gave him a smile back, “I’ll be fine. So, did you miss me?” she teased trying to be playful, she remembered she would ask him every time they came back together after either had a mission.

He chuckled, “Of course Sakura, you gave us quiet a scare.”

“What did you miss about me?” she bit her lip, she shouldn’t have asked that. She shouldn’t be trying to reenact the moments she had shared with her Kakashi, but she couldn’t stop herself.

He looked at her curiously, “Your smile.”

He normally would say the way she tasted or her kisses, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear and looked away. “What are you doing up so early sensei?” all teasing gone from her voice.

He noticed the change in her mood, he went to sit down on the log, “I just wanted a walk, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone out here.” He looked around the forest, “If I remember correctly, the Blood Cave should be up there.” He looked toward the entrance.

She looked at him in surprise, “You know about the Blood Cave?”

“Sure, Fugaku brought me here to train my Sharingan, but the last time I was here was about thirty years ago. You disappeared in the Blood Cave.” Sakura nodded. “There’s a story among the Uchihas, the cave would protect itself from non-sharingan wielders.”

“Oh? How would it protect itself?” she was curious.

He shrugged, “No idea, it was just a story to keep people from trying to find the Cave.” He put his hand on his chin, “I suppose you’re the closest thing to proving that story true.” He stood up and brushed himself off, “Either way, I’m glad you’re back.” He started walking, then as a thought hit him, he stopped and turned back to her. “Though, there was someone I once knew, I found her right here, right where you are standing.” He shook his head, scratched the back of his neck, and smiled embarrassed at having said anything. “But I doubt she was a victim of the cave.”

Sakura’s heart stopped, had she not been erased, “What happened to her?” she spoke carefully.

His eyes looked down in memory, “She disappeared, she left the village one night and never returned. The story was, she was in an arranged marriage to someone from another village and she had been called to fulfill her promise.”

She bit her lip to stop any sound of surprise from escaping her, “What was she like?” she couldn’t help but ask.

His eyes were melancholy but reminiscent, “She was radiant, fierce, strong and kind.”

“Sound like you liked her sensei.” She tried to smile, her heart cracking under the surface.

He smiled longingly at the upcoming sunrise, “I haven’t told many people this, but I loved her. She was the first woman I was ever with and the only woman I have ever really loved.”

Sakura covered her mouth to shove down a sob. “She sounds special.” Her voice barely a whisper.

His eyes watching the sunrise intently, “She was. She helped me through a very dark time in my life, and even though it still took many years to let go of the pain and darkness, I’ll always be grateful to her.”

“What did she look like?” she asked, watching as his expression softened, his eyes crinkling in a smile, she wished she could see his face, his lips as he smiled.

“She had beautiful hazel-green eyes, long strawberry-blonde hair, she was tiny but could level mountains, not unlike yourself in that regard. I think you would have liked her.”

The orange and pink sunrise was beginning, she studied it as the colors brightened against the sky. A new day, a new day where she was Sakura and not Akemi. “Did she have a name?”

“Yes.” there was something wrong, her hands were clenched into fists. He walked over to her.

“Will you tell me her name?” she didn’t want to look at him, if she saw his face she would breakdown.

“I don’t…” he held back, she was trembling.

“Please.” Her voice strained.

He moved in front of her and pulled her into a hug, he let her cry into his chest. He didn’t pretend to know what she had gone through, she was still reeling with everything. She had just come back yesterday, he didn’t even know what she had experienced, he brushed her hair soothingly.

Sakura breathed in his scent, calming her, she knew she was being stupid, asking those questions, but she wanted to know if he remembered. He shouldn’t remember, that had been the plan with Inoichi, but it seemed that Inoichi had been clever in disguising Akemi in Kakashi’s mind but not erasing her. She didn’t know if she should be thankful or not. She stepped away from him, she was already feeling her skin prickle at his touch. She wiped her face and turned back to the sunrise.

“I’m here if you need someone Sakura.” He said gently.

She nodded, she wanted to reach for his hand but she stopped herself. “It’s a pretty sunrise.”

He followed her gaze to watch the rising sun, “It really is.” He reached for her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I’ll be around.” He let her go and turned to leave, he stopped and looked back at her, “Akemi.”

Sakura watched him disappear into the foliage, her heart was hammering, was he answering her question or was he calling her that name? Did he know? Was it just her wishing he knew? Did it matter? She was married and a mother here, she had responsibilities, she couldn’t chase after him.

Days passed, people came to visit her, to ask her questions, to make sure she was adjusting well, it was annoying. She knew they meant well, she knew they cared and she was even grateful to the ones that had been there for Sarada, but she felt overwhelmed with attention, she had spent nine months avoiding attention, and now she was in the middle of it. She kept going back to the clearing by the Blood Cave, she wasn’t sure what she expected, if she was being honest with herself, some deep part of her wanted to go back and she hated herself for it.

She was torn from her thoughts as Sasuke appeared from the trees. He went to sit next to her, he took her hand as they sat together in silence. She hadn’t really talked about everything that she had done in the last nine months, and he knew better than to push her. She leaned into his shoulder, he pulled her closer, his hand on her hips. He kissed her forehead, she smiled, these were the moments she treasured with him, the moments he showed her his love. He wasn’t one to be affectionate in front of others, but when they were alone, he was always touching her.

“I love you Sakura.” He said softly into her hair.

She looked up to him, she hadn’t heard those words in a very long time. “Say it again.” she pleaded.

He blushed, “I love you.” He bent down to kiss her before she could ask again. He felt her smile against his lips, “I know I should say it more often, but I hope you know I do, even when I don’t say the words, even when I don’t know how to show you properly.” His hand went up to her neck, holding her lips against his.

Her hand went up to his chest, grabbing at his shirt, “I love you too Sasuke, I do.” She kissed him with longing, she wanted to feel loved, with Sasuke she had to draw it out, he wasn’t like Genma who gave it freely. She didn’t want to be patient, he was her husband, she should be able to claim it, it to demand his love. She swung her legs over his lap, he looked up at her in surprise. “Please Sasuke, love me, I don’t want to have to beg you all the time to show me love. I’m your wife, I’m _your_ woman, show me I’m yours and you’re mine.”

There was a desperation in her voice, and the way she said the she was _his_ woman, it made him wonder, and it made him possessive. He took off his cloak and threw it behind them and pulled her down to his mouth, his tongue pushing past her lips, she moaned, her tongue meeting his, he brought them down on the forest floor over his cloak. She worked up the buttons of his vest, then his shirt. He worked on her shirt until she was in her bra. They made quick work of the rest of their clothes, she was under him, her emerald eyes, dark and expectant. “You’re so beautiful Sakura, I don’t say that enough either.”

“Then show me.” Sakura ran her hands down his back to his hips, pushing him down into her. He kissed her as he entered her. It had been a long time since she had seen this side of him, his lips everywhere, his touches like fire, he was passionate, he wasn’t holding back, she took in all the grunts, groans and moans that escaped him. He was saying all the things he held back, how much he loved her, how much he missed her, how he liked the way she felt. She felt like her heart would burst with love for him, this, this was her Sasuke, the one only she knew about.

She cried out his name as she climaxed, “You’re mine Sakura, all mine.” He continued, wanting his own release.

She felt him try to pull out, she wrapped her legs around his waist. “No, please, I want all of you. Cum with me.” He groaned as he spilled himself inside of her, she trembled under him, a satisfied moan passed her lips. “Yes…mmmph… oh yes…”

He watched her face of ecstasy, he kissed her softly, her eyes fluttered open, she smiled up at him. “It’s been a while since we’ve had sex in the forest.” The corner of his mouth turned up.

She laughed, reaching up to brush his hair back, “Maybe we should do it more often?”

“Maybe.” He gave her a quick kiss and got up, he held his hand out for her and pulled her up. They got dressed and walked back.

Sakura reached for his hand, he let her take it, she smiled to herself. They walked past the dango shop and noticed Gai, Kurenai and Genma sitting down. Genma lifted his eyes at the same moment she saw his face, she felt her heart stop as his chocolate eyes met hers. He gave her a polite smile, she was just Sakura Uchiha, nothing more to him. She turned back to Sasuke, she was Sakura Uchiha, she wasn’t Akemi anymore.

“Tomorrow is your birthday and two days later is Sarada’s, did you decide what you wanted to do?” he looked at her, she was lost in thought. He squeezed her hand to get her attention, “Sakura?”

She tore herself away from her mind and considered his question, “Oh, nothing over the top, its Sarada’s sixteenth birthday, it should be about her.”

They made it home, Sarada jumped up from the couch, she beamed at them as she noticed their joined hands. They both blushed and separate, Sakura went to Sarada, “We were talking about your birthday party.”

“Oh! You don’t have to worry about it, it’s taken care of.” Sarada sank back into the couch.

Sakura caught Sasuke’s eyes, he shrugged, “What do you mean?”

“I already have it planned, it’s nothing crazy, just a dinner for both of us.” Sarada pulled out a menu from a local restaurant, she handed it to Sakura. “I already have the reservations.”

Sakura looked at it, she knew this place, “And it has nothing to do that this restaurant opens as a club after hours.” She gave her daughter a knowing smile.

Sarada ducked her head, “Well.. they allow minors on the dance floor. Please Mom?”

Sakura chuckled, “Sure, have fun with your friends, just no drinking and be back by three.”

“Wait three in the morning?” Sasuke sounded unsure. The two looked at him in confusion and then giggled. He couldn’t help but think of how alike they were, same teasing laughs, Sarada might have his coloring, but she had her mother’s face.

“It’s fine Sasuke, she’s a shinobi, she can handle herself since she’s awakened her Mangekyo.” Sakura gave her back the pamphlet, “And now I don’t have to worry about birthdays.”

Sarada looked at her confused, “What do you mean awakened my Mangekyo?

Sakura looked at Sasuke for help and back at Sarada, “Didn’t you awaken it when I was transported? I assumed it might have been your Mangekyo.”

Sarada shook her head, “No Momma, I don’t think that will ever be possible for me, being half Uchiha.”

Sakura sat on the couch, “Then how?”

Sasuke moved to sit next to her, Sarada took her hand, “I truly don’t know, I felt a chakra come from the walls of the cave, Boruto had activated his Jogan, he could see the chakra that took you and but since you didn’t go to another dimension exactly it was difficult to track you when Dad came back.”

“Boruto helped me track your chakra through my dimension hopping abilities, but again, it wasn’t another dimension, it was a rift in time. It was difficult to get you back. I have never tried my abilities with time.” Sasuke rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

“So it had nothing to do with Uchiha dojutsus? I thought it might be something with Izanagi, or a Mangekyo power like Kamui. I was so wrong.” She thought of Kakashi’s story. “Do you know how the Cave works?” she asked Sasuke.

“Not really, I only found out about it recently in some books from the Uchiha, but there wasn’t much of a description on how it worked. The Uchiha’s tended to pass things down orally. We were a paranoid secretive clan, as you know.” He answered.

“It’s doesn’t matter, you’re back.” Sarada hugged her.

“You’re right, just curious.” She hugged her daughter back.

The birthday party came and went, her daughter back on missions again and Sasuke talking about leaving again soon. She was starting to feel lonely. She had only been back two weeks and they both thought that was enough time for her to adjust. No matter how much sex she had with Sasuke the ghost of her two lovers still haunted her, she hadn’t seen them again, but gods she wanted to, Sasuke and Sarada were the ones holding her back and when they were both gone, she worried she wouldn’t have the strength to not seek them out. Maybe she could take up active missions herself, she missed them, going back to the clinic full time didn’t seem like a good enough distraction, she would still be in the village every night, too dangerously close to Kakashi and Genma, and the memories. Maybe she could get her own genin team. She should think about it carefully.

Sasuke stayed another week before he left, he said he would try to be back in four months this time, he wanted more time with his family he told her. Sarada had been assigned a month long mission not long after Sasuke’s departure leaving Sakura in the situation she had been so worried about. She threw herself into the clinic, working until she was too tired to think. Her days became monotonous, she would go out with her friends when they invited her out, but it wasn’t the same as it used to be. Part of her wished for a shinobi bar and a whiskey instead of some frilly café and wine.

She left them as soon as she could and walked to the rooftop gardens, some early spring flowers already blooming. She breathed in all the flowery freshness of the garden, tears fell down her face, why did it have to be like this? Why did she have to fall in love with Kakashi and Genma? It would have been so easy if she hadn’t and had come back to Sasuke just as in love as before but now, her heart was shattering, every breath painful, like glass shredding her lungs. Her heart felt like it was a thousand times heavier. She let out heaving sobs unable to contain the turmoil and pain inside of her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked up through tear covered eyes, a familiar masked face, she threw herself at his chest, “Kakashi.” She sobbed out. “I want my Kakashi.” She mumbled through sobs.

Kakashi held her, stroking her hair, he couldn’t quiet catch watch she was muttering, but he kept hearing his name. “I’m here Sakura. I have you.” She was clinging desperately to him, he had never seen Sakura so broken hearted in her life, at least not since Sasuke defected when they were children. He let her cry.

She didn’t want to let go of him, she wanted to be in his arms always, she wanted to be surrounded by his scent, she wanted to drown in him. His touches were all wrong, they were the careful comforting touches of her sensei not the heated loving touches of her lover. She felt like heaving, her stomach disgusted by what she was wanting, and it just made her cry harder. She finally tore herself away from him, “I’m sorry sensei.” She bolted off across the rooftops.

Kakashi stood stunned, her emerald eyes sparkling from tears, he was fighting the feeling to chase after her and make sure she was going to be ok or letting her handle it on her own. Before he could make a decision, Genma appeared beside him.

“What was that about?” Genma twirled his senbon in his mouth.

“I think she hasn’t acclimated yet. She’s been gone for nine months, who knows what happened in that time.” Kakashi stared off in the direction she left, her eyes tugging at his mind.

“Nine months… huh… a lot can happen in nine months. Remember her, we only had her for nine months, and then she was gone.” Genma scratched under his bandana in thought. “Actually, wouldn’t it have been twenty-nine years exactly on the day Sakura came back? That’s a strange coincidence.” Genma bit down and turned to Kakashi.

“And I found her twenty-nine years from the day Sakura disappeared.” Kakashi had his hand on his chin in thought.

“It can’t be her though. Akemi, had auburn hair and honey colored eyes.” Genma sifted through his memories.

Kakashi looked at him quizzically, “Auburn and honey colored? No, she had strawberry-blonde hair and hazel eyes with green specks.”

“No, I remember, there’s no way I could forget her. I could forget my own name but never her.” the brunette shook his head.

“The first thing I did after I woke up and found her missing, I went to Inoichi-sama as she requested.” Kakashi tried to remember what had happened that day, he hadn’t in a long time because it was still a painful memory.

“I had been summoned to by Lord Third to help Inoichi with a prisoner that day, but I don’t remember much else.” Genma chewed on the senbon. ““This is stupid, it can’t be Sakura, it’s just a coincidence is all.”

Something was nagging at Kakashi’s mind, Genma and him had different recollections of Akemi, he didn’t doubt Genma’s description of her as he didn’t doubt his own. There was one place they could confirm what she looked like. “I can go to the shinobi identification archives.”

“Oh, that will show her picture.” Genma followed Kakashi.

As a previous Hokage, Kakashi easily entered the archives and found what he was looking for, but the picture that stared back wasn’t the woman either had described, she was plain and brunette. He looked for her history, but there was none, like she had only existed for those nine months. It wasn’t uncommon for ANBU Root, and he couldn’t discount that possibility.

“What’s easier to believe, she was Root or she was Sakura?” Genma asked.

Kakashi shook his head, “Honestly, it doesn’t matter, Akemi left our lives a long time ago, and Lord Third wanted her to remain anonymous enough to have Inoichi-sama change memories of her in our minds. It was Akemi that asked to speak to Inoichi-sama when I found her, but why not just remove her from our minds? Would have been easier.”

Genma shrugged. “What are we supposed to do about it now?”

Kakashi thought as he stared down at the picture of the random woman on Akemi’s identification. “Nothing, the Akemi we knew is gone. Even if it is Sakura, she has a husband and daughter.”

“But she had that when she appeared those thirty years ago. Maybe we didn’t know it, but she did.” Genma scratched at his chin. “That would explain the guilt.”

Kakashi nodded. “She can’t run from it this time, plus we are not the same age anymore, I’m fourteen years older, you’re seventeen years older. She was my student, if it is her, for us, it has ended.”

“But, I loved her, she’s been the only one.” Genma said softly, remembering her kisses, even after thirty years, they still came to his mind so vividly.

“So did I Genma, but we won’t go to Sakura and bother her with this. We are two old fools, all we have are the memories, and that’s all we will get. We mourned her thirty years ago, we are not reopening this. She may not even be Akemi.” He put the records back and turned a hard look to Genma, who nodded back in agreement.

“Do you really believe that?” His brown eyes searching Kakashi for any confirmation that Sakura and Akemi where two different people, because at the moment he wasn’t sure.

“Yes, now let it go, put Akemi to rest. Let’s go have a drink in her memory and let it end there.” Kakashi didn’t want Genma to go to Sakura, he wanted this to be put behind them. But he couldn’t deny the facts, he just had to choose to ignore them because it didn’t matter for all the reasons he told Genma.

“Fine, your treat.” Genma grumbled.

On her day off Sakura was lying on the couch, there was some mindless program on the television she hoped would distract her, but it hadn’t. She switched it off, she couldn’t handle the babbling of the actors in the cheesy over dramatic soap opera. She had enough drama in her life, she didn’t need the fictional kind. She got up and walked out to the forest, she was intending to walk back to the clearing, but as she passed the trail that led to the waterfall, she hesitated, and let her feet guide her.

She sat down on the rock she used to watch the waterfall and meditate, letting the rushing water wash away her worries, help her clear her mind. It was mid-April and the water was still freezing cold but she needed to be closer. The turmoil in her heart and mind needed more help. She walked downstream enough to not get wet by the mist and walked to the middle of the river. She looked down the crystal clear water, she squatted down to watch the fish that swam by under her feet, it seemed like another world underneath her, the swaying of the plants from the moving water, the solidness of the rocks in the riverbed, it was hypnotizing. She dipped her hand into the ice cold water, she felt herself finding her center, enfolded in the nature around her. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth.

She knew it would take time, time for her heart to heal, the love she had for Kakashi and Genma started like a lightning strike, but it had engulfed her so completely, and like a blaze scorched her soul with its intensity. She didn’t regret it, how could she? She had been lucky enough to fall in love three times in her life, each for their own reasons. The time for Kakashi and Genma was over. The love she had for Sasuke was deep, rooted in the bottom of her heart, through time, she had loved him for as long as she could remember, and from that love bloomed Sarada. She had a family with Sasuke, she wasn’t going to throw that away. Sasuke and Sarada had been everything to her before, they would be everything to her now.

“Sakura…”

She stood up startled, broken from her reverie. “Oh, uh, Genma.” She gasped. She took in his face, his laugh lines deeper, evidence of a good life, his chocolate eyes still full of mirth, he wasn’t wearing a bandana anymore, his hair was pulled back, silver threading through his brunette hair. He smiled at her, she felt that same warmth coursing through her that she felt every time she was around him, he still smelled like a bright summer day. She half expected him to envelope her in his arms and kiss her like he would devour her, but he kept a respectful distance.

“Interesting finding you here.” He chuckled as he looked around.

Yes, it was interesting she supposed, this was where they had their first kiss, though disastrous as it was. “Interesting how?” she feigned curiosity.

He shook his head with a strained smile. “There’s something I want to ask you.” He scratched the back of his neck, nervous, “It’s stupid really, and Kakashi told me to drop it, but it’s difficult and I need to know.”

His mahogany eyes met hers, she sucked in a breath. She could guess at what he was going to ask.

“It started with your reappearance, it matched the disappearance of a woman I once knew. I thought back to the day you went missing and it also matched the date I met her, twenty nine-years apart exactly.”

Sakura felt like her lungs were in a vice. Of course they would figure it out based on the dates of her disappearances. Why didn’t Inoichi seal their memories and erase her completely? Kakashi was a genius and Genma wasn’t far behind on intelligence. He was watching her face, she forced herself to remain passive, not to give anything away.

“See this woman, she was amazing, strongest woman I ever met, and I don’t just mean her fists, and as beautiful as a sunrise, just like her name, Akemi.”

Her heart was trying to escape its cage, her fist clenching by her side, she took small even breaths trying to remain in control. “The same woman Kakashi-sensei mentioned to me.”

The corned of his mouth twitched up, “Yes, we had an interesting arrangement, the three of us. Now, Kakashi and I disagreed on what she looked like, odd considering how close we all were, and when we went to the archives to pull her identification picture, it didn’t match either of our descriptions.” He started pacing. “The day Akemi disappeared both Kakashi and I interacted with Inoichi, who could have easily altered our memories, though why he didn’t remove them is a question that can’t be answered now.”

Sakura took a deep breath to steel herself, “What’s your point Genma?”

He turned, his eyes caging her with their intensity, “I think you’re Akemi.”

Her heart dropped, she chuckled, “That’s ridiculous.”

He stepped up to her, he was so close, she wanted to bury her face in his broad chest, mold into his body. He bent down and breathed in deep.

“Maybe I don’t have an accurate memory of Akemi, but Inoichi couldn’t change her scent, and even though it’s been thirty years for me, I can still recall your scent vividly Akemi.”

She let out a chocked breath, she put her hands on his chest to push him away but she couldn’t find the strength, “Genma… please don’t…”

“You said that to me once before remember?”

“I can’t.” she looked up meeting his eyes,

“Your eyes aren’t matching what you are saying again.”

She closed her eyes, she pursed her lips, she wasn’t going to play this game. She took a step back, she could see the hurt in his eyes but she couldn’t give into him this time.

He gave her a sad smile, “I know that’s the right choice, you have a family here.” he stood up straight, he reached for her hand, “There is something I never got to say, if you would let me.” he looked at her pleading.

She felt her throat constrict, tears freely falling, she nodded.

“I love you.”

She sobbed, “Oh! I love you too.”

He pulled her into a hug, “It’s been thirty years and I still love you Akemi.”

She hiccupped, her head over his heart, “It’s still so fresh to me.

“It’s only been a few weeks for you, getting back to your daughter and your husband.”

“You must think I’m awful, having a family and being with you and Kakashi. I feel like a slut.” She cried.

He tilted her head up, “Hey, no, don’t ever say that about yourself, don’t even think that, but a lot makes sense now. I was a bit relentless pursuing you.”

She laughed through the crying, “Hard to resist your charm.”

He brushed her hair behind her ear, he gave her forehead a soft kiss. “Thank you Akemi.” He scoffed, “Sakura, thank you Sakura.”

“I can be Akemi for you.” She bit her lip, it came out before she could think.

He chuckled, “I suppose I should keep you two separate. Akemi wasn’t that much younger than me, but to you now, I’m an old man here, look at me graying and wrinkled.”

She reached up to touch his laugh lines, “And still as handsome as ever.”

He brought her hands to his lips. “As kind as always.” He kissed her knuckles. “Good bye Akemi.”

She couldn’t stop the torrent of tears, she reached for him, she kissed him, one last time full of all the love she had for him. He grunted in surprise, but quickly grabbed her waist, their hands grabbing at each other, kisses deep and all consuming, pouring everything they felt into this final kiss. He finally wretched himself from her and he was gone, leaving her crying in the middle of the river, letting her tears be washed away.

She spent the next few days in a haze, she knew this was necessary, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. She threw herself back into work, Ino was worried about her and had tried to talk to her but Sakura had been evading her. Sakura came home one night, after overworking herself again, she took off her medic coat and hung it up. The other two spots empty, Sarada should be coming home in a couple of weeks, and Sasuke, well there was no point waiting for him. As she turned away she heard a familiar pattern knocking at her front door. She froze, part of her felt elated the other part dreaded having to open the door.

She unglued her feet from the floor and went to open the door, she could feel the heat rising inside of her belly at the sight of him. “Kakashi, what are you doing here?” she cleared her throat, standing aside for him to step in. She caught a whiff of his scent, storms and forests, she closed the door keeping her distance from him, she couldn’t trust herself. He stepped into the living room, he seemed strangely rigid.

He turned to her, “I need to talk to you.”

She nodded in resignation, she motioned for him to sit on the couch, she sat across from him. “What about Kakashi?”

“You remember that kunoichi from Lock Village, Hanare?” He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

She shook her head, “Vaguely, just that we thought you were dating.”

He chuckled at the memory, “Well I copied a special jutsu of hers by accident, it allowed me to look into my own mind.”

“Ah, you cleared you’re mind from Inoichi’s manipulations I’m assuming.” There was no reason to play coy with him, he knew the truth.

“Did you ask him to do that?” his voice even.

She stood up, feeling confined, “No, I didn’t ask him to do that.” She stared at his gray eyes, “I asked him to seal all memories of Akemi.”

“Why?” he stood up, watching her as she paced.

“Because it would have been easier, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. I don’t know why he didn’t do as I asked, but it would have been so much easier if you had both forgotten me, her.” she bit the inside of her cheek.

He looked down at his hands, “I’m glad he didn’t, he could have come up with a better cover story though.”

“What would have made more sense Kakashi? That Akemi was in an arranged marriage or that she was me that fell through time?” she wanted to cry again, this time out of frustration. “I couldn’t have you remember me, you would become my sensei, how awkward would it be for you to realize that your student was Akemi?”

“About as confusing as it is now.” He answered simply. He stepped around the coffee table, his hands on her shoulders, “I thought you left me, and later I thought of you living some miserable life with a man you didn’t love.”

She trembled as she held back the tears, “I didn’t leave you willingly.” She pulled herself away from his hands, “but it wouldn’t have mattered because I would have been miserable anyways. As much as I love you both, I still have Sasuke and Sarada.” She choked out, tears spilling. “Kakashi, I want you so bad, but I can’t touch you because here and now I have a family. I know I still had one then but it was easier to forget, to give into being Akemi, but here, I’m surrounded by my family.” She gestured at the house full of pictures. “But you’re also in front of me and I want to jump into your arms. I haven’t had thirty years to process this.” She sobbed, “I love you, Kakashi, right now I love you so much I’m breaking apart.” She sunk into the couch, burying her face in her hands, “and you don’t even love me anymore, I’m just a memory to you.”

He sunk on his knees in front of her, he pulled her hands away, “Don’t say that, I will always love Akemi, and I will always love you Sakura.” He pulled down his mask, kissing her forehead.

She reached up to touch his face, she traced his lips, remembering that last time they were together, that beauty mark that she loved to kiss, his strong angular jaw, his eyes, now a matching set of a stormy sky. His silver hair seemed icier, there were a few grooves around the corner of his eyes but it all made him seem wiser, more mature. “It’s unfair how good looking you still are.” She hiccupped.

He chuckled, “You haven’t changed much.” His fingers went up to her hair, falling at her shoulder. “I can remember you clearly now, your long rose hair whipping around in a fight. Graceful and deadly.”

“I learned it from my sensei.” Her eyes meeting his.

She took his hand, she noticed the scar down his ring finger. “Will you tell me where you got that scar?”

He looked at where her finger traced the scar, “Oh, that one has a boring story.”

“Please?” her eyes begging.

He gave her an embarrassed laugh, “It was from a cat.”

She looked at him not sure if he was joking or not.

“Really, it was the missing cat mission all genin get when they start off. Obito ended up catching the cat, but some other cat gave me this, Rin had stitched it up.” He pulled his hand back.

Sakura grabbed at his hand again, “I miss your touch Kakashi.” She whispered, hating herself for the ache in her skin for his.

He breathed in deep, he couldn’t give in to her, she was still in the middle of two times, but his traitorous mind, recalling the last night they were together, then the night she asked him to make love to her, all with new clarity, and her eyes, those breathtaking eyes, looking at him like she needed him to comfort her, to care for her. He reached for her neck, his fingers caressing her soft skin, feeling the pulsing of her blood.

She sighed and melted into his touch, her eyes closing, remembering how he felt, his lean strong body over hers. “That dream, that night, it was of you making love to me and calling me Sakura.” She said it without thinking, at the moment wanting that dream to be true. He leaned over a placed a delicate kiss on her collar.

He breathed out and sat back, letting her go. “I should go, our time has passed Akemi. You have a wonderful family that you love Sakura, Akemi can remain in the past.”

She nodded, her face wet, she knew he was right, but it hurt so much seeing him walk away. He stopped by the table on the way out, pulled something from his pocket and set it down. The sound of the door closing was deafening. Her heart shattering in her chest, she curled up on the couch and sobbed.

As the days passed, she felt a fog settle around her, she couldn’t think clearly, she was barely eating, getting out of bed took more effort than she was used to but she had to go to the clinic, even if all she did was spend the time locked up in her office. He misery was broken one morning with a hawk tapping at her window, she opened the window letting it fly to her desk. She smiled, it was Sasuke’s hawk. She took the note from its extended leg, she gave the hawk a few strokes before it took off into the sky.

Sakura unfurled the note, it was coordinates, it was Sasuke’s location for the next week. She gasped, he was asking her to join him, she bit her lip. Sarada was supposed to come back in a week, she looked around her office, she wasn’t needed here, and Sarada was grown up now, she would be fine if she was gone for a few months. Sakura took off her medic’s jacket and walked out. She went straight to Naruto, he looked up at her as she entered his office, he gave her a large smile.

“Naruto, I need permission to leave the village.” She walked up to his desk and gave him Sasuke’s note.

He read it and understood, “Of course.”

“I’ll leave a note for Sarada, but can you check on her from time to time?” she worried her bottom lip between her teeth.

He stood up and walked around to her, putting his hand on her shoulder, “She did so well when you were gone. You don’t have to worry about her, but of course I’ll watch over her. Go to Sasuke, you need him to help you heal.” She looked up at him, pain evident in her eyes, “I may not be very smart, but I still know you Sakura-chan, whatever happened to you while you were gone, it’s only gotten worse since Sasuke left. You need him and he needs you.” He took a paper and signed it. “Here, your travel permit.” He handed it to her.

“Thank you, Naruto, you’re a good friend.” She hugged him, entrusting him with her daughter, then she left to pack.

Sakura wrote a letter to Sarada explaining where she was going and that she loved her and trusted her and was proud of her. She went to put it on the table by the door. For the first time she noticed the items Kakashi had left behind, it was the bracelet and the glass encased cherry blossom Genma and him had given her at the summer festival. Her heart lurched, she picked them both up with shaky fingers, she breathed in deep and put them in a drawer. Akemi was the past, at least it was the past for them, but for her still so recent and fresh in her mind, she closed the drawer with one last glance. She grabbed her pack and cloak, locking the door behind her.

It took her five days to reach Sasuke, he was near the coast, the trees tall evergreens, the ocean below the cliff, it was a beautiful location, there was a cabin at the edge of everything. She sensed him inside, she opened the door. He stood, in all the beauty she fell in love with, all the darkness and the light within, he looked at her expectantly. She dropped her pack, her heart thundering, the pain and guilt all bubbling to the surface.

“I’m so sorry.” She sobbed out, the drops of her tears falling full and heavy.

He was holding her in a flash, she leaned on him, unable to hold herself up from the weight of it all crashing down on her. “It’s ok Sakura.”

She shook her head fervently against his chest, “Sasuke-kun, I have been…”

He lifted her head up and kissed her fiercely, “I love you Sakura.”

“But I…”

He gave her a hard look, “To be honest I don’t care, I could guess, but I also don’t want confirmation of what happened.” They both sank to the floor, he brushed back her hair wanting to see her emerald depths unobstructed. “You are my wife, you have loved me when I wasn’t a good person, you never judged me, you have been home to me. Let me be your home this time.”

She sobbed and threw herself at him, his kisses reassuring, loving and comforting. Yes, he was her home to come back to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a roller coaster for me, I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for everyone that supported me silently, with a kudos and/or a review, thank you for taking the time to read my story. Let me know how you feel :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please let me know! Thank you for your time.


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